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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect to use a disabled toilet when I'm out with the pram?

734 replies

CT123 · 10/02/2009 19:17

I can't use the ladies when I have my baby with me in the pram. The only thing I can do is wheel him into the disabled toilet with me. But the disabled toilets have special locks on them, which presumably disabled people have special keys for. I appreciate that they want to stop able-bodied people hogging disabled toilets but what else can I do?

OP posts:
2shoesformyvalentine · 13/02/2009 17:47

MrsGrahamBell do remember unlike the bloke in little britain, you or your dc has to stay in it and never walk.

EldonAve · 13/02/2009 17:59

settle down Evenstar - cory was asking because her child sometimes needs to use a wheelchair

comparethePeachydotcom · 13/02/2009 18:06

I got my key froma mobility store and you had to sen din dla details as was online

But truth be told you can get them on Ebay as well (but i'd have had to pay VAt,no chance LOL).

Moondancer · 13/02/2009 18:11

Pixel - thats exactly why its better to get one cut. The official ones are hugh!!!! A shop can cut a much smaller one! (Incidentally you CAN get smaller official Radar Keys - they come in 2 sizes.

Pixel · 13/02/2009 19:26

I didn't realise that (having got mine 'officially' ). Do you mean I've been carting that thing about when I could have had a dinky one on my keyring?

TheLadyEvenstar · 13/02/2009 19:40

Eldon, I know and i was not aiming that posting at her!

mm22bys · 13/02/2009 22:41

WWYD....

At course today, course about to start but need to use loo.

Walk past disabled loo that has sign saying on it...please consider that others may need to use this toilet because they have no other option...

Think I DO have an option, and think about this thread....

Go to the one male/female toilet on the entire floor, but someone else (from my course) is using it.

Do I wait,and risk missing some of my course, or do I leg it back to the disabled course...thinking I don't want to miss my course, nor do I want the course held up for me, nor do I want to inconvenience someone who does have no other option but to use the disabled loo....

Thinking some more about this thread and how hypocritical it would be of me to use said disabled toilet....but I don't want to miss my course...plus the inconvenience of others factor...

Person in one non-disabled course eventually comes out, I am probably less than one minute in there...

leg it back to my course, pass disabled toilet to find I would have needed a key anyway....

Get back to my course and find even though I was late getting back it hadn't re-started.

Thanks MN, in the past I may have ducked into the disabled loo (presuming it wasn't locked of course)...but I know now how selfish and inconsiderate that would have been...

akhems · 14/02/2009 13:55

moondancer the official ones are huge for the very reason that they are intended for those with disabilities, which sometimes means stiff, sore or deformed fingers.

They are not intended for selfish twats to get smaller ones cut for their own convenience

comparethePeachydotcom · 14/02/2009 14:05

Well yes but some people without sn dont have stiff fingers so small fits wellin pockets etc (but I have major loss problems and the bigger ones are better for me- I dont even own a mobile any more as I cant keep track of them )

NOt everyone wanting a smallone mihght be non-disabled perhaps?

MM""BYs glad that happened- opposite for me am faraid; able looking femalecame out of disabled loo and instead of thinking nothing and assuming she had a non visible need wondered if she posted on here as a don't - care.sad really.

Instead ahd to send ds1 in with ds2: and I categorically hate that as 8 year old ds2 should not have tocare for ds1's needs; schoolalready dump enough of that on him.

belgo · 14/02/2009 14:20

I've never used a toilet meant for disabled people. I don't leave the baby unattended outside the toilet door; and if the baby is asleep, I don't get him out. I open the door, and pull the pram in as far as it will go, and use the toilet, even if it means the toilet door is open. No one is going to look at me.

Am I the only one to do that?

pokeydot · 14/02/2009 14:51

ok not sure if its already been stated have only read half the comments but the law states that ANY plave that is accessable to more than 50 people per day must

"have an accessible toilet, not that just disabled people can use it. You can put up the sign (as long as the toilet is not included in the minimum necessary under the regulations), and it may act as a deterrent, but you cannot enforce it"

so as the law says a disabled toilet is not purely for disabled people....a sign can be put up but is not enforceable.

I too use the assessable toilets while out and about with 3 children in tow there is no way i would leave my children outside a city centre toilet while i did my business!

2shoesformyvalentine · 14/02/2009 15:08

where does the law state that, have you a link(as intereted)

pocketmonster · 14/02/2009 15:19

Havne't read it all, but I always used the diabled toilet when DD's were in a pram/buggy and also when they were really small and I didn't want to leave them on their own outside the loo. Don't think its a problem - nobody ever told me off!

comparethePeachydotcom · 14/02/2009 15:23

belgonot at allbut eithret the peopleposting 'iamnot leaving my child unattended every 7 posts dont read any other posts or are bieng eliberately awkward coz that's what I do as well when out with non sn kids

oh but shhhhhh coz parents of sn kids only have those right? we have No Idea what its like for other peoplewith prmas or severalkids even though we actually have those also and stilldont use them

belgo · 14/02/2009 15:31

and I've put ds on the floor whilst I've used the toilet, I always keep a cloth in the bag for that very purpose. Or I put my coat on the floor and put him on that.

And I've also used the toilet with dd1, dd2 and ds squashed in the cubicle with me.

comparethePeachydotcom · 14/02/2009 15:34

Yup done allthose Belgo,it's not fun but does it have to be?

belgo · 14/02/2009 15:36

no I suppose it's not fun, but I've never even given it a though before seeing this thread!

I'm the sort of person who follows rules rigidly, so when I see the wheelchair sign on the toilet door, I would never dream of using it!

giraffescantdancethetango · 14/02/2009 15:43

You should never use a disabled toilet if you are able bodiedthis is why!!!!

LilyBolero · 14/02/2009 15:46

But no-one should have to put their coat on a possibly urine-soaked floor??? Surely that is not the answer, and we shouldn't all have to be stoical and 'just manage' - there SHOULD be a facility that means a mother with a baby can adequately go to the toilet with dignity, privacy, cleanliness and safety. And they shouldn't be forced into compromising one of those things, or possibly inconveniencing a disabled person.

comparethePeachydotcom · 14/02/2009 15:52

Yes Lily I totally agree- there really totally should be,and sometimes there is.

I dont use a coat BTW- i've got a few pampers care mats left from my my HB as they're disposable

belgo · 14/02/2009 15:56

Lily - I've never put my coat on a urine soaked floor. In that instance I would leave ds in the pram (with door open as I said), or holding him in my arms.

It's not about stoically 'just managing' -I just get on with it without thinking. Oh and I have developed a strong bladder - good reason to do your pelvic floor exercises every day!

SJisontheway · 14/02/2009 16:19

Sheesh - I didn't want to post before I read and it's taken me days! (only get a few minutes here and there online). Anyway, DD is disabled so entitled to use the toilet. Around here they are usually empty, but I'm not sure I'd be too bothered if a mother came out with kids and we had to wait. But DD is in nappies (probably always will) so we don't have the urgency that others have spoken of. I have to admit I have used the toilet myself when out with DD. She has severe learning difficulties as well as being physically disabled. Bringing her in to cubicle would not be an option (she licks everything). I have parked her outside when toilets are quiet, but in a busy toilet I'm not comfortable peeing with door open. She could not be left unattended as could have meltdown and could not be left with strangers for same reason. I'd have a bit of empathy with mums with multiple little ones in tow. Toilets are horrible germy places and as parents we know what our kids are capable of. I wouldn't be happy with little ones crawling around cubicle floor. I would say there are probably some awkward ages where using regular toilet would be very difficult to do safely with a couple of little ones. But like I said - we don't have the urgency issues others have spoken of so maybe I would be less tolerant if that was the case.

comparethePeachydotcom · 14/02/2009 16:20

SJ if your childs sn causes the prblems to me that means usage is OK if you see what I eman?

others disagree I know

nappyaddict · 14/02/2009 18:35

belgo what do you do when you have your period? do you still wee with the door open?

belgo · 14/02/2009 18:39

nappyaddict - having been either bfing or pregnant for most of the last six years, I haven't had many periods, and have not yet accounted that scenario.

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