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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect to use a disabled toilet when I'm out with the pram?

734 replies

CT123 · 10/02/2009 19:17

I can't use the ladies when I have my baby with me in the pram. The only thing I can do is wheel him into the disabled toilet with me. But the disabled toilets have special locks on them, which presumably disabled people have special keys for. I appreciate that they want to stop able-bodied people hogging disabled toilets but what else can I do?

OP posts:
AnarchyAuntSaysRomanceIsDead · 10/02/2009 22:26

If you have a baby in a pushchair you cannot use a normal toilet cubicle. Pushchair doesn't fit, can hardly leave baby outside in pushchair, and can't exactly put baby on average toilet floor whilst you do a wee!

I think yanbu - its not as if you will be in there for more than five minutes at the most.

CapricaSix · 10/02/2009 22:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hangingbellyofbabylon · 10/02/2009 22:28

if you buy a radar key you are agreeing that you are disabled or buying on behalf of a disabled person - don't do it please.

But I do agree that accesible toilets are a real problem for those with a pushchair. Why they ever thought it ok to put baby changing without loos in, gawd knows.

comparethePeachydotcom · 10/02/2009 22:28
chegirl · 10/02/2009 22:29

I know I said that there is nothing wrong with using a disabled toilet but I think getting a radar key is a bit different.

There is a difference between using the big cubicle in the ladies loos (obvious if it has the baby changing in it) and buying a radar key. The toilets are locked for good reason.

I was under the impression that radar keys were only for disabled people. If you are not disabled then you shouldnt get one.

Rushing for a wee because your LOs are all strapped and wrapped is one thing but getting a key is pushing it a bit really.

BarkingHarriet · 10/02/2009 22:29

fattiemumma of course it's different. There's no way I would park in a disabled space - they are obviously there for a purpose.

But when I went to the shopping centre for new shoes with dd1 (7), dd2 (5) and dn (4) there was no way that I was leaving any of them unattended whilst one went to the loo - and the only way we could do that would be to use one of the many disabled facilities, which were vacant (had there been anyone with a more pressing need I would obviously have let them use it first)

2shoesformyvalentine · 10/02/2009 22:29

yes I did, he was fine, as for chaging, can't really remember,(back then I don't think there were even changing places)
tbh I can change dd(when she was incontinent) in her wheelchair, and she is more wriggley than any small person due to her CP. so just don't see the issue, sorry

Hangingbellyofbabylon · 10/02/2009 22:29

for what it's worth I usually parked the pushchair right next to the cubicle door and did the quickest wee ever. I don't get those people that spend hours in public loos anyway, what the hell are you doing? surely it's 30 second wee, wipe, flush. In and out in under a minute.

CapricaSix · 10/02/2009 22:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TotalChaos · 10/02/2009 22:31

that's what I used to do too Hangingbelly. I would keep the cubicle jar closed but unlocked just to feel a bit nearer.

Wonderstuff · 10/02/2009 22:35

Why are people unhappy about people with prams using disabled loos? What is the objection?

SparklyGothKat · 10/02/2009 22:39

If i am with Ds1 or Dd2 (who are disabled) we use the disabled loos, if I am with Ds2 (who is a buggy) I use the toliet at the far end with the door ajar and the buggy right against the door so I can see him still. Not hard

HateSponge · 10/02/2009 22:39

Unless you're pushing a disabled person out of the way, or staying in there for hours on end, I fail to see the problem.

I had to use the disabled loo at our local supermarket a few months ago. on my own, no children. All other toilets had been locked up; I asked a member of staff who said they couldn't/wouldn't open them, & I should use the disabled one.

Monkeygi · 10/02/2009 22:45

I don't see what the problem is, tbh. No sane person would leave the baby in their buggy by the loo door, or leave the buggy unattended, for the sake of 'possibly' forcing someone else to wait for a minute or two. Anyway, what do you do with your baby if you do take them out of the buggy? Plonk them on the floor? Nice. I had a similar problem at Tesco's when ds2 was about 6 months old as trolleys weren't allowed in the loos. I had to juggle baby, jeans, loo seat etc etc. All very difficult and unnecessary.

chegirl · 10/02/2009 22:46

Personally its the buying of a key meant for people with disabilities that bothers me. Not the casual use of a disabled toilet. I think that is crossing the line.

I think you would be pretty unlucky to get a bollocking for using a disabled toilet if you have a baby. But using a facility provided for the use of disabled people when you dont have a disability is not right.

Its a massive pain trying to sort out babies, nappies, wees etc when you are out and about with LOs but not quite on a par with having MS, CP, Spinal injury etc is it?

CuddlyKelpie · 10/02/2009 22:47

No, it's not really ok unless there are more than one disabled cubicle and there usually aren't.

What if a genuinely disabled person was desperate to use and was caught short? I would feel mortified and ashamed that I had caused them that mishap.

Public toilets are a bloody nightmare with a pram but even more so in a wheel chair, I would imagine.

I hated using a pushchair anyway, the papoose was so much easier. Slings are the in-thing these days.

BoffinMum · 10/02/2009 22:48

Please try not to do this if you can avoid it. Disabled people like me who can't get a wheelchair in and out of the car by themselves if they have to be out on their own find it really hard to stand on crutches and queue for things without being in pain. We still have trouble in smaller cubicles so we don't have a real choice about which loo to use. It can be agonising if someone is taking their time in there and sometimes really means the difference between being able to carry on with an outing or go home exhausted.

chegirl · 10/02/2009 22:55

The facility I was talking about was the key.

2shoesformyvalentine · 10/02/2009 23:02

BoffinMum your post explains why, unless I have to I advoid using them with dd. I am always aware there are people who can't wait.

HateSponge · 10/02/2009 23:05

Surely rather than putting parents in the position of having to use disabled toilets (& I imagine the situation much be much worse for dads - I wouldn't want to have to park my baby's buggy alongside the urinals!) the answer is for shopping centres, supermarkets etc to make sure they have proper parents facilities where you have room to take your babies/young children in with you, go to the loo, change them etc in the one place?

LauriefairycakeeatsCupid · 10/02/2009 23:06

I think people who don't have disabilities should avoid using disabled toilets whereever possible.

And that includes not have an enormous pram.

oldraver · 10/02/2009 23:09

I always use the 'disabled'loos as I am not leaving my DS unattended outside a cubicle plus many loos especially in shops have stupid double doors at right angle to each other so you cant geta buggy in anyway

Our local shopping centre doesnt have 'disabled' loos they have several toilets that are labelled toilets for... 'the use of those not able to gain access to normal toilets, this may include disabled and parents with pushchairs'. I do have a Radar key as most of the toilets I need to use in local towns need a key and the ladies toilets are inaccesable when I have the pushchair so I dont see a problem with using a Radar key

In all the time I have used a disabled loo I have never seen it used by a disabled person

2shoesformyvalentine · 10/02/2009 23:12

well if you feel ok with it...
you could also park in a disabled bay if you want, doesn't make it right.

Monkeygi · 10/02/2009 23:14

I certainly wouldn't dream of buying a key or whatever with the intent of always using the disabled loo. And I always try to organise things so that I don't have to 'go' at all while out on my own with ds2. But, in an emergency, I would use the disabled loo. Selfish and thoughtless maybe, but I'm sorry, my baby's safety comes first. There are too many stories of children being snatched when their mum looks away for a second. When I'm out I always have at least one hand on the buggy, which you can't do if you're sitting on the loo with your baby at the door. Paranoid perhaps, but that's me.

fattiemumma · 10/02/2009 23:15

I find this attitude of "i want to so i shall" quite disturbing actually.

you are not disabled so have no right to own a radar key.

im sorry but i really don't see that it is any different to parking in a disabled bay. you are using a facility that is there for teh sole purpose of enabling a disabled person to use an essential facility.

if you feel teh cibicles are not wide enough for your PFB and their oversized pram then complain to teh builders or centre managment.