to expect to use a disabled toilet when I'm out with the pram?

[CT123]

I can't use the ladies when I have my baby with me in the pram. The only thing I can do is wheel him into the disabled toilet with me. But the disabled toilets have special locks on them, which presumably disabled people have special keys for. I appreciate that they want to stop able-bodied people hogging disabled toilets but what else can I do?

Nappyaddict - I'm more of a mooncup girl and yes. No one can see over the top of the pushchair when you're sitting/squatting (!) anyway.

LMB - if you want a quality tandem for a not too outrageous price you are best going second hand. here's a jane powertwin on ebay.

here's a kolcraft

Phil and Teds

twinmam you have to realise that the them and us has been made on here, not by chice but the countless threads where disable peoples lives have been found less worthy than non disabled.
I think if you found that you had to fight your chids corner in every place rl and mn, you would end up a bit bitter.
have alook and you will find 3 threads with diasabled toilets in the thread titles.
all full off people saying how dificult normal mothering is.

I see what you're saying 2 shoes and I seriously NEVER meant to imply that the difficulties I face as a twin mum (and I still stand by the fact that it is often bloody difficult) are in the realm of those having a disabled child. I truly am sorry you are constantly having to fight your child's corner, I honestly can't imagine but I know that I would be incredibly bitter. I guess my main gripe was feeling that there was an implication that I somehow wasn't allowed to find it hard which adds to my whole sense of inadequacy thing that I've had since becoming a mum The thing is that for me things are becoming easier as the girls get a bit bigger and more mobile whereas I know that for many on here things have just got more and more difficult. I still think the us and them thing is shit and sad, whoever it was caused by, and that facilities need to be improved for everyone...

PS I think 'normal' mothering IS difficult but I am more than willing to accept that being a mum when disabled or being a mum with a disabled child would be in a whole other world of difficult and hats off to those of you in that situation

Being a mum shouldn't make you a martyr though. There's nothing wrong with saying 'Actually it's b*** difficult getting a pushchair into a public loo, why can't there be a proper facility.' No-one is doing a comparison between disabled and non-disabled people. There should be facilities for all.

And fwiwi, twinmam, I think you deserve a medal for coping with twins. I admire ANYONE who is a mother of multiples, so don't feel like a failure, it IS hard.

Absolutely Lily

(Obv should have been fwiw)

Oops x post - the absolutely bit was in response to the first one not the one about me deserving a medal

Thankyou nappyaddict

Riven because i wouldn't want to watch men pee, and i don't think they'd want me to watch either. If there were loads of seperate cubicles then that wouldn't be too bad. Although i feel lots of women may feel intimidated sharing public toilets with the opposite sex, especially those who have been sexually abused.

right banning myself from mumsnet today until ds goes to his nana's.

Some people should take a long hard look at themselves and thier appauling attitudes.

There is a lot of bashing of people like twinmam though - a lot of 'how dare you think it's hard having twins, it's far harder having a disabled child'.

Yes it probably is. But it is also hard having a baby, doubly (or more) hard having twins. And a bit of empathy both ways wouldn't go amiss. Nobody has said 'Actually it's really shocking that there isn't an accessible toilet available for mums with small children - why should a mum have to either wee in public, or leave her child unattended?'. It's all 'it was your choice to have a baby'.

(Must preview) - meant to say 'an accessible toilet IN ADDITION TO THE DISABLED TOILET'

I will always use a disabled toilet if the queue for the ordinary one is too big. It seems plain daft to leave it empty with a queue of bursting people all crossing their legs. Obviously if there was a disabled person waiting behind me I would allow them to go ahead of me without needing to be asked but I've never come across that yet. I am not entirely sure why they should be considered exclusively for the use of disabled people. The only issue, surely, is that disabled people have access to a bigger more manageable space and an adapted WC so that they are not unfairly inconvenienced. So long as that provision is there for them I see no reason why it shouldn't be used by able-bodied people too if it's empty. The comparison to parking spaces is entirely different. You leave your car unattended so you are not able to see whether or not you are inconveniencing someone whose need is greater than yours. You are in and out of the loo in under 2 minutes. Nobody is hugely inconvenienced.

twinmam i have no expierence of twins, so I would never assume that I know anything about the difficulties faced.
I just wish people would realise that their difficulty will be short term whereas my dd's will always be there.
re read the trhead title
"to expect to use a disabled toilet when I'm out with the pram? "

I think you will find it is the word expect that riles people,

I've used a disable toilet when out with dd and her buggy, as long as there aren't others needing to use it. Mainly for safety reasons, I wouldn't be comfortable leaving her outside the loo whilst I went in. I will continue to do this. TBH, they usually have baby changing facilities in them.

I also think it would be wise to have the regular toilets, a disabled toilet, and a 'parents toilet' for people to use if they have small children with buggies. They need to cater to everyones needs. Until they do, I'll keep using the diabled tolets instead of leaving my dd outside where someone could quite easliy walk off with her.

I've had disbled people waiting outside of the toilets as I'm coming out (haven't been there when I went in), who have started to say something to me about me using it, but then when they see the buggy and dd in it, they've always just smiled and said sorry. Understsanig fully why I've used the disabled tolilet to avoid leaving dd.

So long as I'm not stopping anybody else using the facilty I honestly don't see the problem. They just need to make another toilet facilty that's suited to parents with small children.

I must just add, that I posted before I had read the whole thread. I have now read (most of!)the whole thread, and I must say I was humbled by what what Embarrassed posted. But I agree with flightattendent12 in that we seem to be arguing over what there are not enough of. Digressing a bit here, but I recently went into my local town with my father in law who has come to stay and needs to use a disability scooter as he can only walk a few yards. Although I'm familiar with the town I'd never had to negotiate it from the perspective of a disabled person before and it was a real eye opener I don't mind telling you! Everything we tried to do was hassle and I was exhausted by the end of it. I can see why, when every day of your life is like that you may feel it's the last straw if you've struggled to the loo and it's busy. I promise to think twice in future.

has anyone ever thought of starting a MN campain about better facilities for parents.
disabled organisations must have done it to get the existing facities,
maybe Mums and Dads need to shout a bit, rather than just saying oh i will just do that(eneter whatever it is)

I remember Cod saying they were easily available and that was ages ago, so not a new thing, I suppose some people(not cod) just have no scruples, rather like people who misuse blue badges.