To expect my DP would pop into the supermarket on his way home?

[AmIWhatAndWhy]

We go shopping together on Saturdays. By Friday we generally have nothing in, I don't drive and am sahm to two toddlers.

I asked him if he'd pop into the supermarket (it's next door to the train sttion on is way home) and he said no way.

It happens all the time. he refuses and I end up buying food, coffee, nappies etc from local shops which is almost twice the price.

He suggested I go out shopping after he gets in, a 20 minute walk in rain, and I'd have to wait until the DC were settled first.

I could explode.

it's a hard age that toddler age (well it was with mine) but at least they start charging about and when they start doing that, I think they do start sleeping slightly better

having said that, I have a 7 and 8 yr old singing abba songs in their room at the top of their voices while I'm trying to watch trial and retribution so you should probably listen to nothing I say on the subject of sleep

are you pregnant? oh yes, of course, dc2 will be an angel

(actually dd, first child, was a horror sleeper and ds was a great sleeper so maybe you will be blessed!)

I'm not casting aspersions here on the OP but one thing I will say. I quit work when ds came around (dd was sick all the time and in hospital etc. etc.) and one thing I regret was not making dh do his share. I.e. making him do some bedtimes and baths and do some of the grudge work that comes with having children. I took over most of it while he carried on with his long hours job and travelling. And suddenly, they were at pre school and I was back at work full time and I was very resentful.

As I said OP, I'm not saying this is your situation, but if it sounds a bit like that, I would try and get your dh to do a bit more at home. It is so easy to fall into the habit of not leaving the kids with him and in the end, it means you end up doing more work!

I'm not talking about shopping but mainly stuff like leaving the kids with him for a day so he learns to look after them properly otherwise it becomes way too easy for him to sit back and not do it!

Hmm...tbh, OP YANBU at all...

I think if one of you is near the shop and you need something as a family, than it is completely reasonable to expect that person to get this....
surely, especially considering the weather of the past few days the Op's request was NOT unreasonable...
Yes, it may be a pain in the arse...but surely....not a major issue, if you are near the shop....

ah I was just waiting for someone to post that!

you cannot say being at home is harder. You can't compare the two like that.

I slip away for an hour or so, come back and there's a big love-in going on.

I was just thinking that. V rare for me to be so mellow. Might be the 2 beers I've had.

aha. A ridiculous statement from pinot

...am going to out myself now as the mum who deserves rubbish-mum-of-the-year-award....but now that I am at Uni (currently on Placement), I do find that easier...being away from the Kids...as much as I love them like...., generally less draining then when I was at home full time....
and yeah, both is hard...just in different ways, isn't it?

depends on teh job, pinot. And on the parent and child

My lovely dh has spent 5 hours travelling home tonight and he still found time to stop off in duty free and bring home some wine.
In fact he has just said that he was toying with the idea of stopping off at the supermarket and picking up some sour cream for dinner (I made nachoes grande)

I'd still rather have a rough speaking docker, iota

ah now duty free. Now you're talking ;-)

lol pointy

Each to her own eh, pointy?

Us cats are choosey unlike dogs who love anyone and everyone

Exploding is reasonable

As someone said (sorry can't remember who) you need to start training that man of yours, or putting up posters Free to a good home!!

Yep - shopping on the way home is a pain in the a$$. Not many people enjoy it. BUT not many people enjoy having to wait for the tax credits to come in to go shopping, not many people enjoy taking 2 kids shopping in this weather (and I am guessing that most of the people who said 'it's not that difficult' are living where there's not a river of slush and drive), not many people enjoy living with a complete twat but this is the OP's life.

I am to admit when I read the OP that my first thought was 'why not buy more on a Saturday?' - not having even considered the difficulties that amIwhatandwhy was facing ...

As for those of you suggesting she learn to drive - I think you missed the point where she was waiting for the tax credits to come in to buy these bits and pieces - I'd say she probably doesn't have a lot of money for lessons - not to mention a car, tax, insurance, petrol....

SAHM does not mean DH gets to avoid all and any unplesant task and be a complete tosser You go and get the kids settled first What a plank. Get the kids to bed, walk 20 mins there & back in the snow, cold, dark - because I can't be fucked spending 10 mins to do it on my way home. Training?? He needs Boot Camp and QUICK!!!