To expect my DP would pop into the supermarket on his way home?

[AmIWhatAndWhy]

We go shopping together on Saturdays. By Friday we generally have nothing in, I don't drive and am sahm to two toddlers.

I asked him if he'd pop into the supermarket (it's next door to the train sttion on is way home) and he said no way.

It happens all the time. he refuses and I end up buying food, coffee, nappies etc from local shops which is almost twice the price.

He suggested I go out shopping after he gets in, a 20 minute walk in rain, and I'd have to wait until the DC were settled first.

I could explode.

I didn't mean, in that post, that they should be responsible for all the shopping but the day to day stuff, I'd hope a SAHP would manage that tbh. I wouldn't want to have to go shopping regularly on the way back from work which is what sounds like happens.

That's why some of us were helpfully suggesting online shopping!

"We physically can't carry it back, though I sometimes top up the shop during the week when Ds is in preschool so it's just me and Dd. With the snow and ice this week we haven't."

The not able to carry enough shop is the weekly shop, not the bits she wanted picking up tomight.

She wanted supper, nappies, coffee. Not exactly back breaking...

But FIS, would you have initially refused, while suggesting that your OH goes walking to the shops on your arrival home?

"something for supper" is vague and ominous. That's not just one item

you forgot the coffee, pooka.

And I bet there was more

Agree that online shopping is fantastic.

yeah and he did marla, that's what I meant

and I'm sure I would too but wouldn't want to and I would be annoyed if it happened all the time if it was something my partner knew I didn't like doing

everyone has tasks they don't like doing

Well there always is more PD.

I often call to Asda after I finished work and get a few bits for tea if I know there is nothing as I know DH finds it difficult shopping with two kids in tow and since I work near the supermarket it makes more sense that I go after work than having him trail both the kids out in the snow when they could be playing/making snowmen etc.

if you taljk about the hypothetical, it'sll just cause arguments

if I thought I might get away with it pooka ;-)

The thread was started on the basis that the DH had flatly refused, and that he usually refused.

Something for supper - unspecified - is therefore up to the DH and could be as simple as a pizza.

Anyway let's not get into "5 items or less", the point is that to refuse to go into a shop on your way home to save your OH a 40 min walk in the dark and the rain is plain selfish whichever way you cut it.

And why is it man bashing? If a man came on and said the same it'd be the same response.

I would be a bit annoyed at myself if it took me until nearly supper time to realise that there was ..er.. no supper.
Dh is perfectly happy to nip to M&S on his lunch break. But I would feel mean telling him just as he was heading home that he needed to go and hit the shops first.

We are a team. Of course he helps out ( actually he usually does the main shop with one of the children)but I can quite understand why on Friday he might just want to come home.

TBH I am more likely to have phoned and said - could you get a bottle of something and i'll order a takeaway.

Actually a trip out on my own to get some stuff would be positively wonderful as a means of missing the pre-bed hysteria (but then I know that dh would get on with the pre-bed and into-bed stuff while I was out pottering shopping.

the '5 items or less' would be very important to me, though

well maybe you should moan marla? why are you doing so much?

there's nothing wrong with a good moan every now and then

Gah! But she was having to put the children to bed and get them settled before setting out to get the food.

yes pooka, that's how I feel. Even if I came back to hysteria, it would be 40 mins ON MY OWN

well maybe she needs to learn to put her foot down ;-)

there's a great freedom in saying, 'here are the kids, I'm back in 40 mins as I'm going to the shop' and saying 'byeee' in a cheerful manner, closing the front door and ignoring the chaos!