to expect mothers not to break off an adult conversation mid sentence because their dc has just toddled up...

[Fairynufff]

It usually happens in the middle of some really deep life crisis/personal revelation and then a child will toddle up (not an emergency) and the mother will just start cooing at the child about the toy/biscuit/whatever the child is waving around! Hello? We were in a conversation here...

or what about multi-tasking?

I'm perfectly capable of holding a many-branched detailed, in-depth conversation with a friend whilst cooking lunch and dealing with my own toddler and visiting toddler coming in/out asking things etc.

And maybe asking "which eggcup would you like?" is fending off a known tantrum possibility... and asking something like the doesn't preclude me from continuing to listen to my friend and what she is saying. Likewise if she was asking something similar of her/my child.

I'm still with you Fairy .

Actually, I can see that asking for opinion about egg cup is time critical. An egg is done when it is done, you can't then wait for a child to decide about the colour of the egg cup. The decision has to be made in advance. If a toddler is used to choosing the colour they will be thrown off by a change in the routine if they are presented with an egg cup they didn't chose, cue far more upset than the original quick aside...

Fairy - I think Bonsoiranna has hit the spot - you are scared that the other mum is finding you boring. It is simply NOT about you but the needs of the child.

x - posts weegle

I agree with fairynuff. Unless its an emergency I think its right that a child learns to wait and that their needs are not always paramount. My family are teachers and say schools are full of children with no concept of respect for others - everything is always all about them.

That said I was upset when a child free friend ticked me off for ending a call to deal with a screaming newborn.

ironically I have to break off this adult conversation as my youngest wants mummy! (And SCARED stiff I might be considered boring naturalbornmum). Thanks again.

fairynuff....i too have x 3 kids and (LOVE EM TO BITS BY THE WAY)I'm with you all the way.I put my hand up and say "excuse me,i'm talking".If I hadn't learnt to do that years ago,I would never be able to have had a normal,adult conversation again and I too get niggled by the parents who break off to attend little one whims....we all know that as soon as Mummy looks relaxed,little one is going to try and do anything to change it.If it's that important you'll soon be told about it!!!!

Oh dear I am guilty of this...

Me to grown up: blah de blah de blah

Me: Oh yes there's ted very good aren't you clever

Me:blah de blah de blah

Is that wrong?

depends on age of child

4/5 and up should be taught to say 'excuse me' any younger and it's easier to deal with them and then carry on with conversation

YANBU it annoys me too - i mean "hellooooooo!"

Kids are generally demanding of attention in my opinion. Young ones, anyway. Deal with it.

The kids should wait - regardless of age- until the sentence has been finished (not the whole conversation)- too much pandering to our kids imo

So it is polite to ignore an 18mo?

I am surprised by that...

I would feel really mean ignoring DD or telling her to piss off.

The 18mo is hardly gonna realise they are being ignored for a second or two and they all (all kids!) need to be taught to wait i think. It stands them in good stead for when they go to school.

CS

I don't think people should be having important adult conversation for hours on end and ignoring young children. Most mums will have lots of 1 to 1 time with a young child, and then maybe have an adult friend pop in and the child should be able to entertain themselves for a little while.

Obviously if you are sat all day in the pub chatting to your friends all day and ignoring your child, that is unreasonable.

But most children over 2 should not need, or really desire constant adult attention, in my opinion.

I find this most annoying when I am on the phone.

I have a friend who phones me, then spends the next 20 minutes having a chat to her 5 year old son, who suddenly needs something, like they always do whenver Mum is on the phone.

I'm afraid I tell my children to come back later if I'm on the phone. They have to learn to wait.

I don't agree with indulging them every time they open their mouth, or waiting until after dark to have adult conversations!

stillenacht so when I am talking to DH or a friend or whoever if DD toddles up to show me something it is best to ignore her?

I'm not sure what she would do TBH - she is very good and very patient - maybe I will try ignoring her tomorrow and see how she reacts.

Should I tell DH to ignore her when she approaches him as well?

This will teach her good manners - yes?

Oh thank goodness someone found a way to reply to that post saying it was rude to exclude a child from adult conversation cos I'm afraid I was about to go off on one.

FGS!

You don't have to ignore your toddler. You can say 'Mummy's talking', but let her know it will be her turn in a minute.

I think questions like this have no right or wrong answers...it just highlights the different ways we deal with our children and their and our needs.

But in the time it takes to say "mummys talking" I might as well say "yes very nice" which will be the end of it anyway.

I suppose it would teach her to get used to people being dismissive of her - that may be a useful life skill - if I just turn and bark "mummy's talking" at her whenever she tries to get my attention!