to expect mothers not to break off an adult conversation mid sentence because their dc has just toddled up...

[Fairynufff]

It usually happens in the middle of some really deep life crisis/personal revelation and then a child will toddle up (not an emergency) and the mother will just start cooing at the child about the toy/biscuit/whatever the child is waving around! Hello? We were in a conversation here...

So how do/did you deal with a toddler who needs attention during a conversation with another adult?

I'm a bit bemused by this. If I ignore DS there is no chance of a conversation. If I deal with him then it's a few seconds broken conversation and then we pick up and carry on. All my friends with kids the same age do this, I'm not quite sure how I'm expected to ignore DS and hold a conversation with no breaks with a small child around. It's the nature of the beast.

I think that the other adult ought not to see it as rudeness to them at all.

YABVU talking to adult, child speaks, break off convo to deal with child for less than a minute, resume adult conversation

or 10 min+ of screaming, bawling and attention seeking, I know which one I prefer

It depends on the age of the child. I would say as a rough guide, that a child over 2 should be responded to, but reminded that it was rude to interrupt adult conversation. A 3 year old should just be told off for interrupting, unless they are in real need. My ds started school (nursery section) at 3 years and 2 months; he already knew about sitting quietly, not interrupting adults etc. How do these children who have been led to believe it's all about them cope at school? Maybe they don't go.

I'm not talking about toddlers who need attention.

What do you want , the mother to ignore her child so you can have all her attention?

ds does this a lot, and I always ask him politely to wait until I have finished talking to whoever.
Unless of course its urgent

Thank you MillyR. My thoughts exactly.

yabu

it is hard learning that you are only the star of your own movie......

MillyR - actually, children who are used to getting appropriate responses from adults generally cope very well at school/in group environments. Those that don't get appropriate responses from adults develop inappropriate attention-seeking behaviour traits in self-defence that are much harder for teachers to deal with.

But how is interrupting someone else's conversation appropriate?

Bloody hell, we'll have children should be seen and not heard statements soon. If I told my DC not to interupt all the time - they would never get a word in edgeways.

I'm with Anna. Can't believe that any of my friends think twice when I do this. I certainly don't think twice when they do it to me.

naturalbornmum there are plenty of times I ignore my childrens' unimportant interruptions because another adult is talking. Children can survive without every whim being attended to at that exact second.

i do understand this. one friend in particular will ask personal, serious questions requiring quite in-depth answers then coo at and play with her baby while i'm answering. i don't mind the cooing and playing - i've generally got ds2 with me too, who's the same age - but i just don't get why she asks the q if she's not interested in the answer... [humph]

and yes it may be self-obsessed but i'm on mat leave and don't get much adult interaction

PW

Surely people make friends with people who have similar ideas about child rearing? I don't think there is a right/wrong way (other than actual abuse). We all value different qualities in adults and bring our children up accordingly, and it helps if your close friends have a similar ethos to your own.

Yes Milly, agree with that.

asicsgirl - thank you, you got the point of my OP. I don't mind being interrupted 9/10 times, it's just the times when the conversation gets interesting and the interruption is for no particular reason. I was having a deep conversation with another mum at time of real isolation once and she just broke off and started asking her ds what egg cup he wanted with his boiled egg!

fairy - I sometimes ignore mine too - just not all the time.

MillyR - I totally disagree - I fine that I choose friends for them and not their parenting styles therefore I have very different views to some of them.

fairy - I sometimes ignore mine too - just not all the time.

MillyR - I totally disagree - I fine that I choose friends for them and not their parenting styles therefore I have very different views to some of them.

I love children who expect adults to be interested in and respond to them. And I know just how those children have been brought up - from birth . Obviously, as children get older, they can learn to wait longer for a response from an adult. But toddlers? They have no sense of time - they are not developmentally able to have one. So they need a response as soon as they ask for one.

Fairynuff - I think you were probably boring the other mother rigid if she preferred talking about an egg cup...

I duly accept from the replies that I am BU I will take a even deeper breath next time it happens... Thank you for your interesting replies as that was my first post.

BonsoirAnna - I think that is really my secret fear!

LOL.

You are very gracious in defeat.