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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I don't think I am but here goes

312 replies

TheLadyEvenstar · 07/01/2009 22:29

DS1 has opportunity to go on a school journey. I was in 2 minds about letting him go mainly because there is going to be 6 chalets each with 5 children in and 1 chalet with 4 members of staff in.

Now it comes out that the price which is £350 does not apply to the 3 sets of twins in the class they have to pay £350 for the 2 rather than £700.

DS1 really wants to go so i have said to him IF the twins are both going and only paying for one then I will be telling the school that I will pay half the price as what is good for 1 (or in this case 6 with it being 3 sets of twins) is good for all.

Am I being unreasonable to expect the price to be the same for all???

OP posts:

StealthPo09IsHere · 08/01/2009 20:01

"Last year, dd's class (year 4) went on a trip to Cornwall. It was v expensive. About 6m before they actually went, we had a note home saying that as it was so expensive they were going to charge slightly over the actual cost in order to cover for the children whose families couldn't afford it. I thought that was fine. In fact, quite a few paid more than the actual inflated price, to ensure that no one was left out. "

Wow you are a lot more generous and gracious than I would be! That note seems an incredibly pompous way of being generous with other people's money!

AntiqueIceCream · 08/01/2009 20:02

YABU.

Decide if you want your son to go, decide if you can pay for your son. If you can',t ask the school for financial help, they often give it.

Stop worrying what everyone else is doing and getting, it looks small minded.

pointydog · 08/01/2009 20:02

ANy reduction in cost should be allocated according to need.

However, I would not tell teh school Ill only pay half. That would be daft.

deepinlaundry · 08/01/2009 20:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wotulookinat · 08/01/2009 20:10

Maybe the school has divided the cost per family, and then asked parents of twins to pay a (small) bit extra. It's a long shot, but it might make you feel better if you think of it that way.

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 08/01/2009 20:19

Wotu, how could that be when the parents ofthe twins are paying only £350 for 2 children?

OP posts:

Technofairy · 08/01/2009 20:28

"but as this woman brings in more money in a week than dp and I, how does she qualify for assistance and we don't?"

Sigh

Because she can prove to the school that she's on benefits - a single parent on a very low income. A letter from the DWP is all she'll need to show. The school probably has no idea how much she's raking in on the side - and even if they did the letter from DWP will still say she's on benefits and the school will feel obliged to help with the cost. Presumably you and your DH aren't on benefits so she will take priority over you when it comes to assistance.

So now that her fraud has actually had a negative impact on you personally rather than just as a tax payer you might feel more inclined to report the thieving cow!

wotulookinat · 08/01/2009 20:31

how could what be?

TWINSETinapeartree · 08/01/2009 20:31

I am sorry LES but this whole thread is a snipe and I would certainly try and calm down before going into shool.

I am sorry that you can't afford it there is nothing worse that your child going without because of a lack of money.

I do find it a bit odd tbh that you know exactly how much this woman has coming in. I don't have a clue about the finances of other people at dd school.

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 08/01/2009 20:32

Techno,
Actually we are or rather were on benefits before he started work Monday just gone.

OP posts:

PottyCock · 08/01/2009 20:33

my first deleted post!

I'm a bit bemused by that, but do stand by everything I've said

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 08/01/2009 20:34

Twin as i said our children were always together and also she has no problem in letting everyone know what she is doing and earning.

OP posts:

Technofairy · 08/01/2009 20:43

Well I can only assume then that she has the trump card, so to speak, of being on benefits but having twins wanting to go on the same expensive trip. Sadly she'll still take priority over you in the school's assistance scheme. They could possibly expect someone in those circumstances to pay for one but not two at the same time.

But just think how satisfied you'll be when she's having to repay all that benefit she fraudulently obtained on top of a fine. It'll be a lot more than £350!

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 08/01/2009 20:48

techno lol i think it is awful she does it and would not be happy at someone elses misfortune...I just find it annoying that she a benefit fraud gets assistance and yet we who are honest have got to find the full amount while she doesn't.

OP posts:

nametaken · 08/01/2009 20:48

Yes, have you reported her yet, using that link? If not, why not?

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 08/01/2009 20:52

nametaken I did so this morning. Thankyou for the link.

OP posts:

nametaken · 08/01/2009 21:00

Well done, it must have taken a lot of guts to do that. What about the parents of the other twins, or don't you even wanna go there

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 08/01/2009 21:02

Name i did say earlier in this thread that they work...legally for all i know lol. One is on maternity leave atm. But even they have paid for one and not both.

OP posts:

Technofairy · 08/01/2009 21:03

Don't think of it as misfortune luv - it's her own silly bloody fault, all completely self inflicted. And yes it is extremely unfair on you and the other honest families and parents which is why I can't believe that she is so thick skinned to brag about it in front of everybody.

And those parents paying her for the school run need to have a very serious think. She's basically operating an unlicensed taxi service (she's charging a fare for a journey not asking for a contribution for petrol) and therefore probably won't have the right - or any! - insurance should anything unfortunate ever happen. The council taxi licensing people could probably do her as well for all sorts - shouldn't she have a CRB check too?? Report her to them as well!

Very pleased to hear you used the link. Blimey - I sound like some sort of anti-fraud evangelist! I'm a nice, caring person really. Honest

pointydog · 08/01/2009 21:05

ahh, hang on. It is means tested then. You just don't agree with the method.

In that case, yabu.

TWINSETinapeartree · 08/01/2009 21:20

LES I acknowledge that you said above that you know what this lady earns becuase she told you, I find that odd. It would never enter my head to just randomly tell people what I earn.

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 08/01/2009 21:35

Pointy, the point is she is no more needy than I am in fact probably less needy. Someone said we look well off well I wouldn't say that, we have lived on benefits since August as DP was made redundant and looking for a job which he started Monday. She has been "raking" it in left right and centre....and reaping the rewards of a deprived family when actually she is not.

I am not saying we are poor but we have had a few months struggle. I would like ds1 to go but we cannot afford it. when I have already been to see this teacher and explained the situation to be offered 4 monthly installments, which tbh did not help us. Now I have an issue with her getting help and the other 2 sets of twins as well. If i had 2 children in the top 2 classes i would be expected to pay for both of them. But because they have 2 in the same class it is not expected.

And she is not a single parent either she has a working husband and grown up son.

MIND you I can book a family holiday for the same if not less.... and we can all go away.

Twin, I am not in the habit of discussing what dp earns either so it does kind of make me take a step back and wonder why she does this.

OP posts:

willitbeahappynewyear · 08/01/2009 21:47

Is the main reason you are annoyed because if your DH hadnt just got a job,you might be eligable for some discount? Typical,isnt it?

willitbeahappynewyear · 08/01/2009 21:48

Sorry, DP.

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 08/01/2009 21:48

Willit actually i spoke to the said member of staff in November and DP had no job then, but we still didn't fit the bill

OP posts:

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