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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I don't think I am but here goes

312 replies

TheLadyEvenstar · 07/01/2009 22:29

DS1 has opportunity to go on a school journey. I was in 2 minds about letting him go mainly because there is going to be 6 chalets each with 5 children in and 1 chalet with 4 members of staff in.

Now it comes out that the price which is £350 does not apply to the 3 sets of twins in the class they have to pay £350 for the 2 rather than £700.

DS1 really wants to go so i have said to him IF the twins are both going and only paying for one then I will be telling the school that I will pay half the price as what is good for 1 (or in this case 6 with it being 3 sets of twins) is good for all.

Am I being unreasonable to expect the price to be the same for all???

OP posts:
AlexanderPandasmum · 09/01/2009 09:45

YANBU in my opinion. Although this woman did not 'ask' for twins, that is not a solid argument as many people did not 'ask' for their single children (as in unplanned pregnancies). It must be very grating to hear her bragging on about money she is earning and claiming. She deserves to have someone 'dob her in'.

And I couldn't believe that some people thought the teachers should pay!! The reason why the parents have to subsidise the teachers is because they are the ones doing the childcare while they are on the trip. The teachers usually won't get paid any extra for being on the trip and have to volunteer - if they didn't do this there would be no trip! The reason they do it is not for a 'holiday' but because they want to give these opportunities to their pupils but some people are clearly so ungrateful I am wondering why they bother .

HSMM · 09/01/2009 09:54

Yes twins are expensive, but why should all the other parents pay for the 2nd twin?

rosbif · 09/01/2009 10:10

I have twins and wouldn't dream of taking up such an offer; if you have two children you should pay the full rate per child imo. It is not fair to penalise the others.

MilaMae · 09/01/2009 10:59

I have twins and another unplanned a year later the 2 are not the same. My dd inherited eveything from the boys. With twins every single thing from lunch boxes to bikes have to be bought in 2s and it can be a struggle.

My mum kindly offered to pay for my dtwin's 1st school trip as at nearly £10 each it was pretty pricey(or so I thought,dreading the years ahead £350)

We're lucky enough to have a pre-school that gives a small reduction for extras.It's in their interest as we wouldn't do them at all if they didn't and they wouldn't run. My 3 and another 3 the same ages mean loosing 6 lots of fees. Nobody else has ever had a problem with this.

I think the school are being very supportive and understanding,having 3 sets of twins in one year they are obviously experienced in handling multiples. The only twin mums who don't think so must be the loaded ones who can obviously afford £700 for a school trip.

HappyMummyOfOne · 09/01/2009 14:22

OP, YANBU. Why should other parents suuplement the cost of other children going? Its simply not fair.

That said, I dont the school should have to subsidise a trip away for any child. Day trips in school time that are educational maybe the odd occasion for struggling parents but not holidays.

Having twins is not that different to having two close together or different sexes no passing items on etc.

naturalbornmum · 09/01/2009 15:46

I am finding this whole I have twins so I should be subsidised slightly annoying. Yes, no one plans for having twins but everyone knows it is a possibility when getting pregnant. I have 2 and 1 on the way and have to find money for 2 of lots of things as well, 2 pairs of shoes, clothes, entrance fees etc. I would be very cross if I was OP.

willitbeahappynewyear · 09/01/2009 17:14

I have twins and do not expect to be subsidised but it is not something you plan for. My two are identical and seem to need everything at the same time. It never entered my head I would be having twins after 5 years of trying for a second child. I would never have chosen to have 3 children. That is the difference between having children of different ages. It would never enter my head,though, that I would get BOGOF on school trips!

deepinlaundry · 09/01/2009 17:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

deepinlaundry · 09/01/2009 17:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

willitbeahappynewyear · 09/01/2009 18:08

Dont believe in unplanned pregnancies. You know if you could have got pregnant or not. Thats what the morning after pill is for.

Katiestar · 09/01/2009 18:50

Of cours they should have to pay £700.They are not 2 halves of the same person !They take up 2 places.It's a total no-brainer.
How is the other £ 350 being funded ? I know on a post on another website a school bursar said it was unlawful to load the cost of school trips with a share of those who weren't paying ?

OHBollox · 09/01/2009 19:03

Hmm so what happened to the no child will be prevented from going on a school trip policy that most schools seem to have, shouldn't every child be able to go weather the parents contribute or not ?
For what it's worth I do think people who have twins should be cut some slack for godness sake 1/3 of all pregnancies aren't planned so how the hell you'd financially plan for twins or more I don't know, life just isn't like that.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 09/01/2009 19:12

TBH £350 seems very steep especially if they can allow 6 children to go for the price of 3. Going on the calculations of 28 children paying full price and 3 going free the school are reckoning the trip costs £9800. OK I know it includes food, travel and accomadation but.........

OP posts:
BoffinMum · 09/01/2009 19:15

No you don't NewYear. I had a catastrophic multiple contraceptive failure once, and had no idea what was going on until it was too late for the morning after pill and a lot of other options for that matter (I had other health problems at the time). All worked out OK in the end, but walk a mile in another woman's moccasins please, before passing judgement.

BoffinMum · 09/01/2009 19:15

No you don't NewYear. I had a catastrophic multiple contraceptive failure once, and had no idea what was going on until it was too late for the morning after pill and a lot of other options for that matter (I had other health problems at the time). All worked out OK in the end, but walk a mile in another woman's moccasins please, before passing judgement.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 09/01/2009 19:16

OH that policy is applied to day trips only in the school ds1 goes to.

OP posts:
OHBollox · 09/01/2009 19:31

Well it would be only day trips mine would be going on then, I have to say I hope the school don't make that information available to other parents I'd hate to think other people were bitching about me behind my back and questioning my contraceptives because we shall no doubt be asking for help come the summer.
And I now that's different from the OP's situation with the twin mother boasting.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 09/01/2009 19:37

Oh< i am the OP

OP posts:
Stefka · 09/01/2009 19:37

YANBU. I do have every sympathy for anyone who has to pay for twins but it isn't the fault of every other parent in the class who also may have several children that they are needing to pay out for. It's a shame that teh school can't find another way to help the parents of the twins out.

Clarissimo · 09/01/2009 19:42

I think there should be plans in place so that kids from famillies where there are financial issues can get help. There isn't at our school and no all-kids-can-go policy. If a school has a PTA they should be first port of call for the making up of funding I think (and yes, I am on the PTA LOL efore I get that one!)

School trips are mainly of the £5 - £20 variety ime. Museum, cinema,- they should be there for all. the holiday ones are another thing entirely: some can go some cannot. Some won't want to. I don't remember more than 70% going on any residential at all, let alone the trips abroad.

OHBollox · 09/01/2009 19:46

TBH I went on a three day trip at 11 with the school and there were fights, bad behaviour, bullying, cliques etc etc it was fecking awful I'm in no hurry to send mine on those things even if money wasn't an issue.
I might stretch to ski ing cos I hate it but anything else including £3k trips are not on the menu here, if i'm paying that sort of money I expect to see the happy (appreciative) little faces.

magicfarawaytree · 09/01/2009 19:51

yanbu - i have a really close age gap between my three so often it is two sets or 3 sets at the same time. The school should be able to negotiate a better rate with the holiday company if they want to subsidise multiples.

magicfarawaytree · 09/01/2009 19:53

of costs that is. and we will really get hammered on the height thing but dont even get me started on that one....

nula · 09/01/2009 23:30

if you can't afford a trip, you don't go, surely? ANd you don't expect anyone else to pay. Jolly kind if they do tho.

In P5 most of my class ( of about 32 kids) went on a short plane trip. It cost 12 shillings and my mum did nt have that sort of money to spare.

Three kids including me did not go due to not being able to afford it. It was no big deal. We got to read books all afternoon instead of doing proper lessons.I don't appear to have suffered any long term trauma!

dsrplus8 · 10/01/2009 00:22

willitbe ....there are unplanned pregnancies(most of mine lol), but no unplanned babies.if you found yourself pregnant and didnt want to be u'd either have a termination, or put baby up for adoptionfor birth mum, for new adoptive parents,(sorry mixed bag that one).

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