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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Thank you letter shock horror

103 replies

trulyscrumptious43 · 06/01/2009 13:00

My dad has sent an arsey letter to my daughter (age 16) complaining that she hasn't sent a xmas thank you letter to him yet. Bear in mind we left home on the night of the 27th for France and got back at 10pm last night. We were out in the sticks (le foret, indeed)for 8 days with no post or internet. The thank you letters were about to get written this week!
In addition to this sweetness, he has complained that she and her 11yr brother didn't get him the present he was expecting (a small diary). I had forgotten that was what he expected and we had got him 2 lovely big books instead, which he had told me on the phone on boxing day that he really liked.
So he has gone and bought himself a diary - and put the reciept for it into my daughter's letter, saying that she might like to reimburse him! And he signed off, Disappointed Grandad.
Is it me?

OP posts:
NAB3lovelychildren · 06/01/2009 13:01

No, but it isn't really him either. That's how things were done in his day.

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 06/01/2009 13:01

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WhereTheWiseMenWent · 06/01/2009 13:02

How rude!

Lizzylou · 06/01/2009 13:02

He's a charmer.

ComeWhineWithMe · 06/01/2009 13:02

thats terrible ,I still haven't done mine but would go mad if my dc had a letter like that.

PuppyMonkey · 06/01/2009 13:02

Nab3 I would be very surprised about that!

Hangingbellyofbabylon · 06/01/2009 13:03

of course it's him - expecting thank you letters is one thing but to request one is exremely poor etiquette, as is including the receipt for the diary!

sasamaxx · 06/01/2009 13:03

Did he know that you were out of the country?

Sycamoretree · 06/01/2009 13:03

Christ alive - has he ever behaved like this in the past?

Sounds like someone is feeling very sorry for himself and has decided to push the buttons of those most likely to respond - i.e the children in his life.

How very sad. If he's not usually this much of an idiot, it might be worth talking to him about why he's acting out in this way. Is he lonely - feeling unloved for some reason?

noonki · 06/01/2009 13:03

Where the hell is his thank you letterm surely you should say thanks for whatever you are given and not expect to get things.

what a rude man.

Winehouse · 06/01/2009 13:03

No, it's him - that's really rude. Did your dd speak to him during the Boxing Day phone call?

In your dad's shoes I can imagine not understanding how she couldn't get a message to him before now, but to send her a receipt for something you forgot he wanted is not acceptable, I think.

ComeOVeneer · 06/01/2009 13:04

NAb that most certainly is not how things were done ever. He is being incredibly rude.

mumoverseas · 06/01/2009 13:04

bizarre, a grown man acting like a toddler.
agree with Reality.
BTW, did he send a thank you letter for his books along with his whingy letter and receipt?

Ingles2 · 06/01/2009 13:04

he's sent your dd a receipt !!!!!!!
OMG...
what did he get you all? was it what you wanted? if not, get out there quick, buy the most expensive and sent him the receipt.
Cheeky and rude

sasamaxx · 06/01/2009 13:04

Even if he didn't know you were out of the country, it's still a bit...well, uptight...

trulyscrumptious43 · 06/01/2009 13:06

Yes he did know that we were away
Yes he is known for being a bit grumpy - and now has gout to add to his burden
But I love him very much and don't want to get into an angry exchange.
My poor daughter was most bewildered and put off, she's always been close to him as she hasn't got a dad.

OP posts:
Ingles2 · 06/01/2009 13:06

why don't you ask him to send the books back as they weren't what he wanted?

trulyscrumptious43 · 06/01/2009 13:08

My sis says I should send the £2.99 for the diary and ask for the books back
Of course I wouldn't lower myself, but stil...

OP posts:
sasamaxx · 06/01/2009 13:08

Can you pretend to DD that it was a joke? (to spare her feelings)

Ingles2 · 06/01/2009 13:08

x post.
Aah.. well you better send him a note explaining the circumstances and how upset your dd is. Remind him, throwing a present back in someone's face is extremely rude and ungrateful.

trulyscrumptious43 · 06/01/2009 13:09

BTW he did give us nice presents, tokens etc for the girls and lego for the boy.

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flibertyplus2 · 06/01/2009 13:09

He sounds like a horrible man.

beanieb · 06/01/2009 13:09

that is NOT how it was done in his day - it's beyond rude to put a receipt into the letter. What a horrible thing to do!

pagwatch · 06/01/2009 13:10

He is really rude.
But don't rise to it.

Send him thank yous with covering note saying 'of course you can't have realised we only got back on x - and I am returningthis receipt which you cannot possibly intended to have enclosed. Because that would be staggeringly rude and I know how important manners are to you.

And next year buy him pile cream from your DD and explain she just misunderstood what everyone says about him (is not has a pain in the arse)

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 06/01/2009 13:10

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