Thank you letter shock horror

[trulyscrumptious43]

My dad has sent an arsey letter to my daughter (age 16) complaining that she hasn't sent a xmas thank you letter to him yet. Bear in mind we left home on the night of the 27th for France and got back at 10pm last night. We were out in the sticks (le foret, indeed)for 8 days with no post or internet. The thank you letters were about to get written this week!
In addition to this sweetness, he has complained that she and her 11yr brother didn't get him the present he was expecting (a small diary). I had forgotten that was what he expected and we had got him 2 lovely big books instead, which he had told me on the phone on boxing day that he really liked.
So he has gone and bought himself a diary - and put the reciept for it into my daughter's letter, saying that she might like to reimburse him! And he signed off, Disappointed Grandad.
Is it me?

and do not send the money for the diary! get her to send a thank you letter and leave it at that. I am just gobsmacked at how rude that is!

Excellent!

He's always been a mardy old git but he's my dad x

I can't imagine tolerating someone treating my daughter like that. I would not let this go, it is unacceptable. So for your poor daughter.

is he going senile? sometimes old(er) people do odd things because their wee minds are going to mush, sorry but mabey hes ill? you'll know what hes like, if this is out of the ordinary id get him to a doctor. if hes just an arse ,you have my sympathy!

I meant in his day it was polite to write thank you notes quickly. Not the other stuff!

He sounds like an emotionally abusive type.

perhaps you could reply and say that he didn't buy you the tiffany necklace you really wanted...
what a nob

so hes an arse then? well send him a thank you letter for being a prize twat to your dd! remember include a leaflet for a local old folks home.

Actually I got a reminder for the TY letter about the same time last yr, (We'd been away again, same time frame).
Hell, i'm just slack!

Next year you should do a proforma thank you letter, ready to be completed and printed on the day and posted on 26th.

Haven't done our ones yet.

Message withdrawn

Good grief!

I would ask dd to write a letter along the lines of "aplogies for not sending a thank you letter quickly enough and sorry that this has upset you, it was not possible to post letters from xxxx and we only got home last night (date).
Lots of love
xxxx

Do not send a thank you letter and do not send money for the diary.

Is he very sad and lonely, and can't cope with the fact that you have all left after visiting, so hangs on the letterbox hoping fo the next communication?

The diary receipt bit is way beyond usual behaviour - if he hasn't always been like this, something is pushing him to an irrational response - what do you think it is?

Any signs of diabetes or dementia?

truly - around Easter time send him a thank ypou for next christmas present (or presents) assuming sent and received, regardless of value and without prejudice to any additional gifts or goods sent and recieved during the intervening months.

Send them on Christmas eve this year... then he'll have no excuse

Arsewipe - how bloody rude

My DD has written all her thank you letters, but I have to confess that I have not delivered them all yet. Do you think anyone will be upset?

My father is just as bad, expect that he expects thank you letters for birthday cards (no present mind). It's just needy, and should not be pandered to imo as it merely passes the same crap down to the next generation. Also your father is scuppering his chances of having a semi-decent relationship with his grandchildren, which is sad.

I like pag's suggestions and the pilecream best, I think

Seriously, he sounds like he a getting a bit senile or depressed- can you explain that to your daughter and cheer her up with pag's idea among others?

If you are certain there is no dementia/medical reason for this...

Then I would send a letter back saying:

Dear Grandad,
I am sorry that I didn't send a thank you letter sooner. The reason for this is that I was in xxxx. Please find enclosed the money for your diary.
Grandaughter

[In case anyone was wondering, this is supposed to be passive aggressive - he should feel like a prick receiving a ridiculous amount of money from his grandaughter].

Or, actually, I don't know if passive aggressive would be good enough for me in this situation - I might instead write a note saying "FUCK YOU" in red letters across his original.

(can i be really nosy adn ask if you stayed in a litlte hamlet called La Foret in Burgundy?)

loving the pilecream!lol. next year give the oldyin something utterly crap for crimbo, like a wrapped oxo cube. Or better still a book on manners and ettiqute.underline in highlighter the section on thankyou notes!

ooh oooh.
Send him thank you notes as his gift next year.
Oh the irony would be fab !

He has just been diagnosed diabetic and lives with his partner of 18 years who is a particularly foul specimen of womanhood- she gives dragons a bad name.

She usually sends some kind of present along with or on behalf of my dad, normally something gold, Dallas-esque tacky and totally unsuitable for my daughter. DD always responds graciously (as her mother had taught her) before donating the item back into the charity shop chain, which is where we know that it has come from. Otherwise she gives sosmething which has been widely advertised as free gift in a magazine or similar.

A few years back she gave me an M&S jumper which was too large. I took it into exchange it and couldn't find one on the shelf. I chose something else and when the assistant scanned the returning jumper she said 'I'm sorry madam, we sold this item 9 years ago'.
I was a little bit embarassed but far wiser to my 'stepmother's 'generous' ways.

So this keeps me feeling slightly sorry for dad. By the way, they are not poor, more like 'upper' middle class.