to believe that teacher's children should be treated in the same way as other pupils

[MillyR]

At my children's primary school, there are a number of teachers working in the school who have children who are pupils in the school and sometimes even in their class. I believe that unless it is essential (because you live on a remote Scottish island), you should not teach your own child as it is unprofessional and almost impossible not to show a preference for your own child and the children that they get on with.

I work 10-7, so I do the morning drop off by public transport. I then stand outside school with my children, sometimes in very unpleasant weather. The children who come on school transport are also stood outside unsupervised. The teacher's children can be clearly seen playing in the classrooms.

Recently, I arranged to go in and speak to a teacher about my child after school, which I then had to take time off work to do. During this meeting, her children were in the classroom. There have also been times when one of teachers has walked past me with her daughters, the older daughter's best friend, and they have all gone in to play in the classroom while the rest of the children had to stay outside. They are also often in the staff room or using other school facilities that are out of bounds to other pupils.

There is out of school club available in a building nearby. My children go to it after school. I think the teacher's children should also have to go to it or wait outside like everyone else.

If a teacher wants to part of her work at home and supervise her kids there, then I am not going to moan about that. But I think it creates a bad atmosphere and sense of unfairness for pupils to be treated differently because their Mum is a teacher.

There is also a huge amount of repeating of confidential information because the teachers tell their friends things, but their friends are the mums from school!

AIBU or is this common?

I think it happens sometimes because TAs do get awfully low wages and they sometimes have to sit in the classroom of s crap teacher knowing they earn 3 times as much as them. I can totally get tha tbh.

But most teachers are not crap and tbh most TAs do not obsess over colleagues childcare arrangements.

I'm a teacher who has taken a salary cut of £8000 a year to be able to drop my DTs at school and pick them up (this is cheaper than paying for child care) because teaching is such an inflexible job - you can't work from home, can't work evenings, can't take time off. I think begrudging teachers an hour or so in the mronign when they are in school working, outside contracted hours, is pretty petty

I thnk teaching does have some flexibility in working hours compared to other jobs. After 3.30, many can choose whether to carry on working till 4,5 or 6 or whether to work in teh evening instead.

£5K paydrop here just so I can have time occasionally to put dd to bed.

But again I am not moaning, as with lots of professions being in management is difficult to balance with family commitments.

You can work from home though ducky I would say I do about 1/3 of my work at home if not more.

I agree pointy

I agree about flexibility to an extent pointy, but not in terms of school run times, where other professions can opt to start later/finish earlier/work compacted week/day etc

People who work in shops go for the time they are paid for, unless it is there own shop. I have never known a Tesco employee say they are going in an hour before their shift to sort things out! When my DS was in hospital there were 2 teachers on the ward, the hospital staff were always amazed that they were there more than an hour before their job started.

It depends on which school you work in. I've worked in several where it was assumed most staff would be in until 5.00. I've never worked in a school where teachers clocked off at 3.30 on a regular basis.

prep adn marking from home yes twinset, that I had taken as read! But not the hands on day to day work

same here MilaMae, my current school allows 2 early finishes a week (3pm) the other 3 days are 815 starts and 5pm finishes for all full timers

I havent either mila but if you need to whizz of at 3.30 you could do. On accasions I have whizzed of at 3.30 to collect dd and then bought her back into work. I have also had to sometimes nip of at 5.20 to collect dd and bring her back into work. She has then had to sit in my classroom and do her homework with a ready meal for tea. She has then stayed with me until half seven and gone straight home to bed. It was not regular but often enough for us as a family to decide that things have to change.

But every proffession has a core day when you have to be there.

of course it does - which is the point we are both trying to make I think, that if you are there outside your core day it shouldn't be a problem to have your DCs there

I was a teacher (secondary). I quit after having DD and the workload and stresses got the better of me. I went to work in a prison instead - easier DD was not at school back when I taught but I still used to take her in on occasion if I needed to be there when nursery wasn't open and MIL couldn't have her early enough. It was never a problem - wasn't in work time so no issue for anyone.

I have for the past couple of terms been working voluntary 3 days a week as a TA in DD's primary school. I sometimes needed to get in early so DD came in early with me. She would help me and her teacher sort things out, or sit quietly reading. Once she was allowed outside without me being there (15 minutes before school starts) she generally went out, although not always. Again was never an issue.

I am about to start working as a TA in a local primary tomorrow (new job - eek). Why a TA? Don't think proper teaching is family friendly enough for whaat I want at the moment. I just don't want the workload and stress anymore. As a teacher I did so much extra work in my own time - way more than DH ever did/does as a solicitor - and he is now a partner and earning around 5 times more that I did as a teacher!

I'm a teacher and my dcs are up at 6.20am so they can be dropped off at nursery/CM at 7.30am so we can be in school between 8-8.15. They are then collected between 4.30-5.30pm. Particularly for 4 yr old ds who now goes to school, that is a long day.

yep, sounds like the norm, heated

I think to be a successful teacher on top of your game your partner needs to take a back seat career wise or find a job that pays well but does not require much in the way of extra hours.

Our family life has been transformed since dp started working from home and reduced his hours. That means that during the week I am a teacher and tbh a crap parent but at least she gets a dedicated parent from him

Family friendly? Woman's work? I don't think so.
Dh and I are both teachers - we juggle childcare between us, have ds up at 6.30 so that we can leave him at the childminder's to be at work for 8. He is there until 5 o'clock most evenings, and when we both have extra meetings sometimes, hopefully the other one can cover, but too often stuff happens on the same night, and then the childminder has him for an extra 1 or 2 hours. Childminder fees per month cost us way more than our mortgage.
Spring/summer terms are a nightmare in terms of workload and there are times when the pair of us are extremely ratty and sniping at each other because we've worked until 10/11 o'clock most nights. They're the times when poor ds gets scant attention.
Holidays for me are time to 'pay back' ds and be full time mummy, as I work in primary, but dh works in FE and only has 7 weeks.
I have adored these Christmas holidays - ds was 3 on the 21st and has loved Christmas. I love my job but I hate going back at this time of year.
I would not send my ds to my school because I don't think it would be fair on him - you have to be a certain kind of person to not over-interfere with your child's behaviour or your colleagues teaching, and I am not that person!
But I do have many colleagues who have children at our school - in fact, the headteacher's daughter is in my class! - none of them would dream of having their children sit in on a parents' meeting.
r.e children in classrooms though - I have never heard such pettiness on the subject in my whole career as some of the stuff on this thread.

colleagues'

I agree Feenie. I no longer work full time-I love the job but the workload is too heavy. I can't believe that anyone would resent the teacher's DC being in the classroom early-the DCs do not see it as a perk!

Thanks everyone for commenting. It has helped me think things through.

One of the TAs arrives 5 mins after the bell goes because she drops a child off at another school, and I don't have an issue with that at all, but I realise a teacher could not do the same.

I think that nooka is right and teacher's children being in the school is really symbolic of my wider concerns. One of the teachers (the one who repeats things) has 2 children, one in my son's year and one in my daughter's year, and she wants to teach her own children, so every year for four years (two for my son and two for my daughter) she has taught one of her children, which then mean she is also teaching one of mine. She actually told me she was going to be teaching her younger child and my daughter for a further two years, but then the Head refused so my daughter has a new teacher this year.

She is a nice person, but she gossips, and she doesn't really connect with my children; she is not a bad teacher but just different kids suit different teachers IYSWIM. I feel her always wanting to teach her own children has skewed things for mine.

I don't want to bring up the issue of the kids being in a meeting because that was a different teacher (my son's) who is not responsible for the repeating of things.

And there have been issues and I have not gone been able to talk to the school because of the repeating of things or if I have talked, no action was taken over quite serious matters and I believe that is because children are treated differently depending on if their parent is a teacher/TA/governor/friend of the TAs/ friend of the teacher or just an ordinary parent.

And there some great things about the school, and some really exceptional teachers, and no bad teachers, but IMO it has been poorly managed. And now when one of my children has a problem, I don't tell the school, because it upsets me to go in, and I feel I'm being ineffectual and a poor role model to my kids by not resolving problems.

So it is not really a big issue for me that the teacher's aren't paying to go to the out of school club, it is more that the who is inside (teachers' kids and TA kids and friends) and who is outside before school really represents who is 'in' and who is 'out' for the rest of the school day, as the school bus kids (due to location) are often poorer and the 'out' kids within school.

I would find it odd that anyone wants to teach their own DCs-it sounds as if she wants to HE and get paid for it!

Feenie I really do not know how married teachers cope during term time. I tried to talk dp into training as a teacher so we could have the holidays together , it is a good thing he refused

I love my job as a teacher and would want to do anything else! but some parents complaining about petty things like teacher's children in the classroom before and after school make think why do i bother?

I would much rather my little children were at home until 8.30 in the morning and I stood outside their classroom with them and then went straight home with me after school. Instead they are dragged out before 7.30 and often are not home before 5.30. They can not do extra after school activities because I am school and can not leave early! Parents evening they are sent to who ever will look after them, often split up and kept up late beyond their bed time. So cut them some slack it is not their choice to be a teacher's child. My children hate it.

Sure my life would be so much easier if I wasn't a teacher. In an office or in a shop you can book time off, I wouldn't feel guilty for missing work if i was ill or my children were ill. As it is now I even feel guilty about staying home looking after my own children if they are sick because I worry about my other "30 children" and feel guilty that I am letting "my parents" down!

Why would anyone want to make another working women's life more difficult by complaining that her kids are in the classroom? This country needs more teachers, they are leaving the profession in droves often because it is so hard to be a good parent and a teacher! Would the OP be happier if the teacher is forced to leave her job because she is forced to pay for childcare she doesn't need and her child is taught by a series of supply teachers for the rest of this year.

mumof2dc, I have never complained to the school about the teacher or her children. My husband once asked for my daughter to be let into school off the ice ( he couldn't go into the playground as he is disabled and could not go on the ice) and I couldn't take her because my son was off sick.

But I have never complained to the school about a teacher or their child. I have gone in about serious matters that were not resolved, but I have only ever complained on MN. So I am not making the teacher's life more difficult.

Other people complained about teachers' children using computer facilities etc , and one of the people who complained was a teacher (although that is gossip; I don't know first hand), but I have not complained apart from on MN.