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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be disappointed and quite frankly let down and pissed off with dh for getting me slippers for xmas?!

187 replies

pinktree · 26/12/2008 11:24

Ok so am I or am I being spoilt?

I am angry, 30 wks pregnant and hormonal so don't be too harsh!

Oh and I made a detailed list for him back in November! Although we did only get paid on 20th Dec (Own business,long story, whole other thread!)

I've ordered him to take back everything and he's just gone out now

OP posts:
AuntieMaggie · 26/12/2008 21:04

Me too twinset. As I said somewhere else the best present I had this year is the lovely day I had with my DP yesterday.

I'm hoping to be pregnant this time next year and if the only thing I have to worry about is getting something I don't want from DP then I'll be very happy. In fact I'll want slippers for when I go into hospital to give birth (ewwww to not wearing slippers in hospital).

DP just said if I ever did this to him he'd be taking my engagement ring and wedding ring back too for being so ungrateful.

TWINSETinapeartree · 26/12/2008 21:06

I had no presents this Christmas and it has been one of the best Christmasses I have ever had. Presents are completely incidental to our Christmas it is about Church and family. i recognise not everyone has faith but we all have family.

AuntieMaggie · 26/12/2008 21:15

I'm not particulary religious so no church for me but it's the one time of the year that me and DP have spent together without feeling like we should be doing something else (washing, shopping, etc) and it's been great sitting on the sofa cuddling up with only the tv and christmas tree lights on.

And I turn into my own domestic goddess too cooking lots of lovely food.

TWINSETinapeartree · 26/12/2008 21:16

Same here auntiemaggie

dittany · 26/12/2008 21:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lizzylou · 26/12/2008 21:24

Perhaps because the OP is sounding mightily spoilt?
And because having a baby/raising children does not mean that you can act like an ungrateful brat? There, now, I've said it.
Hormones may have a hand in it all, so am not being too harsh on OP, but Christmas isn't all about gifts.

TWINSETinapeartree · 26/12/2008 21:25

I just think it is not worth causing a scene over, Christmas is not about presents for adults it is for most of us about family being togther not trapsing through shops to replace rejected presents.

dittany · 26/12/2008 21:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TWINSETinapeartree · 26/12/2008 21:29

For children it is part of Christmas , for adults surely it is a tiny part. The only time presents have been a big issue to me was when I was in an unhappy relationship and my Christmas presents were the only thing I had to look forward to over the festive season.

TWINSETinapeartree · 26/12/2008 21:36

I am sure the sanctamonious dig was meant at me and I do not mean to be.

I have said I undestand why the OP feels the way she does.

In the past presents have meant a lot to me, but lack of money now and having a partner who I know adores me have helped me see the light. I really could not care less if I never get another present again. I would care if I could not put good food on the table, I was upset this year to miss midnight mass, I did care that I did not see my extended family. To care about a box of toiletries or yet another gadget seems odd.

ssd · 26/12/2008 21:38

I dream of slippers

pramspotter · 26/12/2008 21:38

YANBU. You are having his baby and he gets you slippers and body scrub? Total crap.

TWINSETinapeartree · 26/12/2008 21:40

What is the going rate for having a baby then? It is her baby too!
If I were lucky enough to be having a baby that would be enough of a luxury for me never to have another christmas present again, I certainly would not need a sweetner from dp

dittany · 26/12/2008 21:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expressoplease · 26/12/2008 21:42

FFS talk about disecting an issue. She said what she wanted, he didin't get it, she sent him back out, he got it, now move down the queue.
Telling a grown women to say 'sorry to DH and not do it again' is pathetic.
You sound like a fecking bunch of stepfordwifes.

expressoplease · 26/12/2008 21:45

DP would be doing you a favour if he's that tight Auntbessie.

NiceShoes · 26/12/2008 21:47

are you fighting?virtual hair pulling and name calling.oi Stepford wife's.hell that's scary

notnowbernard · 26/12/2008 21:48

Am late to the thread

But don't get the 'list' thing

I have never written a list of demands requests/likes for any occasion

Nor have my dc... we have suprises in our house (covers all bases )

tiredsville · 26/12/2008 21:49

Stepford wife's

TWINSETinapeartree · 26/12/2008 21:50

I assumed it was me dittany as I read back my post and thought if you dont know me that could be seen as sanctamonious.

Dp did not make the effort for me as I told him not to, he has spoilt me in other ways though. My dp in the other hand has been working from home and finds our house cold, I therefore bought him some jumpers ( I figured it would stop us falling out over the ever increasing gas bill). Dp knows for me I like to spend my Christmas entertaining friends and family and making good food. I suppose that money that mau have gone on my present would have gone on that. Dp would quite happily go without as well but he did need a few things. Nothing saintly about it at all and I am certainly not selfless.

TWINSETinapeartree · 26/12/2008 21:51

express dp is not happy as his tea has gone down the wrong way and he is now choking after he heard someone called me a stepford wife.

mousehole · 26/12/2008 21:55

This reply has been withdrawn

withdrawn at poster's request

NiceShoes · 26/12/2008 21:55

dont know about stepford wife but i am a lady

TWINSETinapeartree · 26/12/2008 21:57

I usually buy "luxury" gifts or things I know people would not buy themselves. Perhaps money is tight though, I hope dp is not upset that I bought him practical things.

AuntieMaggie · 26/12/2008 22:03

The point was that perhaps he was being thoughtful (as someone else said the OP might regret not having lipbalm and slippers when labour happens) and got it wrong in which case to be "disappointed and quite frankly let down and pissed off" and send your husband out on boxing day to return them is acting a bit spoilt.

And my DP didn't threaten to confiscate my wedding and engagement rings he just said that if I acted so ungrateful because I didn't get what I wanted for christmas and sent him out on boxing day to return my gifts then what is the point? Christmas shouldn't just be about presents. As I've already said, it's about so much more than that and if you let something so small ruin christmas then I think it says more about you and your relationship.

If that's all you have to worry about at christmas I would be very grateful for that alone. I know many people who would be happy if that was all they had to be upset about. 3 years ago I was seriously ill in hospital at christmas and didn't know if I would see another one. It's about spending time with your loved ones not what presents you get or how much money gets spent on you.