to not return to work even though dh wants me to?

[MLAboutToRunOut]

my ml is about to run out, we will be about 200a month short to pay for everything, although i bet there are ways we can cut down.

i do not want to leave my baby and return to work, dh wants me to purely for the oney and the fact we can have nicer holidays etc.

but do you think this is one issue where really only the mother can decide what she wants to do, would it bu if i simply ignored him and did not return to work.
but on the other hand if i did it would only be to please him

yes loud and clear on what you want -what about dh.your posts are very me me

paolo

I know it is a lot - just seem to be crap at getting it any less and we do eat mostly home cooked food.

Did you have any discussion about this at all when (or before) you got pregnant?

Agree - a nice holiday is a luxury that can be put on the back burner for a few years, but you have to meet him at least some of the way I think. I'm a bit confused - I thought you said you were £200 short, but you said there that you were only going to be working for luxuries?

I remember feeling as you do but it did'nt last long TBH. I wanted to go on holidays and by the time my PFB was 18 months I wanted a break from her!

What childcare would you have if you go back?

if you worked evenings surely your baby would have been asleep anyway and DH would be the 'carer' so not like your leaving baby anyway !

It must be the truffles, BabyLove!

paolo

I wish!

well there's lots of other things we could cut back on if cutting the food bill down to 150pound seems unrealistic

like gym membership
sky tv
mobile [mine not dh's]
that should cover it alone.

Start pulling pints in your local!

dh comes home .. you go out.

'tis the only way to do it

theres alot of things we waste money if i am honest

Well speak to Dh and see how he feels then.

Oh! and walk to the gym, touch the door, and walk home.

That's all the exercise you need, and it's FREE.

I bet your DH doesn't want to get rid of Sky.

baby it's a good point you make about wanting to back at 18months i've heard that before, be good if ML was extended till 18 months i bet alot more mothers would return then lol

Agree with Baby. If it's the luxuries then I don't think he'll come to any harm without a gym membership and Sky telly for a while if this is really, really important to you - but I do think you need to take something to the bargaining table in the form of an offer to bring some form of income in.

ok you are considering making unilateral lifestyle decisions for your dh.you need to step back and discuss this before deciding no sky etc.cant you see dh may want some consumer durables,some fripperies after working FT.you may be happy to live frugally,is he

ml what agalch says is right. if one of you has to drop their standard of living to support the other when they don't really want to there will be trouble...

i was fucking furious when dh earned less and i had to work more, i also went from 3 to 4 and now 4.5 days. but i did get promoted

getting rid of sky and cutting down on waste is, making unilateral lifestyle decisions?
not too sure about that tbh

well i'd be pretty startled to come home and find that dh had stopped foodnetwork.

ml what childcare would you have?

is he in agreement?if not - than yes it is your unilateral wishes.

Agree with SM.

Agree that you need to make a joint decision if you want a joint future. Not really a question of being unreasonable, just a question of can you reach a compromise?

Did you not have any discussion before or while you were pregnant about what you would do or how you would cope financially if you didn't go back to work?