To make DS2 clean the entire house?

[MrsSnape]

In the past few months DS2 (7) has:

Kicked a hole in his bedroom door
drawn all over his bedroom door in felt tip/biro
wiped poo on the bathroom wall because he couldn't be bothered to change the bog roll
Dropped endless food on the living room floor.
Spilt drinks all over the sofa
Wiped red paint all over the hallway wall
Riped my leather computer chair because he was 'bored'
Got red 'fake blood' all over DS1's carpet which will not come out
Wiped grubby hands on the sofa instead on going to wash them properly

And just now he had bolognese on his hands and I caught him casually wiping it on living room radiator.

Sick to death of it, he has no respect for anything.

I'm thinking tomorow I will give him so anti-bacterial wipes and send him around the house cleaning from top to bottom. Just like I have to every day.

AIBU?

dsr8plus - I'm impressed. Your family sound as though they are all doing really well.

By 7 years old
Problems may include:

Difficulties in adapting to a structured school routine
Difficulties in Physical Education lessons
Slow at dressing. Unable to tie shoe laces
Barely legible handwriting
Immature drawing and copying skills
Limited concentration and poor listening skills
Literal use of language
Inability to remember more than two or three instructions at once
Slow completion of class work
Continued high levels of motor activity
Hand flapping or clapping when excited
Tendency to become easily distressed and emotional
Problems with co-ordinating a knife and fork
Inability to form relationships with other children
Sleeping difficulties, including wakefulness at night and nightmares
Reporting of physical symptoms, such as migraine, headaches, feeling sick

Just trying to see where dyspraxia causes a child to do all the things mentioned by the OP. Now while I agree some of his behaviour can be attributed to SN the main part of it seems the be a lack of parental guidance (op's own admission)

I have a ds1 who is 10 and through posting on here I have learnt a lot of his issues, for the want of a better word were caused by my inconsistancies. So I am not a perfect parent nor a troll but the OP has admitted she can be slack.

Also she agreed with me about how she see's ds1 as having the sun shining out of every orifice and ds2 is a badly behaved child. If they were treated the same then I reckon some of the ATTENTION seeking behaviour from ds2 would calm down and the OP would be able to see the behaviours which stem from dyspraxia and the ones which were caused by pure attention seeking.

Aam you also contradict yourself, have done a few times. you dont sound like a teacher, your grammer isnt as spot on as i would expect from a member of the education board. lol. i wonder did you teach in the dark ages when no qualifications were required? or did you get your degree from the university of tollington?

Good post, TLES.

Juuule,

I have made my mistakes and some of what the OP has said her ds2 does my ds1 has been guilty of as well. He is not SN, however I know I was at fault on some part as I gave in to him, did it for him etc etc. Since I became more consistant his behaviour has changed and for the better, thats not to say we still don't have an attitude problem BUT we are working on that.

JUUULE - THANX , but of course im a bad mother whos had lots of kids , and sponged off the state between husbands and had no parenting skills to start with of course! lol OP you have posted for advice , so listen too the nice posters who understand that no child comes with a instuction manual and they all need managing differently,ignore the troll and i wish you all the best of luck with your wee boy.x

Because TLES, there are co morbids of this condion.

Your dc Dsr sound like they are doing brilliantly, I think you should be proud (must be careful Im not going to get flamed for arse licking

I do think that Tles is correct in saying that once the unequal treatment of the 2 brothers is addressed then anything related to the dyspraxia might become more easily recognised.

alfiemamagotstuckupthechimney

I understand this condition causes some behaviour but with unfair treatment of 2 siblings in the same household there is bound to be some reaction from one. Therefore that is an issue which needs to be addressed first.

Hmm yes I can agree with that TLES, but the op has thought that her son has been naughty and is at the end of her tether, so must be hard not to favour the other child who is good, as she says all the time.

I maybe wrong and forgive me if I am op, but I just think that the op has a lot on her plate and seems to be on her own, which is why I think she needs to go to the gp for additional help.

I am not saying this is sn probs but what I am saying is I do think it could be connected, I do however feel that there is more to this posting than meets the eye.

It takes a lot of courage to be honest and talk about poo being smeared on the wall.

Hope your ok op

I've got a novel opinion. How about MrsSnapes son has problems which could be down to her parenting style, or could be indicative of a problem. Neither should be dismissed by the other.

Mrs Snape should be encouraged to look at both issues and should be given help and advice if she wants to change her parenting style.

aam - I am not going to join in the debate but I was quite angry at your comment about the "minority of SN"? Really? Its a minority? Or do you have sympathies only for the likes of my DS who will have very visible problems. Some SN are so severe, yet completely 'invisible' - they are still real and deserve the same level of sympathy.

alfiemamagotstuckupthechimney, Thats what I am saying I totally understand where the OP is coming from with regard to the naughtiness, ok not the poo smearing but the rest of it with my ds1. I also got to the point where i was at breaking point and thats 100% honest. However i sat back and looked at what was going on in his life that I could deal with, I had ds2 15m ago and obviously ds1 was feeling left out but i did not see this as contributing to his behaviour, even taking him to a child psychologist. At the end of it all it was ME who could help him change, and believe me this is only a recent thing...a week at most that I can see where I have gone wrong. by me changing in the last few days so has ds1's behaviour, ok i still have some probs with him but hell it can't all change overnight!

Thanks for all the advice and thoughts. I'd love this thread to die a death now to be honest but I know its not my place to ask people to stop posting on it, I however have taken on board the advice given and do not intent to keep reading this.

I really don't like how the spending habits have come up, I mean...really!

The wii was bought from the catalogue, I'm paying it off monthly. The xbox (last year) was bought with money I had saved up ALL YEAR. All of the games but 1 have been bought off ebay very cheaply...

The Florida thing is a whole other thread which I just can't be arsed to go into. I'm not a benefit scrounger, I am trying very, very hard to get a job but find myself getting nowhere. That doesn't do much for depression, believe me! But I'd much rather be working than saving every penny I have.

But thanks again to everyone, I don't mean to be rude but I'm leaving this thread now, obviously its up to you lot if you want to carry on discussing it but I'd rather the money issue be dropped from the topic.

MrsSnape, please you do not have to justify your spending habbits at all.

I am going to leave this thread, out of courtesy to you.

But I think that Festive has made a very valuable point.

Take care and I hope things improve for you. I hope you have a lovely Christmas.

Thank you Alfiemagot...merry christmas to you too

(I know, I'm not supposed to be reading )

ooh think im going to have to change my name, look how its come out Alfiemagot eeew hate those little white things.

aam - I'm not sure how thinking you are harsh, which I do, is trying to justify anything .

Ah well. It has all hit the fan by the looks of it.

dsrplus8

• you dont sound like a teacher, your grammer isnt as spot on as i would expect from a member of the education board. lol. i wonder did you teach in the dark ages when no qualifications were required? or did you get your degree from the university of tollington?*

Are you serious? Do I have to point out your mistakes?

It's grammar not grammer. [

You must be more educated than me.

You obviously realise your wrong that's why you're getting personal.

If you spent less time popping out brats and more time educating yourself YOU wouldn't make so many mistakes.

See, it's not nice when someone gets personal.

God I so regret starting this thread

alfiemamagotstuckupthechimney, so sorry! I read your name wrong and thought the "magot" bit was the actual word magot! x

Thats Ok MrsSnape

See I am still checking this thread also, just trying sooooooo hard not to bite back at aim, its so difficult tho, but trying to be the better person. After all she has shown her true colours.

I've sat on my hands Mrs Snape as you want this to end, but I thought I should share my experiences with ds1. He is 6 with AS- so under the same 'umbrella' of conditions as your ds1.

Things we have found helped are - with picking up after himself - yes he does it if told to, but doesn't notice if not. We do a programme called 'RDI' that advises using declarative rather than directive language so that they learn to think for themselves. Eg instead of 'pick that sweet paper up and put it in the bin' say 'oh there's a sweet paper on the floor'. Ds1 got this eventually and does now pick things up he's dropped.

Poo on the wall - my ds1 went a bit further than this! I think at first it was down to a sensory thing, but after my horror it was toget a reaction from me when he was stressed.
I would class the mindless destruction of things in the same category as my ds1's 'destructive fiddling'. My ds1 is bored and his psych has suggested this is because he can't access interests like other children. The solution is to give him interests that also help him connect with his peers. So we set up a Spiderman interset for him by getting lots of stuff and being all interested ourselves - general promotion and it worked.It was great as he had an opener with boys his age 'what's your favourite superhereo' Now it's waning and the fiddling is back {broken telephone] so we've sent off for a match attack set.
Re behaviour - I think the 123 sounds good, but I also try to think that ds1 does think in a different way so I do try to consider that when I'm about to go ballistic!

Re cleaning up - I'm reasonably tidy, but it took me ages to introduce the eating only at the table rule and no touching windows. It's just easier to give them toast where ever they sit and stuff like that, but eventually I got sick of the mess/tidying and now we stick to the rules.

Hope that helps. Good luck.

Hope that's not too much babble and sorry for you that your thread got out of hand.

great post luckylady

MrsSnape I'm sorry you've had some problems with this thread, sheesh some people!!

Good luck with your DS2, I TOTALLY sympathise, it's very tough. There's some great advise here, fingers crossed for you things get easier. Just ignore the unconstructive criticism, not helpful at all.

Have a lovely Christmas. x

ha ha so when the OP's child is badly behaved it's because of her wicked/useless/slatternly behavour, and anything else is just making excuses. But of course whan aam's child is a badly behaved it's due to "behavioural issues linked to glue ear and speech delay."
What a hypocrite!
Aam you may or may not be an incompetent parent, but you are certainly a very nasty bit of work.