To make DS2 clean the entire house?

[MrsSnape]

In the past few months DS2 (7) has:

Kicked a hole in his bedroom door
drawn all over his bedroom door in felt tip/biro
wiped poo on the bathroom wall because he couldn't be bothered to change the bog roll
Dropped endless food on the living room floor.
Spilt drinks all over the sofa
Wiped red paint all over the hallway wall
Riped my leather computer chair because he was 'bored'
Got red 'fake blood' all over DS1's carpet which will not come out
Wiped grubby hands on the sofa instead on going to wash them properly

And just now he had bolognese on his hands and I caught him casually wiping it on living room radiator.

Sick to death of it, he has no respect for anything.

I'm thinking tomorow I will give him so anti-bacterial wipes and send him around the house cleaning from top to bottom. Just like I have to every day.

AIBU?

Have you read "siblings without rivalry"? I wonder if part of it is that they have allocated themselves roles.

DS1 is the "good one" so by default DS2 has cast himself as "the difficult one" just something to ponder.

I think my youngest is the "naughty" one part personality, partly her age and partly just making sure she's getting noticed, she definately doesn't cast herself as being "the baby" despite being the youngest of 4. She's tries stuff on ALL the time and is only 3

Madameplatypus, he does find it diffcult to engage in activities. He hates football, hates karate, got thrown out of his tennis club...I tried him with beavers but he didn't like that either

But I am going to try and focus on the positive in him from now on, because there is alot of it in him, its just hard to see sometimes.

Sorry, I can't keep up

Clam, he is under ed psych.

MadamePlatypus, hope this doesnt sound self absorbed but my ds is currently being dx for asd/aspergers with the co morbid of dyspraxia he is 4, I know from ds he cannot hold cutlery properly, so struggles to eat food without making a mess, he cannot play football as hasnt got the co-ordination that is needed. He finds it hard to tidy up, again because of the co-ordination, balancing to try and pick objects up.

If he gets anything on his fingers or hands, he has to wipe them on something, anything straight away. (touch wood, or porcelain not done this in the toilet) I know this as cant wipe his own bottom yet!!!

Social issues along side dyspraxia are not uncommon. Sometimes they are identified as along the Autistic Spectrum sometimes not. Feelign ostarcised , perhaps for reasons he cannot grasp, woudl nto be nice for anyone and dyspraxia itself can be a source of frustration and anger, for child and parent. Mrs S I'd also suggest you ask the school to organise and EP assessment to try to identify the extent of what is due to what. A stricter parenting regime in the meantime may help you feel more in control.

Just as well you have a thick skin Mrs Snape-you certainly needed it tonight! Hope you are not put off posting again. Maybe aam was just having a bad day.

www.dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/services/gu_pelessons.php

Apparently they have a forum? Perhaps they could advise you on some activities that might help him to improve his self esteem? Maybe activities where he doesn't feel he is competing with children without dyspraxia?

I think that by 7 a child should be helping round the house anyway. Once they see how much there is to be done they appreciate the work involved and hopefully will learn to cooperate in keeping the place clean and tidy.
Mine are only 5 and 2 but they wouldn't deliberately throw rubbish on the floor, or in the street for that matter...(tho the 2yo did scribble all over my passport this morning while I was ill in bed and DP was 'in charge'...

Good luck MrsS

alfiemamagotstuckupthechimney

my ds is currently being dx for asd/aspergers with the co morbid of dyspraxia he is 4.

My opinion still stands. SELF ABSORBED. What the hell does your sons asd/aspergers have to do with it. HE HAS DYSPRAXIA.

MrsSnape - You seem to have recognised the actions you need to take. He will improve gradually if you practice positive parenting. I just really objected to making him clean the WHOLE house because at a certain point you had enough of his ways. It would have been better for him if you kept on top of his behaviour from the beginning.

Wish you luck x

I have read many of your previous postings sometimes with great interest. However many seem to be about how bad a child ds2 is and how wonderful ds1 is...

"DS2 is in trouble again at school"

"I was going to buy ds1 a domain name for xmas as he has set up his own business"

Everything "good" for you seems to be centred on ds1. everything bad on ds2. DS2 is being MADE to share a Wii with ds1 even though he doesn;t want it....I canjust see it now

ME: ds1 you are going to have a shared present with ds2
DS1 : Oh what is it
ME: Well ds1 wants an iggle piggle dvd so i thought i would get it for you to share
DS1: But I don't want that
ME: Well I am afraid ds2 wants it so you have to have it...

Ok a wii is not a dvd but surely you can see how unfair that situation is? It was only last xmas you bought ds1 an xbox 360 and a ds.....how about something which would mean you all spend time together away from games consoles?

How about you stop finding fault with ds2 and start realising he is doing what he has been allowed to do because that way it was easier to ignore him in favour of ds1 because thats what your posts read like, Unless ds2 is misbehaving he is pushed aside for ds1.

Actually, last year it was the other way around. It was DS2 that wanted the xbox, ds1 wasn't too fussed about it so I bought it as a joint present because I knew they'd both play on it. Same as I know DS2 will play with the wii and there was nothing else he wanted this year other than a specific xbox game (which he's got). I've also got him mario kart for the wii which I know he'll love as he plays on the arcade ones.

But I do agree with the rest of your post, TLES.

Are you terribly wealthy? You've mentioned an Xbox, a Wii, plus numerous games, guinea pig hutches (quite expensive, as I recall), and I seem to remember you posting about Florida. But also looking for a job as you are on benefits.
I want some tips!

I would love to know how this thread has ended up as a dissection of the OP's spending habits and income source? I thought it was because she has a difficult-to-deal-with 7 year old - is there a subtext that I am too callous to pick up on?

Thats a bit uncalled for Lily just because shes on benefits does that mean she should get a lump of coal and a satsuma for her children?

Xboxes have gone down in price and gmes that arent top sellers can be bought for £10-whats to sayt Mrs snape hasnt got stuff out of catalogues and freecycle?

The op sed was she being unreasonable by asing her ds to help clean the house she wasnt inviting thinly veiled benefit sniping.

'merry christmas to all'

sed** asked- i have dodgy keyboard!!

Hello again aam

my ds has a co morbid of dyspraxia and actually somebody else asked how it effects him with tidy up, football etc.

See your still your jolly self

Oh by the way my opinion of you still stands

coldtits my point exactly

alfiemamagotstuckupthechimney - My point is he's only 4!! How much can he, or any other 4 year old tidy or play footy.

I'm trying to be more tactful, I really am.

My opinion of you is that you seem hellbent on blaming away MrsSnapes problems on medical reasons without foundation. You are not helpful, the OP can probably do without your neurotic ramblings.

That is me being restrained about your narrow minded outlook and intolerance of other opinions.

I respect you have every right to have melodramatic opinions - hell why go for the simple option of positive parenting when you can jump on the sensitive issue of SN.

By the way I have every sympathy for the MINORITY of parents of SN children.

so a 4 year old cannot kick a ball, or tidy toys away (hmm)

What we the MAJORITY are saying that there are little traits that we have picked up on this thread, otherwise we wouldnt have mentioned it.

It is a FACT that her son has Dyspraxia which is a SN.

How can wiping poo on walls be simple parenting problems?

jollyoldstnickschick -

'merry christmas to all'

Have you heard of passive aggressive behaviour?

If you are unhappy about something, have the courage of your convictions to just say it.

Some people are trying to think out of the box but are shouted down for this.

That's not right.

Not sure if you are aiming the last snipe at me or not, but I have got the courage to tell someone when I think they are making comments that are uncalled for.

Perhaps had you put your point across in a more well shall we just say tactful, way, people may have taken your oppionion on. As I have said all along I am not diagnosing this just asking op to pay a visit to gp.

This is not neurotic notions, its called caring that this op, whom for some reason is at the end of her tether.

I would not say that your postings have been very constructive.

to Aam , you are nothing short of self opinionated nasty person. HOW DARE YOU suggest that ds3 who has adhd, is a product of larger families bad parenting.I hope you never ever find yourself in the situation of caring for a child with SN.you would do better by reading the posts properly too, i did not say op's child had adhd, mearly suggested that she investigate the possibility and find out.what is your problem with larger families? we are not all "karen mathews types". i work, my dh works, we pay full rent and council tax, contribute to society in a positive, our family consits of children who we both have from previous marriages and twins who we share.i do not claim help for childcare and my children are taught to be respectful, polite and kind.they are taught to be clean and tidy and do very well at school,of course our two SN kids need extra help that is provided by the local council, and for that we are grateful and lucky.The suggestion that kids are diagnosed adhd "on a whim" is aborrant, as is the adhd is an excuse for bad parenting, it has a rigourous and labourious diagnosis ,as do many SN conditions. it is something no child should suffer, no family should endure, and if we could wave a magic wand and fix our children we would. shame on you.

He didn't just decide to smear poo on the wall on a whim. The OP pointed out they had run out of loo roll.

Please read the OP.

I obviously haven't been contstructive for you - because I refuse to agree with you and think for myself.

I never denied he had dyspraxia. Melodrama again!

jollyoldstnickschick.... It's a bit of a jump from a satsuma and a lump of coal (which I did NOT suggest)to a Wii (which her DS does not even want) plus games and a trip to Florida, that's all. And I think it's a reasonable point, however. There are many, many MNers who post on here who are on benefits and in real financial difficulty. I don't see them talking about such things. They're more likely to be concerned with paying their rent or fuel bills.

Come on aam, you are making yourself look very silly here.

1: You have said the child doesnt have an sn.
2: You have said it must be general parenting issues, yet the op is under a psychiatrist.

There is nothing to agree with, I am saying to the op go to the gp. I am not just suggesting for the child but for MrsSnape aswell, I think she has a lot on her plate, and your comments havent helped her at all.

If you ran out of loo roll would you wipe your hands on the wall, would your children?
Can you honestly tell me that this is bad parenting and that MrsSnape lets he child do this, come on, like I said your being silly now