To make DS2 clean the entire house?

[MrsSnape]

In the past few months DS2 (7) has:

Kicked a hole in his bedroom door
drawn all over his bedroom door in felt tip/biro
wiped poo on the bathroom wall because he couldn't be bothered to change the bog roll
Dropped endless food on the living room floor.
Spilt drinks all over the sofa
Wiped red paint all over the hallway wall
Riped my leather computer chair because he was 'bored'
Got red 'fake blood' all over DS1's carpet which will not come out
Wiped grubby hands on the sofa instead on going to wash them properly

And just now he had bolognese on his hands and I caught him casually wiping it on living room radiator.

Sick to death of it, he has no respect for anything.

I'm thinking tomorow I will give him so anti-bacterial wipes and send him around the house cleaning from top to bottom. Just like I have to every day.

AIBU?

MrsSnape ive read other stuff youve said i dont think you are a bad parent - just having a bumpy ride at the mo x

yes the 'poor sod' has been getting away with dropping stuff on the floor. As with everything, there are reasons and events which had led to things gettings so bad. I'm not going to post on this anymore so say what you want. I didn't realise posting a simple question could lead to such personal insults being thrown around for no good reason.

Yes, I asked for opinions, but opinions on my OP, NOT on how my "poor sod" or "beast" was being brought dragged up.

Thanks to the genuinly helpful replies.

I agree with Coldtits, you need firmer regime to help you with the boundary setting and the will power to follow it. ds2 sounds as if he has a self esteem issue and needs some limits to help him with self control, preferably similarly extending into the classroom. Yes my 7yr old does change the loo roll and will pick wrappers off the floor but makes mess when eating and sometimes needs reminding where the bin is ! If she doesn't then no more sweets. Also consider his diet and whether there is any pattern to the mroe extreme behaviours.

However I'm not sure it is entirely helpful to hold ds1 up as a model child though Mrs Snape - iirc he has his (separate)issues too. From your posts you seem to seesaw from concerns over one child to the other, never able to take time out to be objective. Maybe you could apply the same strategy to each child and see if it helps overall.

Leave MrsSnape alone! How horrible.

Not all children are the same. Some are easy to deal with, some are not regardless of whether or not they have a recognisable condition. There might be plenty of reasons for this, some of it due to parenting no doubt, but if all of you are perfect parents then I'd be extremely surprised We all screw up sometimes because we are all human.

And telling some one how bad they are and have been at something isn't helpful. Telling them how to make possible changes is.

JodieO, there are no behaviour disorders - the OP clarified this.

Hop off the bandwagon.

Just simple parenting issues

Mrs Snape, I completely sympathise. I have 4 children. Three of them learned appropriate behaviour without too much problem. The fourth one, is a bit like your ds.

It is NOT necessarily your parenting, whatever other people with "easier" children say!

Ds doesnt mean badly, but he just doesnt see that some things arent acceptable. However, I do find that if I make a big point about things, he does learn. Its just that, with the others, I didnt have to go on and on and on about stuff!
Lots of propaganda, lots of talking, and yes, do make him go round with the wet cloth.

It all seems to have got very nasty-I don't think anyone should make judgements unless they have walked in other people's shoes!
My comment was intended to be helpful-I just don't think you can suddenly punish for behaviour that you have let go in the past.
Whatever you decide to do it needs to be consistent-therefore only start something if you can keep it up. Good luck Mrs Snape-some DCs are more difficult than others!

Funnily enough my last child is the most challenging. And I maintain that it is largely down to his personality not our parenting. But it can be a vicious circle - bad behaviour is rewarded with (negative) attention, he wants more (positive) attention but isn't sure how to get it. So does the same again. And because he one of three there is less attention to go round.

I think that making him take the consequences (ie clean up the mess or lose pocket money/toys) is good. But if you can spend more time with him in a - positive way, doing more things with him, praising what he does right it will also help.

OrmIrian

The OP asked if she was BU. She is.Your post is soo patronising. 'tell her how to make changes'

What would be the point?

aam, if I'm such a 'piss poor parent', how come my eldest son is pretty much perfectly behaved? It's not all black and white. Yes he has got away with stuff and he is spoilt but so is DS1 and he doesn't behave the same way.

Her DS1 is 'perfect' dontcha know.

Well what is the point of your posts then aam? I don't think my post it was patronising. But perhaps you think 'telling it like it is' is a virtue?

I never said you were a 'piss poor parent' by the way. Just that maybe you make poor decisions.

Everybody seems to think I'm insulting their difficult little darlings - I'm not.

I think it is. Much better than saying 'there is no problem, let him have dirty habits'.

That doesn't help anyone

wow some of you are just plain nasty

I for one have no intention to be nasty. Just my opinion.

mummag, it always goes like this when you post "how to deal with xxx behaviour problem?"

Loads of people jump down your throat saying its all your fault in the first place. Which is really not helpful.

aam, if you think she makes poor decisions, then why not phrase your reply as "I do xxxx in this situation..." or "Why dont you try yyyy?"

If its the truth it should be helpful. If the OP just wants sympathy and praise she shouldn't post in AIBU.

No, I think she would appreciate constructive suggestions.

Posting an accusation that she makes poor decisions is, well, a poor decision, imo. Damn, broken my own rule, now.

Because aam appears to relish being offensive nigh.

As I said before she knows how to raise a 'perfect' child! I honestly don't.

Why is the truth offensive?

OrmIrian - you are trying to justify the unjustifiable.

I'm allowed my opinion.

aam - yes, of course we all have our opinions. But do you know what? when I want to help someone, or convince them, I package my opinion in a way that they will find easiest to understand and take on board.

It generally isnt helpful to come out and insult people, even if you are right. Thats all Im saying.