Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want nieces/nephews to visit newborn

141 replies

SalBySea · 15/12/2008 16:44

hi, I am pregnant with my first child and I am just wondering if this is a normal/reasonable concern or not:

Our nieces/nephews are in nursery and reception. I dont think that they should visit our baby until its a few weeks old and has build up a bit more of an immune system. Am I being over protective? If you think I'm reasonable, what's the most diplomatic way to say this to families, dont want them thinking that I think their kids are sickly, lurgy ridden things with cooties.

OP posts:
Dropdeadfred · 15/12/2008 16:45

children aprt from your own are not allowed on the maternity ward

constancereader · 15/12/2008 16:45

I think this is an overreaction. Get them to wash their hands if you are that worried.

scorpio1 · 15/12/2008 16:45

I think you're being silly.

ClausImWorthIt · 15/12/2008 16:46

Personally I think YABU.

Babies are tough. And we all have to catch a cold at some point!

And they're just as likely to catch it from your partner or anyone else you come into contact with as you are from your nieces/nephews.

Or is there something more going on here about your relationship with your family?

BoccaDellaNativita · 15/12/2008 16:47

I think you are being more protective than is strictly necessary.

By all means limit how long the children spend holding their new cousin, but I think it's excessive to keep them away from the baby altogether. Surely coming to see the new baby is an important family occasion?

Hulababy · 15/12/2008 16:47

I think you are being overprotective. Babies don't need protecting from other children. How would you cope if there was a sibling in the house?

On the maternity ward - fair enough. But when home - OTT IMO.

randomxmas · 15/12/2008 16:47

bf will pass some of your infection fighting cells to your baby - this will help

SnowOfHands · 15/12/2008 16:48

I think yabu but it's your child and your choice.

Will you be keeping the baby inside for 6 weeks too? What about parents of said children because they may be carrying the same germs?

I completely understand the worry and wanting to protect your baby from all the evils of the world (normal) but realistically the joy of introducing a new baby to the family outweighs the inevitable contact with germs.

LIZS · 15/12/2008 16:49

yabu, a few weeks won't make a jot of difference, he/she will still have natural immunity from you for many things and won't build up his/her own immunity unless exposed. Obviously if they are actually unwell then ask that they don't visit but a general ban on them won't stop your lo being catching anything whether you plan to go out and about, or just stay at home.

WinkyWinkola · 15/12/2008 16:49

Is it that you'd like some peace for a while before you get visitors? That's ok to say if that's what you prefer.

But if it's just bugs and lurgies you're worried about, then I don't think you need to. What will you do with your second child? Keep him/her away from its sibling?

santasinmywaistband · 15/12/2008 16:50

YABU they could pick up an infection from anywhere. If you have a second child, would you keep the older sibling away for a few weeks in case it gave the newborn something, thought not

scorpio1 · 15/12/2008 16:50

You could say to people that you want a 'babymoon' to help establish BF, say 4 or 5 days, at which point you will feel more up to visitors.

santasinmywaistband · 15/12/2008 16:50

x posts ww

BitOfFunUnderTheMistletoe · 15/12/2008 16:50

I think that newborns are quite robust actually, as they still have the protection of your antibodies. It's unlikely the children would be allowed on the ward, but if they wash their hands and are supervised it would be a shame to stop them meeting their new cousin while the excitement is fresh. YABU I think.

Original poster
SalBySea · 15/12/2008 16:50

CIWI

I know theyre tough - but nurseries are melting pots for childhood diseases, which I think is fine for bigger kids but our baby wont have had any jabs etc yet

I know the have to catch a cold sometime and I am not part of the detol brigade AT ALL but I'd just like to have at least let it have a few weeks of breast milk/growth first.

I'm not talking about them not visiting at all, just not visiting when its JUST been born. I dont mind if they come a month or two later

OP posts:
MummyGorilla · 15/12/2008 16:50

I think that if they are showing any signs of illness they should stay away. But I guess no-one would take a sick child to visit a newborn?

Otherwise, unless the baby is premature/very low birth weight, I'd be OK with it. And I am completely neurotic about these things!

LIZS · 15/12/2008 16:52

DTP jabs won't help against the usual coughs, colds and viruses anyway - sorry that is a red herring. Would you really make them wait 2 months ?

MummyGorilla · 15/12/2008 16:53

The jabs at 8 weeks are for very (now) uncommon diseases, and it is likely your nieces/nephews will have had the jabs so won't have the illness.

WinkyWinkola · 15/12/2008 16:55

Well, it's up to you when you have your visitors of course. But I don't think there's anything to worry about in terms of infection.

A cold is a cold is a cold. DD had one at about 1 month old. What was I supposed to do - keep her in a bubble?

Bugs, germs etc - it's all part of life and it's a Canutian (sic) thing to do to try and prevent your baby getting them. And probably detrimental to his / her health ultimately.

aGalChangedHerName · 15/12/2008 16:56

2 months??? Really????

I had visitors of all ages after all of my 4 were born and none of them were ill for months after birth IIRC.

Will you also tell the parents of the childen you don't want to visit to not come for 2 months either?

I am sorry t say this but you are being a little bit PFB.

SnowOfHands · 15/12/2008 16:57

No the baby won't have had any jabs but your nieces and nephews will have presumably. And there are no vaccinations against coughs and colds.

I do understand, honestly. I'm going for a meal with friends who have a little boy next weekend and he's in a nursery and has a permanent cold/cough/bug. I'm quietly a bit concerned that dd will catch something and be poorly for Christmas (last Christmas spent seeing the emergency doctor as she had a hideous infection and needed antibiotics, Christmas a write off). And my dd's a whopping 19 months. It's okay to worry about your child's health but you can only take reasonable precautions (handwashing and no obviously ill children) or you'll drive yourself doolally.

PinkPoinsettias · 15/12/2008 16:58

you're being daft

babies are tough little creatures and if you bf it'll be even stronger.

the baby is as likely to catch something from the parents of these kids as the kids themselves..... or how about the nurse on the maternity ward who have toddlers at home and might be carrying their germs?

or what if you have a cold when you have the baby, or dp does or mil or anyone else who'd going to be holding it?

the vacs aren't going to protect against common bugs and viruses... only exposure to the germs in question will provide protection from those and the earlier that starts the better for baby.

cory · 15/12/2008 16:58

You will need to see some adults surely in a month or two. They are just as likely to be swarming with germs- the fact that they may not themselves succumb doesn't mean they can't be carriers. You will need to take baby to clinic- swarming with bugs.

To me, it is a very precious thing to see young children greet a new baby.

Original poster
SalBySea · 15/12/2008 16:58

"Is it that you'd like some peace for a while before you get visitors? That's ok to say if that's what you prefer."

yeah I think that's a big part of it. I doubt they'll just stay for 5 mins after a 4 hr round trip!

We'll be completely new to the whole baby thing (neither even have younger siblings) so the thought of being a new mum AND a host does worry me

OP posts:
Divineintervention · 15/12/2008 17:00

you casn say no colds or coughs to visit, everyone wash hands and no touching for small children....you are having ababy not a toy.

Swipe left for the next trending thread