to not want nieces/nephews to visit newborn

[SalBySea]

hi, I am pregnant with my first child and I am just wondering if this is a normal/reasonable concern or not:

Our nieces/nephews are in nursery and reception. I dont think that they should visit our baby until its a few weeks old and has build up a bit more of an immune system. Am I being over protective? If you think I'm reasonable, what's the most diplomatic way to say this to families, dont want them thinking that I think their kids are sickly, lurgy ridden things with cooties.

Well its your kid but i think your being ott

When/if you have dc2 you will look back and realise how silly you were

Well its your kid but i think your being ott

When/if you have dc2 you will look back and realise how silly you were

Well its your kid but i think your being ott

When/if you have dc2 you will look back and realise how silly you were

Well its your kid but i think your being ott

When/if you have dc2 you will look back and realise how silly you were

let them come and tell them to bring you lunch more like it

I think i got my point across

I think i got my point across

"Are your visitors the type to take offence if you asked them not to stay too long with their lively offspring?"

I think that yes they would. They are not very independent so are unlikely to go off and find a pub for lunch by themselves without a bit of a fuss "oooo is it far?" etc

And after a long drive, when the kids have only started to stretch their legs, how likely are they to happily drive straight back home again?

I don't see why you have to be a host-tell them where the kettle is! I doubt if they will stay long. It is only first babies that can get treated like this, subsequent ones have to fit in and I think it is much better for them.

Get them to bring lunch with them!

I think you need to manage expectations then if they are travelling so far, say you can come soon after the birth but can't stay long, is a nightmare when everyone turns up when the baby needs feeding and then stay, bfing in public a bit difficult in first couple of weeks. Maybe suggest that they come later when bf is easier and they can stay longer, offer choice of visit of no longer than an hour in first few weeks or longer visit later?? I found having moses basket in the living room was a must, so people can see baby while she is asleep, no pressure to wake her up to see guests.

I was and still am p'd off that my SIL with a heavy cold came to visit my pfb the day after he was born . My DH said to his mum don't let SIL come till her cold has gone but obviously SIL meeting ds who had gone through a 40 hour labour followed by emergency section was much more important than ds catching a horrible cold at a few days old. Thought it was selfish tbh.

I don't think you are being silly but I don't think that coldless kids or adults for that matter would do that much harm. Although I probably wouldn't have liked it either.

Sal, when you are pregnant your immune system isn't working at full strength which is why you got ill and weren't so resilient to various bugs.

Unfortunately when you have dc dealing with illness is an ongoing thing (far more so when they go to nursery/toddler and even worse - school!)

My own experience is that I was far more tired 6 weeks down the line than I was in the early days. And I was 37.5 when my first was born!

Going slightly against the grain here, but after having ds2 develop bronchiolitis at four days old with snotty siblings around, I was very very protective of ds3. Didn't let any children other than his siblings near him until he was about four weeks, and even then if the sibs had a cold there was no way they were getting a hold.

Spending a week in hospital with a very ill newborn does taint the way you think...

So I don't think you are being unreasonable.

You are on a natuarl high when you've just given birth and come crashing down about day three so before that day or day 5 or 6 would be better.
I completely understand you wanting to keep the baby protected but honestly you'll have to share him/her and nobody is going to wait a couple of months.
My DD number 3 was passed alround my eldest's nursery friends at 6 hours old and lived to tell the tale.

YABU

Have you not read any of the recent info that explains why so many kids have allergies??
Because their immune systems are not allowed to develop. Too much hygene is bad news.

Personally, i wouldn't want any kids with obvious streaming olds etc visiting as although I BF both mine they still got colds and colds in a new baby are a nightmare imo.

"Sal, when you are pregnant your immune system isn't working at full strength which is why you got ill and weren't so resilient to various bugs"

the point of that story was more about not being able to trust people to stay away (or keep their kids away) if they're ill. Which they should do, even if the cold wont do the LO much harm I dont wanna catch one myself when I'll be tired anyway and in need of all my strength to look after a new baby and BF etc.

She said herself (once I was there and had been handed a sniffling tot) that it was a particualarly nasty bug that all her family had had it. She even had a moan about the mum who allowed the kid her kid got it from to still go to nursery with it and pass it on to the other kids but she wasnt bothered about passing it on to me! Some people only consider themselves and their own families

have you not noticed that many, many families rounfd the world have more than one child? And the younger siblings survive, indeed they often positivly thrive, in sipre of being in contact with all sorts of micro-organisms.

There are more bacteria on us, and in us, then there are cell of us!!! This is quite , quite normal, and in fact in many cases essential to good health.

You need to calm down about this a bit.

lil I'm not stupid! how many times on this thread do I have to explain that I am not the type to sterilise everything or use alcohol hand gel after touching anything outside etc? I dispear at friends who dont allow their kids to ever get dirty - I was up to my knees in mud or sand or something similar (or worse) for most of my childhood

I'm not a clean freak and dont see how my posts could possibly have implied I am.

My OP was about the very first few days / weeks. I already said that by 6 weeks I intend to bring the LO to the local swimming poole etc.

True, MB

Tbh you seem determined to pick holes in every suggestion or experience posters have put forward.

Is there more to this than meets the eye?

gosh YABU!

babies have their mum's immunity at least for the first weeks, longer if you bfeed. what about all the babies who have older siblings? they tend to survive

moreover your nephews and nieces will be overexcited to meet the baby- children love babies. you would be depriving them and yourself of a really lovely moment.

just have a word with their parents and let them know you'd like the visit to be short and sweet, they'll understand having been there not long ago

just tell them it is not convenient for any of them to visit for a few weeks, either that you are busy or you want to get yourselves used to parenthood before an influx of visitors hopefully they will understand.

Martianbishop I think that there is a big difference between a person who freaks out about normal bacteria (not me!!) and thinking that if the whole house is practically bed bound with a bug, you should tell a person you are inviting round!