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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find that parents with kids aged 10 insisting their children believe in Santa are creepy?

209 replies

ssd · 14/12/2008 09:28

I know of some mums who insist their kids believe in santa and the kids are taller than me, whats wrong with kids NOT believing in santa?, doesn't make you a bad parent

OP posts:
debzmb62 · 15/12/2008 14:08

so can 10-11 buy a drink in a pub by cigs etc NO OF COURSE THEY CAN,T THEY ARE KIDS FFS whats the problem if your kids still believe in santa let them be kids and please don,t be a ass and tell me thers no santa !!

cory · 15/12/2008 14:12

No, deb, but a fair few of them will have reached puberty. Kids and in some ways not kids. I find it a very interesting age, myself, but not all that innocent- in a nice way. Dd was definitely growing up by this age.

How do you prevent them from borrowing a book in the library where this question is discussed? How do you prevent them from talking to their friends about it?

StephanieByng · 15/12/2008 14:20

I just can't comprehend how a ten year old (providing they are literate) can still truly believe? Surely their knowledge is a little past that? I think surely some parents must be not making a distinction between deciding to believe and play along, and really truly believing? I hope so anyway!

StephanieByng · 15/12/2008 14:22

I also think it's a false distinction; a ten year old who doesn't believe in santa is not a kid then, if you follow that reasoning? "let them be kids!"

You do not have to be ignorant and uninformed, to be being 'allowed' to be a child.

debzmb62 · 15/12/2008 14:35

stephanie take a chill pill !
all kids are differant !!all my kids belived until about 5-6 they are 27 25 16 8 and 3 yep were keeping santa alive for dd 3 but if you can convince them why not
does.nt santa bring you anything bless see you should belive !!santa.s watching you

FlynnieAroundTheChristmasTree · 15/12/2008 14:37

I believed in FC along with my three sisters until at least the age of 11/12. I also wrote letters to the Fairies and was not really that sheltered or odd or part of a creepy family.
Children have enough pressure to grow up before their time what the hell is wrong with a little fantasy and innocence?

If your child does not believe then fine that is your business but for Gods sake stop demonising parents and children who still do.

StephanieByng · 15/12/2008 14:39

Why is it growing up before your time not to belive in father christmas?

StephanieByng · 15/12/2008 14:43

My son does believe this year - he's six. But he's starting to question it and I think TBH that by christmas day he may have worked it out; certainly this time next year he will have worked it out.

Flynnie when you were twelve did you really truly believe a big jolly man in a red suit came down your chimney?

why? Genuine question. I would honestly, really like to know.

Gateau · 15/12/2008 14:47

Creepy describes a perv who peeps through people's curtains. NOT someone who likes to retain a little magic for their kids.
What a bundle of joy you sound for Christmas!

StephanieByng · 15/12/2008 14:50

but we're talking ten year olds.

I am still utterly mystified, and no-one has answered me, why it is seen as 'growing up too fast' and letting all 'magic' go, if TEN year olds don't believe?

FlynnieAroundTheChristmasTree · 15/12/2008 14:53

Because I just did.

Years ago there was a photograph of a little girl playing with some fairies that some time after was proved to be fake, well when the picture first came out Arthur Conan Doyle said that it proved what he had known all along, that fairies really do exist. J M Barrie also said that he recognised one of the fairies.

Maybe they and anyone over the age of 5 who believes in such things is a bit odd but I think that I will just continue to encourage my children for as long as they want to believe.

FlynnieAroundTheChristmasTree · 15/12/2008 14:58

Oh and Stephanie, because FC is the magic part of christmas.
getting presents from family is wonderful and exciting but there is nothing magical about if for children.

StephanieByng · 15/12/2008 14:58

'as long as they want to believe' - YES, absolutely, I quite agree. Rather than as long as 'we' may feel they ought to (as it would be if you answer a genuine question with a lie). If ds asks me I will answer honestly.

But I STILL don't get why it's seen as not being a child and growing up too soon, if they don't believe? At ten?

StephanieByng · 15/12/2008 15:01

yes father christmas is magical; still doesn't answer why not believing is seen as not being a child and growing up too soon? Which is what people are saying when they say "oh let them be kids, they all grow up too soon".

ABudafulSightWereHappyTonight · 15/12/2008 15:33

Stephanie - I am not saying that there is anything wrong with 10 year olds not believing. But on the other hand I do not think it wrong or odd if they do. There has been a lot of hmm on here this year about 10 year olds believing. I know quite a few who do.

I am also not saying they are not children if they don't believe. I just don't feel that they or their parents should be castigated if they do believe. And if the parents work at ensuring they believe.

In this day and age children do have to grow up fast in a lot of ways - you only have to try and shop for a 9/10/11/12 year old girl to see that. It is hard to find nice appropriate clothing sometimes. There is so much mini-adult clothing for them. I just feel that if they still believe in FC it is nice and keeps the magic of Xmas going and is a sort of sign that they are still children.

ssd · 15/12/2008 16:03

I don't feel the magic of Christmas has to centre around a fictional santa

we have agreat Xmas with or without believing in him!

OP posts:
sicksantadenier · 15/12/2008 16:08

anyway in view if my starting this thread and upsetting most of you, I've changed my name to a Xmas-y name!

StephanieByng · 15/12/2008 16:20

i think it's worrying to equate childhood with ignorance. Innocence and ignorance are not the same. We should want our children to be as knowledgeable as they can be because that is helping them to grow up - it's not our job to keep them in ignorance because it may suit us.

I totally support children believing for as long as they really DO. But I do think it is wrong to actively work to ensure they do, at ten.

cory · 15/12/2008 16:29

FlynnieAroundTheChristmasTree on Mon 15-Dec-08 14:53:13

"Years ago there was a photograph of a little girl playing with some fairies that some time after was proved to be fake, well when the picture first came out Arthur Conan Doyle said that it proved what he had known all along, that fairies really do exist. J M Barrie also said that he recognised one of the fairies."

Well, whoever was being innocent about those fairies, it can't have been the two little girls involved. They must have known that they were cut out of a well known margarine advert. Which is why Barrie recognised them.

As for Conan Doyle, he believed in all sorts of occult crap.

I have nothing against Santa, personally, and my dcs can do what they like about believing (what they do like is actually knowing-but-pretending).

But I do think Stephanie has a point. Sometimes you hear parents on MN who don't seem to like the idea of their children growing up and becoming knowledgeable about the world. Whyever not? I've enjoyed it- why not my dd? It doesn't mean that you have to fill your world with sexy innuendo or provoking clothes. But innocent in the sense of naive doesn't seem such a very desirable thing to be either.

Dd reached puberty at age 10, both in terms of physical development and in terms of maturity. She had probably worked out the Santa thing 5 or 6 years earlier than that, but was tactful enough not to spoil anyone's pleasure. She is not at all into over-sexualised behaviour or over-materialistic. She can still enjoy the good parts of childhood, she still plays and is not at all afraid of being thought a child.

But if by innocent you mean ignorant, then she certainly isn't that either. By 10 she already had her own library card and she has never been the sort of person you can keep ignorant. But then I've never wanted to.

StephanieByng · 15/12/2008 16:38

Good post Cory.

citronella · 15/12/2008 16:39

Well you might not believe in Santa and he may not exist but can you be really really sure?

StephanieByng · 15/12/2008 16:40
nooka · 15/12/2008 16:49

As I never had FC at all does that mean I was buying guns and weapons from my cradle? Of course not, it is a completely false dichotomy. I still remember my nephew jumping up and down one Christmas shouting "It's Jesus birthday!" As an aetheist by this time I did cringe, but in truth that is what Christmas is actually about. The Santa invention is pretty new as traditions go (in the UK anyway).

Christmas is whatever your family tradition is about, whether that is midnight mass or sprinkling reindeer dust in your garden. Relating it to the innocence or otherwise of your children is a bit of a stretch IMO.

cory · 15/12/2008 16:52

Though a Christian, I can't help pointing out that in northern Europe Christmas, as in the Yule Midwinter feast, was being celebrated long before the arrival of Christianity. So it's hard to say what it's "actually about".

nooka · 15/12/2008 17:16

I like the midwinter thing best personally. Especially as we have moved further north, and it's dark (and very cold) here! But that is Yule/midwinter solstice, not Christmas (although I accept that the reason for Christmas being in the middle of December is totally because of Yule).

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