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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find that parents with kids aged 10 insisting their children believe in Santa are creepy?

209 replies

ssd · 14/12/2008 09:28

I know of some mums who insist their kids believe in santa and the kids are taller than me, whats wrong with kids NOT believing in santa?, doesn't make you a bad parent

OP posts:
TinselianAstra · 14/12/2008 14:26

I know it's perfectly possible for a secondary-school child to believe. I just think it's not very common.

I'm not even agreeing with the OP in saying that it's creepy, but I do think it's a bit silly for people to say things like:
"As far as I am aware, my dd aged 8, but nearer 9, still believes in FC. I don't think it makes me creepy, and I definitely don't think it makes me a better parent, except is so far as I have attempted to keep my daughter a little girl and not make her into a pre-teen before her time."
as if all the parents of children who don't believe are somehow failing to protect their children from the big bad world.

piscesmoon · 14/12/2008 16:17

I don't think it is creepy or reflects on your parenting, I am just very surprised that a DC can get to secondary school without questioning it, especially as someone in the playground will have taken it upon themselves to enlighten them. Mine each kept quiet for the sake of the younger ones but they all went through the same line of questioning. I would be worried that they were setting themselves up for teasing if they really believed when 11yrs old.

Saturn74 · 14/12/2008 16:33

This is a great thread title for revealing the truth to any eagle-eyed, fluently reading DC though.

CrackopentheBaileys · 14/12/2008 16:35

true Humphrey, DS came in and sat down. Laptop was immediately shut!

piscesmoon · 14/12/2008 16:39

By the time I was 10 I was reading everything and anything that came my way so unless they have very poor reading skills I don't see how they can be believers at that age.

Saturn74 · 14/12/2008 16:41

I suppose that depends if you believe everything you read or not, doesn't it?

OrmIrian · 14/12/2008 16:47

It's not creepy. My oldest doesn't beleive any more but he has enough sensitivity not to let his younger siblings into the secret. IME it's something that just happens to children when they are ready - not a big deal.

nkf · 14/12/2008 16:47

I think children start of believing then go through a phase when they choose to believe. Then they don't believe but join in with keeping younger children believing. It's rather lovely at all the stages.

ggirlsbells · 14/12/2008 16:51

I have a friend who was in tears because her 13 yr old dd said she didn't believe in father xmas this yr...apparently she has believed up until this yr
now that is bloody odd imo

piscesmoon · 14/12/2008 16:55

The thing about reading is that it makes you think and lets you make up your own mind. I find your friend very odd ggirlsbells!!

80sMum · 14/12/2008 17:09

I don't think that children really 'believe' in Father Christmas (or the tooth fairy etc) beyond the age of about 5, do they? Most know the difference between fantasy and reality. But it's still fun to play along and pretend and I see no harm in that.

I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the idea of parents trying to artificially prolong a child's ignorance though. If a child asks a question, such as 'is there really a father Christmas' they deserve a truthful answer. It does sometimes seem that the whole Father Christmas game is more for the parents' benefit than the children's!

cuppa · 14/12/2008 17:33

my 9 year old ds asked me last week if Santa was real. I had to tell him he wasn't - didn't want to at this age actively lie ( as opposed to go passively along with the myth). worried he'd insist at school it was true cos I'd told him & get picked on.

Later that night he was in floods of tears saying he was so sad to find out, he wished he was young again like his little brother, he doesn't want to grow up etc etc

Not creepy or crazy that they till believe, but as a parent I'd be concerned about other kids' eactions

KatieDD · 14/12/2008 17:38

I had a woman appraoch me in the playground to ask if my DD age 8 could not tell her DD age 9 that FC doesn't exist, we had a big thread on parenting all about it.
Half agreed that the woman was a loon and half thought I was a cow for giving her a funny look and thinking she was a loon.

TLESinChristmasStockings · 14/12/2008 17:38

Why is it ignorance to let them believe for as long as they want to?

I remember writing a letter to santa when I was 10 and getting a reply. I had a lot to deal with in my life with my dad being disabled and it was lovely to have someone to believe in who could make everything fair for ALL children.

DoesntChristmasDragOn · 14/12/2008 17:42

My nearly 10 yo DS still believes. I think he's wavering but he still believes this year.

Personally I'd rather be "creepy" than judgemental and miserable.

MsPontipine · 14/12/2008 18:42

I'm 38 and even though it's been me for the last 5 years tip-toeing about leaving crumbs and filled up bags for those few seconds when I get downstairs early in the morning in that half-light and there's that magical feeling of wonder and expectation in the air even I believe.

mashedup · 14/12/2008 18:51

I'm a grown up and I believe.

StephanieByng · 14/12/2008 19:38

I totally agree with you 80smum, I don't think it's really believing in father christmas; they are playing along aged 10. I would be concerned if a child did believe it hook line and sinker at that age; they need a bit more knowledge by that time; but I think it's lovely if they want to keep it all just the same as they had when they were 4 or 5.

Hulababy · 14/12/2008 19:39

Creepy? I find the fact that someone might think this creepy more odd TBH!

Why does it matter? Let children be children. It is up to the child when they decide to believe or not; leave them to it.

noiamnot · 14/12/2008 19:42

I only insist when he is making pronouncements that Santa doesn't exist in front of my 6 year old.

ds1 is dubious, doubtful, but still wondering I think. He is 10.

noiamnot · 14/12/2008 19:43

so who is that filling up my stocking xmas eve then....

StephanieByng · 14/12/2008 19:44

I firmly believe that 99.9999% of kids aged 10 know very well that he doesn't exist. They'd have to be very very very very "sheltered" not to! It's lovely they want to play along but we really shouldn't be so naive!

Original poster
ssd · 14/12/2008 19:45

I used creepy as I had a conversation at the school gates on Friday with a few parents, who had children aged 10/11. we were discussing santa and when I said ds doesn't believe anymore they all looked at me totally shocked and one of them said "shame on you he doesn't believe anymore!!"

I thought who are they kidding? themselves?

I get younger the ones believing (ds2 does), but I think past the age of 10 they usually don't, but don't want to let their parents know this, and for some reason not known to me the parents are proud the kids tell them they still believe

OP posts:
Hulababy · 14/12/2008 19:47

But it doesn't matter. So long as that child and that parent is happy, what is the problem?

BucksFizz · 14/12/2008 19:49

Message deleted