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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find that parents with kids aged 10 insisting their children believe in Santa are creepy?

209 replies

ssd · 14/12/2008 09:28

I know of some mums who insist their kids believe in santa and the kids are taller than me, whats wrong with kids NOT believing in santa?, doesn't make you a bad parent

OP posts:
DaidiNaNollag · 14/12/2008 11:38

I really don't know of anyone who insists that their children believe. If my children still believe, I don't deliberately disillusion them. They will have 60-0dd years of not believing, why spoil the good bit!

hecAteAMillionMincePies · 14/12/2008 11:38

my kids are 8 & 9 and a half and still believe. I think.

Sometimes I think ds1 doesn't, not really, but he hasn't asked directly, so I've not said anything. He talks about santa, but at the moment he says things like "can you get me X for christmas", so it's hard to tell.

ds2 I think doesn't care one way or the other. He knows he'll get presents, who brings them, well, he couldn't give a feck!

I do want them to be 'age appropriate', but they are very very innocent and that's not going to change any time soon! I do want them to be level with their peers but I can't make myself tell them, out of the blue.

until they ask me, I'll not tell them. I won't be the one to take it away from them.

lottiejenkins · 14/12/2008 11:43

OP,,,,,,,im very very that you think im creepy......... My lovely ds is 12 and has special needs..he still believes in FC,,,,,,,im really happy to keep the magic going as long as possible. We are going to Eurodisney this year and he's leaving his stocking with our neighbours as the french people wont understand FC as he's english and our chimney is dirty, he specially asked our neighbour if he could hang his stocking there and she was thrilled to be asked.... IM NOT CREEPY IN THE LEAST......................

piscesmoon · 14/12/2008 11:43

By the time DCs ask outright if he exists they already know that he doesn't! I didn't find that mine were disappointed, they thought the whole thing was lovely-they only ask the outright question if they are ready for the answer IMO. By the age of 10 they believe because they want to believe, they must have had other DCs tell them 'the truth'by then.

Coldtits · 14/12/2008 11:46

I distinctly remember being 10 or 11, still at primary school, writing letters back to the infants who had written to santa, posing as one of santa's elves.

And to our credit, NOBODY told them it was really us.

edam · 14/12/2008 11:47

that's very sweet, lottie. Tell him he does exist in France but he's called Pere Noel (can't do accents but there's one over the first 'e' of Pere).

kerala · 14/12/2008 11:52

Do you think some of the older children are pretending they still believe in FC to humour their parents?!

daftpunk · 14/12/2008 12:00

possibly kerela, but i genuinely think my 9 year old still believes (ob i don't know for sure?) i would never tell my dc that fc isn't real...never...my parents still have a present for me from fc when i visit on xmas day..i'm 35!

lottiejenkins · 14/12/2008 12:00

I didnt want to go into it too much Edam, i have told him theres an english and a french one and that the english one stays in england!

googgly · 14/12/2008 12:05

I'm astonished that 10 year olds believe in Santa. I remember being quite grown up at 10, and already growing out of kids literature etc. My ds1, who's 6, still believes though has started to ask quite penetrating questions . Ds 2 and 3 firmly believe (though ds 3 is convinced he's called Mother Christmas!)

LynetteScavo · 14/12/2008 12:27

My mum told me Father Christmas wasn't real when I was 9 1/2, because I was makeing a fool of myself, aparently. We were in the chrch car park, on Christmas day. Yes I remember clearly where I was, and what I was doing when I heard FC was dead.

Of course I knew he hadn't come down the chimney, and my stocking was all my mothers hard work - but hearing her say those words was so harsh. Yes, I cried when she told me; not because I'd just found out the truth, (ofcurse I already knew)but because my mother had given up playing what had been a fun game. I still got a stocking untill I was 18, but after that it was never quite the same.

I shall never say such a thing to my DC's, and I still like to think there is some little old man making wooden toys somewhere in a very snowy place, with reindeer outside his door, and stars twinking brightly above.

F.C. will allways live on in my heart, and I hope the hearts of my DC's too.

sleepyeyes · 14/12/2008 12:28

YABU I still believed at 10 and my family are not creepy.

LynetteScavo · 14/12/2008 12:29

Oh, and nearly 10 yo said last week, "I know F.C. is real because he always brings us bubble bath, and mum doesn't let us have bubble bath because of our eczma."

HappyMummyOfOne · 14/12/2008 12:31

I think as long as they know the truth before high school its fine.

Ivykaty44 · 14/12/2008 12:46

I have told my 10 year old that santa isn't real - will she beleive me -no

She has even told me that if you dont beleive you will not get a pressy form him..

It is me getting creeped out

thebrain · 14/12/2008 13:25

I remember my Nan saying "Of course you're old enough to know Father Christmas isn't real..." I wasn't, not really, I mean I had my doubts but I still wanted to believe. Another couple of magic Christmases wouldn't have hurt would they.

alicet · 14/12/2008 13:27

I still believed until i was 10 or 11. So yes YABU

LunarSea · 14/12/2008 13:47

Well I for one hope that in 3 years time my now 7 year old will keep any doubts he has to himself, for the sake of ds2 who will then be. I'm pretty sure he doesn't really believe now, but will go along with it, but I'd be devastated if he said anything to deny ds2 to joy of believing for a few years.

TinselianAstra · 14/12/2008 13:54

Not creepy, but even those who have said 'I don't think it makes me a better parent' have followed that up with 'my DD is a child, not being forced to grow up too fast into a teenager' or similar.

Don't be ridiculous. Not believing in FC doesn't equate with 'sexualisation of young children' or any other phrases for "making" children grow up too fast. No-one is making their child stop believing. Children pretend to believe for longer than they really do. Just because they have't asked the question doesn't mean they haven't thought about it.

If your child is 10 and 'still believes in FC' then either:
*they are quite naive (SN is a good reason)

  • and may get teased when they go to secondary school
*they are lying to themselves because it's nice to believe, even though they don't really *they are lying to you (either to get prents or becuse they think you want them to believe)
deste · 14/12/2008 13:55

I would think that anyone one over the age of 10/11 is going to feel a prat trying to defend Santa Clause in the playground, only to realise he is wrong. I think that would be worse than finding out the truth. Some of your children must lead very sheltered lives.

TinselianAstra · 14/12/2008 13:56

By the way I'm definitely not advocating telling children - let them believe and/or play along for as long as they want to.

And 'prents' should have been 'presents', obviously.

alicet · 14/12/2008 14:02

Actually I didn't feel a prat trying to defend Santa in the playground.

And i don't have special needs and wasn't lying to myself.

I had started to doubt it then got one of those printed Santa letters and that convinced me it must be true.

But my parents are most definately NOT creepy.

I think this is ridiculous tbh. How on earth is it a reflection on your parenting whether your child believes or not? I think each parent has to play it by ear and answer questions honestly when their child begins to question it whether that's at 5 or 10. And I don't think it would be posisble to know if your child truely still believes or not unless they come out and say not as clearly there are lots of motivations behind saying you still believe (presents, younger siblings, keeping your parents happy if you think they want you to believe to name just a few).

PlonkerTeatowelOnTheirHeads · 14/12/2008 14:03

Oh FFS - this attitude really pisses me off!

(and what relevance has height got to do with it, is a small 10 year old allowed to believe without parents being creepy? )

My parents told me the 'truth' 2 months before my 10th birthday - I asked the q, they told me the truth (I was gutted btw but thats a whole other thread) I wholeheartedly believed! I can assure you that my parents are not creepy.

10 year old children (and older) can still believe you know. Or do you know their children better than they do?

alicet · 14/12/2008 14:05

Thankyou plonker

Bicnod · 14/12/2008 14:15

Apparently I asked the question when I was three and my mum couldn't lie to me, so I've never believed in Father Christmas. We three kids still wrote letters and left them out for FC with a glass of brandy, a mince pie and some carrots for Rudolph on Christmas Eve - it was all part of the ritual and it was fun... I didn't have to believe FC was real for it to be magical. I think my baby sister believed for a while but I don't think my big brother did. I'm sure my parents were aware that we didn't believe but it didn't matter... it was just part of the Christmas pantomime I'm going to do the whole FC thing with my children (pg with number 1 at the moment) but wouldn't want them to believe longer than their peers as I know how cruel children can be...