to feel uncomfortable being served by woman with tourettes that kept swearing at me?

[racmac]

I went to a well known high street store and was served by a lady who had tourettes. I have no problem with this or any of her ticks BUT she kept saying cunt and wanker - i dont use these words in front of my children so dont expect others to AIBU in expecting that she shouldnt be serving customers?

It was rather disconcerting to be told "thats £20.00 please, cunt, wanker"

Racmac

i can only assume anyone who is worried about their darling dc's hearing (let alone repeating) swear words doesnt have school age children

at my ds's school (ofsted oustanding, middle class area av house prices £4-500k) the language used by a significant proportion of the pupils in the playground at breaktime would make a navvy blush.

it wouldnt bother me in the slightest to be served by a shop assistant with tourettes, in the same way as it wouldnt bother me if the assistant was deaf,partially sighted, in a wheelchair or had any other disability or illness.

'would you really want your child as an adult to be employed in a position where every day he is 'different'?? lots of disabled people work in very high powered jobs but these jobs are suited to their disability.'

errr, why shouldn't disabled people be employed among non-disableds? Should they just stay with their own kind?
Friend of mine has severe cerebral palsy and speaks through an interpreter. he has no issues chairing meetings where the majority can speak. Why should he?
An impairment rarely stops you doing what you want. Its generally others attitudes and physical barriers. dd can work where she wants and should be enabled to do so. My impairment doesn't stop me doing things in environments where evereyone else is different to me. Why should it?
Nothing wrong with being different and your statement suggests there is.
Us disabled people are rarely bigoted against non-disabled cos the chances are, everyone will experience an impairment at some point in their lives.

"the additional tolerance for less than acceptable behaviour that society is prepared to allow its members who have SN."

I am staggered by this comment. Do you have any understanding of what you are saying?

We're all a car crash or a few genetic repeats away from being socially unacceptable btw.

Hurrah for the DDA. Get used to it- you're going to be seeing more socially undesirables around the place.

'Prepared to allow' made me want to cry - think I need to step away from this thread before I swear at people.

Ok, this thread has really made me think and question myself as I am normally very keen for my children to interact with people from walks of life (colour/religion/ablilities/income)

I think the problem (and I guess it's mine) is that swearing is something that naughty able people do. NMC, if I walked into a lift with my kids and you and your DD were in there, my kids would straight away ask what was 'wrong' with your DD. I would answer them honestly whilst trying to preserve your DD's dignity. They would understand and accept it, as children do and I would hope it would be a positive experience for them though actually getting to know your DD would be better for that.

However, I guess my sticking point is explaining that this lady has a disability that naughty non disabled people emulate. I suppose that only applies to tourettes? I'm unsure.

well said jimjams

Yes of course I understand what I am saying.

Would you be happy about your DD (aged 4) seeing a full grown man masturbate (to ejaculation) on a bus? I am not. So I get off. But I do feel a bit resentful that I have to, frankly.

socially acceptable behaviour.

hmm. is it socially acceptable to suggest this woman should not work with the public due to her disability?

i think not.

What a depressing thread. We have come so far with womens right and gay people rights and yet peoples' attitudes to disability on this thread shows how little we seem to have moved with regards disability.

Dont get me started on that bloody awful commercial about what happens to a child if they run across a road...

I haven't read this but from the title you are being unreasonable

No longer the days when anyone deemed less than perfect were hidden in a home on a hill.

If you children even notice explain the syndrome and further their understanding.
Oh and count you lucky stars

I'm still boggling over...would you really want your child as an adult to be employed in a position where every day he is 'different'?? '

myredcardigan - I hope you would say there is nothing 'wrong' with my dd but she has cerebral palsy. She is not 'wrong'. And I hope you would keep it rather short as dd is not a teaching tool and would be rather mortified at people talking about her over her head.

I agree, Jimjams!
Oh God, Anna!
I do not want to be tarred with the same brush that should be smacking you across the face!

Could you please explain the commerical thing?

By sparklestickchick on Sun 30-Nov-08 20:00:56
I think that this thread has touched a nerve with many netters whose children have a disability its no good me saying what all the other posters have said about suitability of work in relation to the disability but when your child was diagnosed did you not inwardly reason with yourself well he cant do such and such a thing but hey he can do this? did you not look at what his capabilities were likely to be?

When Im shopping I dont swear and curse at the cashier and I wouldnt expect it back by all means employ disabled people I wholeheartedly embrace acceptance but surely this is an extreme??

would you really want your child as an adult to be employed in a position where every day he is 'different'?? lots of disabled people work in very high powered jobs but these jobs are suited to their disability.

Not only are m&s being unfair to the lady but also to customers.

luckylady and everyone else Im certainly not suggesting the stock rooms.

When my child was diagnosed, i sat there and balled my eyes out because she has a condition that means that she will have deal with people like the twats on this thread!!

When your out shopping you dont swear at people because your dont have a DISABILITY!! this lady does!! and this is why in the eyes of the LAW it is ok for her to swear at you . And if you wholeheartedly embrace acceptance!! why do you have a problem with this??

And why are M&S being unkind?? like anyone else if this lady doesnt like her job then she can look for another

Yes i am happy for my daughter to spend every working day as differant!! because she is differant!! its part of who she is, hiding her away wont make her normal!! no matter how normal she looks!!

I used to work with a teacher who had a mild form of tourettes. His class got a huge percentage of A and A* in comparison to their predicted grades because he was such an outstanding teacher. Of course it would have been better had he not been allowed near the kids....

Commercial I mean.

NMC, thay would more than likely ask why she was in a wheelchair and would simple say that her perhaps her legs don't work as well as there's. I would then say to DS, 'just like your eyes don't work as well as DD's.' (he wears glasses)
I would feel like I'm being more offensive if I changed the subject and ignored it but then as I said in an earlier post, the lady in Waitrose turned around and thanked me for giving the kids a direct answer.

omg !!

you have no idea what i experience i have with disability.

theres no point having a forum for discussion if any replies are met with hostility.

The cut of it is that some people are suited to some jobs and some arent.

theirs not there's

Well no doubt ds2 and ds3 will when ds1 hits puberty. I suspect they'll take it all in their stride.

myredcardigam. My son (ds1) looks totally normal. Have a look on my profile. Yet he can behave in very socially unacceptable ways. I've mentioned the arse sniffing. He smells strangers a lot, he cant talk, but he shouts and jumps and screams and runs into places he's not allowed. He doesn't understand about queues and can be very noisy. He hates traffic jams so can bang his head on the window if the bus stops. And so on and so forth. All in a 'perfectly normal' body.

I can't say I've had any problem with other children. Not young ones anyway. They're very accepting. Parents aren't always, although many are, and I tend to think the ones that aren't are too shallow to bother with if truth be told. DS2 and DS3 are growing up well adjusted, happy little souls. They love their brother and they've never had to be specifically taught that his behaviour would be unacceptable in them. They just know- because they're NT so social creatures.

sparkles- so how are you going to get round the DDA? Because by law you are no longer allowed to apply that rule in the work place.

If all behaviour that someone cannot help is acceptable (like the masturbator on the bus) then why stop peadophiles working in nurseries? After all it's not they fault is it.

The reason it's confusing is that there is a difference between fault and responsibility. It's not their fault perhaps, but it is their responsibility and they must be restricted because they cannot help doing socially unacceptable things. Just like the masturbator on the bus and the woman swearing at people. It's not about punishment.

I tend to judge people by how they react to dd. And they get one chance only. Any cat bum faces at her and her CP noises and thats them off the list of who there is to be liked.
dd has never had any problems with her classmates (she is in mainstream) but some of the other mums!!!
I am sick and tired of prejudice against disabled people and the way ND's dress it up as 'for their own good' such as 'would you want your child to be the only one who was different?'
Maybe I'll prgramme some swear words into dd's VOCA

leaves the thread.

Under the DDA, it is unlawful for employers to discriminate against disabled people for a reason related to their disability, in all aspects of employment

you can't exclude a pupil with TS for swearing