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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel uncomfortable being served by woman with tourettes that kept swearing at me?

633 replies

racmac · 30/11/2008 17:30

I went to a well known high street store and was served by a lady who had tourettes. I have no problem with this or any of her ticks BUT she kept saying cunt and wanker - i dont use these words in front of my children so dont expect others to AIBU in expecting that she shouldnt be serving customers?

It was rather disconcerting to be told "thats £20.00 please, cunt, wanker"

Racmac

OP posts:
CoteDAzur · 01/12/2008 12:28

"its up to the mythical person what job he or she wants to apply for."

Sure. And it should be up to the employer to decide whether he or she is the best person for the job. Anyone who can't control their language in public (for whatever reason) cannot be the best candidate for a customer service job.

I think you mean "hypothetical", by the way. Ask Fio for clarification. She really wants to "educate" someone today.

FioFio · 01/12/2008 12:28

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noonki · 01/12/2008 12:29

BUT SHE IS CAPABLE OF DOING HER JOB.

it's just puntuated with swear words, which to most is obviously because she has tourettes. If they don't work it out and they complain/ask their friend about it someone should explain the condition to them.

If they still have a problem, they need to take a LONG hard look at themselves and realise they have a problem not her.

2AdventSevenfoldShoes · 01/12/2008 12:31

wheres the personal attack???

2AdventSevenfoldShoes · 01/12/2008 12:32

"I think you mean "hypothetical", by the way. Ask Fio for clarification. She really wants to "educate" someone today."
found it...............

CoteDAzur · 01/12/2008 12:33

Fio - You called people on the other side of the argument "cunts and wankers" at 10:43.

That is a personal attack. A bizarrely foul-mouthed one.

Calling me "ignorant" was also uncalled for. I have a child who was swimming well before she was toilet trained, so yes, would you believe, I am aware that there are swimming nappies and the like, none of which are 100% efficient. Anyway, I was trying to make a point which obviously flew over your head.

Just address the argument, and stop with the ad hominem, if you possibly can. Thank you.

FioFio · 01/12/2008 12:33

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FioFio · 01/12/2008 12:35

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VictorianSqualor · 01/12/2008 12:39

I've only read a large chunk of the beginning so apologies if it's moved on since but everyone just seemed to be saying the same4 thing over and over and it got quite boring.

I think Libra1975 has made some brilliant points.

It's only swearing. Actual swearing is not a problem unless it is directed at someone, then it can become a public order offence but before that it's just a word, nothing more, nothing less.

Children hear swearing all the time and it's all opinion on whether or not these words are offensive/inappropriate. I dislike the words moron and stupid and hate but I have been in a shop where the till broke and the assistant banged it and muttered 'stupid till' do you think anyone would really have upheld my feelings and considered that she were not right for the job because a word she used offended me? Of course not.

Lastly, DD yells out, makes screaming noises and screeches when stressed or over excited, in a similar way to tourettes, other than that she is just as capable as the other children in her year, more so than many, if she were to be unsuccessful in a job application as a librarian because she was unable to be silent I'd be really pissed off.

onager · 01/12/2008 12:42

The first time someone hears it how can they know she wasn't directing it at them?

Seuss · 01/12/2008 12:43

My ds(ASD) has verbal tics now and again and for a while the 'f-word' was one of them. I was ed to start with even though I am fully aware he can't help it but I was not about to lock him in the house until he moved on to something else. We go to soft-play, swimming etc and he runs around shouting 'f'-word'. I'm sure some people were initially shocked and I don't blame them but it is quite obvious he can't help it and no-one ever said anything and children didn't start copying him. I think my point is, we don't HAVE to go to soft-play but it is something ds wants to do, the woman in M&S doesn't HAVE to be on the till but perhaps she wants to.

wannaBe · 01/12/2008 12:44

Hello Fio long time .

onager: "I'd been assuming it was a recent problem. Maybe broken her glasses or lost contacts because no one in their right mind would employ a blind librarian." Why ever not? There are plenty of ways in which to make print accessible to the blind, text to speach software on computers/scanners which can be used to convert print on the page to text on a screen which in turn can be spoken by the tts programme. And all these adaptations are funded by the government.

Maybe this librarian is losing her sight. Maybe it is taking time for the adaptations to be put in place in order for her to do her job effectively, but there's no reason why with the right adaptations she can't do that kind of job. Should she be sacked because she has potentially become disabled then?

onager · 01/12/2008 12:44

Oh and Fio, you just because you can think of a way round that scenario doesn't stop it making a valid point. Ask a grown up to explain that to you. I don't have time right now.

FioFio · 01/12/2008 12:46

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FioFio · 01/12/2008 12:48

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VictorianSqualor · 01/12/2008 12:50

Also, there is a young man that works in tesco near me that has some form of SN, this means he counts the money three or four times before giving you the change. He also talks differently and DD found it quite funny until I explained why he was doing it and that he wasn't just messing about.
People tut and mutter about how long it's taking and get shirty that he asks them three times if they have a clubcard. Should he not do his job?

wannaBe · 01/12/2008 12:50

I imagine that there are paralympians who are doubly incontinent. And some of them are probably swimmers. I seem to have missed the footage of the fecies floating around the pool as they competed for their medals.

needmorecoffee · 01/12/2008 12:51

'thinking of ways round the scenario' is what enabling and support is all about. Removing barrriers if possible.
We calls it the DDA

2AdventSevenfoldShoes · 01/12/2008 12:51

{FioFio and expensive, but thanks for that link, i will be putting on my groups)

Seuss · 01/12/2008 12:52

Swimming pools are 80% poo & wee anyway. Other 20% is plasters and toe-nails.

needmorecoffee · 01/12/2008 12:52

doubly incontinent doesn't mean a cosntant dribble of poo and wee you know!
dd is 'doubly incontinent' but goes at regular intervals like anyone else. You can even hold her on your lap when she's not wearing a nappy. Fancy that.

Threadworrm · 01/12/2008 12:54

Don't forget the 1% ultra-long hairs that trail into the corner of your mouth, Seuss.

Seuss · 01/12/2008 12:54

Sorry NMC - wasn't implying that.

Seuss · 01/12/2008 12:55

ooooooooooo Threadworm - you just made me gag.

wannaBe · 01/12/2008 12:56

and the blood from the women who swim without protection during their period . Wasn't there a thread about that recently?