to feel uncomfortable being served by woman with tourettes that kept swearing at me?

[racmac]

I went to a well known high street store and was served by a lady who had tourettes. I have no problem with this or any of her ticks BUT she kept saying cunt and wanker - i dont use these words in front of my children so dont expect others to AIBU in expecting that she shouldnt be serving customers?

It was rather disconcerting to be told "thats £20.00 please, cunt, wanker"

Racmac

My inlaws are M&S devotees and have offered my ds1 more understanding and unconditional love than most (as they should). They have been very surprised to discover how many of their friends have experience of some kind of disability in their family. Please don't assume the average oap would be up in arms.

Very thought provoking thread.

It is important I think to know if this is actually true.

I say this because I would imagine that if I had tourettes, the last place I would want to work would be in customer services dealing time after time with people who did not know me and werent aware I had a verbal tic.

If we believe this situation hundreds of times a day this woman will be looking up into shocked and upset faces, all day every day, hoping presumably that people grasp the situation and dont react in a hostile manner. You might I suppose get away with it in M and S but front line customer services often involves defusing situations with angry customers and I second the concern that she might end up being verbally or physically abused. And no I dont think she would be dealing with the same sort of reaction if she was for instance, a wheelchair user.

It is the social inappropriatness of the verbal tic that is the issue in this situation. We do not as a society, swear at paying customers, so we do not as paying customers expect to be sworn at. People reacting in unexpected ways makes us very uncomfortable, and for good reason, if social interactions do not go the way we expect, it is slightly frightening because we dont know what will happen next. If you have time to know that person this ceases to be an issue, but in customer services this is clearly not an option.

Why would you, given this particular tic, not prefer to work in a situation were your coworkers knew you and your verbal tic was forgotten, and ceased in fact to be a disability because it would cease to be a factor in how well you did you job. If any of us were asked to describe good customer service it would based on polite friendly interaction- all you have to go on in a short interaction like paying for clothes. Shouting obsenities does not result in a polite friendly interaction, it is a shocking uncomfortable situation, because it is unexpected from someone working a till

It seems so unlikely to me that a store would think this was the best place to use this woman's skills or that some one with tourettes would chose this position.

YANBU for not wanting to hear swear words but you don't always get what you want in life I am afraid. The rights of the lady in question to do the job that she has chosen is more important than people having to hear a few swear words. Don't forget that she has to live with her condition day in day out and you only had to hear her for a very short time.

I thought this topic sounded familiar. There was a thread on the TES forum a couple of years ago which was identical to the OP. The poster claimed to have been served by an assistant with Tourettes in M&S and was asking whether it was appropriate for her to have been employed in that particular role.

The thread provoked a lengthy debate, but most people came to the conclusion that the story simply wasn't true.

The reason? This shop assistant would be at constant risk of verbal or even physical abuse from members of the public who didn't understand about Tourettes Syndrome. Arguing the rights and wrongs of disablility discrimination is irrelevant in this case. Her employers have a duty of care to make sure she is not subjected to abuse in the workplace.

not sure if this is a wind up?

but no, yanbu in this instance. being called a wanker by a shop assistant is not acceptable, even if it is involuntary.

Incidently I absolutely think that children need to be exposed to differences, and get matter of fact explanations of disability and be shown that there is no less value to a life if it involves diability. However I dont think a random swearing incident in M and S would be useful in this process.

Prehaps its the same troll, who visted TES.

There are loads of jobs someone with Tourettes could do, but I would be surprised if someone with vocal tics would want to work in customer service

bloody hell the pure ignorance on this thread astounds me
the comments by anna and onegar are really stupid IMO.

But Trixie what would you consider as qualifications for this job? I'd say being able to speak English without swearing at customers was the single most basic qualification.

I think the op is a provocative windup/trolling tbh.

it's not true, she wouldn't be put on the till serving the public, as mrsfs said, for her protection!

mabanana it worked as it brought the idiots out
imo

mabanana - it's based upon a point system of professional qualifications, experience and the interview. You cannot take her disability into account at all. It's not like the poor woman is swearing intentionally.

Then again I'm not sure if this is a wind-up as the op isn't making themselves heard recently.

I think it's a shame as it's upset some parents of disabled children, upset others who have been portrayed as bigots when I don't really think they are, and caused divisions between peple who I think are all nice people. A good rseult for a troll though

Is anyohne else finding theis thread freakishly slow?

i disagree there are some bigots one her(at least 2) sadly there are also plenty out in the real world.
I will make sure dd never has a job, just incase she might upset a little person. the tax payer can keep her instead.

was the face directed at me geordieminx. Because I think it's a justifiable question to ask if you do have a blue badge as your post about disabled parking would be totally different if you were in fact entitled to park there than if you weren't.

Tourettes is not a disablity in the majority of cases, unless its very extreme. Certainly I would not consider myself to be disabled in anyway.

I have found many of the comments extremely offensive on this thread. Ie. comparing a neurological conditon to wanking or paedophila, or jokes about parking in disabled spaces. Tourettes is a real condition and its as mean to make jokes about it as it is to make racist jokes or call someone with cerabral palsy spazz.

I shall shock people. I work full time, I am happily married and employer has no idea I have tourettes. Certainly they have not yet complained about my hands shaking occassionally. Admitally I have no verbal tics.

Ulimately its up to M&S who they employ in customer service. Personally I am surprised that someone with such complex verbal tics would want such a job.

I suppose my response is tempered by the fact that my children hear profanities all the time (from me - I have a fucking awful gob on me )....so they would probably ask me questions afterwards but be generally unmoved by the experience

Would it bother me? - I'd be taken aback but actually quite impressed with the store for their positive employment practices. I would be a bit worried for the woman however, in case some ill educated nob end took exception and was verbally agressive to her...so on balance, I would like to see her in a less customer facing role (for her sake, not the customers)

This is a very interesting thread. First of all, I don't think the OP is being unreasonable to feel uncomfortable in the situation - whether you agree or not with whether the person should have been employed in this situation doesn't alter your personal reaction, and if you (personally) feel uncomfortable on hearing swear words, then that is not unreasonable.

As to whether it is suitable for the woman to employed in this role, that's a different question. I can see the point of view that the woman is just as entitled to the job as anyone else, and I would not bat an eyelid to be served by someone who was in a wheelchair, had green hair, dribbled, had facial tics, was a cross-dresser or many other circumstances. However, I would find it very uncomfortable and embarrassing to be served by someone who swore, even though I realise it is not their fault.

And I say this on my own behalf, not just because I would not wish my child to hear it. Personally I can just about cope with "bloody" or "shit", but find swearing of a sexual nature very hard to deal with. I literally cringe if I hear it. Maybe this makes me Prude of the Year etc, but I really find it painful (in the same way that to me, very loud noises, being late for things and untidiness are painful).

I know that many people won't understand this, but if I went to a shop and heard this language, I would have to leave. I would also find it very hard to hear this sort of language on the bus etc (just as I find it almost impossible to hear children screaming/crying in a confined space - sometimes I have had to get off the bus before my stop to get away from it). And I pass no judgment on those people (who make the noise, swear etc) I just say that I would find it uncomfortable. It's a very difficult situation, because I would not want to deny someone like this a job, but equally would be quite horrified to hear someone saying these words (OK probably my own hang-ups, but I have honestly tried to accept them and find it very difficult).

I have read some this but as the daughter of a disabled man I shall keep silent as I F*ING hated people being ignorant towards him. and no he didn't swear or have a tic he was in a wheelchair.

IGNORANCE IS AN AWFUL DISABILITY TO HAVE.

People with disabilities should be able to work - no question about it. In this particular case, the woman was not able to do her job properly. Good customer service does not involve swearing at customers, whether this swearing is involuntary or not. It could be dangerous to the woman herself, and could offend and alienate a huge number of customers - not because they objected to being served by a disabled person, but because they objected to someone swearing at them.

As others have pointed out, some people are prevented from doing particular jobs because of their skillset. I have bad eyesight, so could never be a pilot. I am a woman, so couldn't join some branches of the armed forces. It doesn't mean that I am being discriminated against.

Sorry but anyone who witnessed this surely would be able to understand that this lady has a disability and is not being deliberatly rude. FGS she has a right to be in public, if people cannot cope with the fact that DISABILITY does exist and that disabled people should not be hidden away. So what if she swore is anyone permantly harmed by it? probably not.

What next people who drool through a disability should not be in shops either?

www.tes.co.uk/searchResults.aspx?keywords=tourettes&area=staffroom TES link (2nd item down - but whole thread won't open)

Doesn't necessarily mean it's a wind up. Might be the same lady.

I don't have Tourettes but the disability I do have I wouldn't want to be working in a customer service based job with because I don't think people would understand if I lost my temper (to put it simplistically/ politely). If I was facing customers all day I can imagine what state I would be getting into and I wouldn't want to do that to myself or anyone else. Maybe that's just me.

It does look quite trolly (seems to be a night for them) though.