Wishing I'd done Law instead of trying to help mums via the NHS

[treedelivery]

So this will be the only negativity I ever post, but GRRRRRRRRR

I crossed Law out and put Midwifery on my ucas form 10 years ago.
Now I am in a loving marriage with a wonderful man who was today made redundant after 13 years, who is a blue collar worker and therefore we are fairly knackered financially.

If only I'd gone for the career with prospects and earning potential, instead of thinking I could be nice to people and it would in some way feed my family. I've had 4 hours sleep after a night shift, been treated mainly with sarcasm and rudeness by all I've been in contact with through work [qoute - 'I've been on this phone for 23 rings trying to find out how my granddaughter is doing and it's a disgrace' - never mind that I couldn't answer the phone as was breaking my very pregnant back trying to get said granddaughter's baby to breastfeed - trying to support her in her choices] and if only I'd done law my earnings would mean we aren't trying to work out if we can save the car.

AIBU to think it isn't worth it for little thanks and rubbish working conditions and shouldn't I have chased the money and comfort and respect and lifestyle.

Am feeling like I need to duck - I know there are many worse off, I know many midwives/maternity services have really pissed off a lot of people on mumsnet and rightly so in many cases, but today I think I will allow myself an hour of letting the bile out.

It's a rite of passage love. Lost opportunities! I have many of them. There will be more to come so choose your path just as wisely now!

You will weather it. Cant change the past only the future and all that...

And actually midwives and maternity services have served a lot of us well too. People only carp about it when it goes wrong. You want something to blame, thing is it's not that easy. 'Ride the wave and it will crest and subside.'

Sorry to hear about your dh's job - it's a nightmare out there.

Funnily enough I'm in the opposite position to you - trained in a professional job and now wish I'd done something more caring.

I'm sure you don't want to hear it, but I really admire and respect you for the job you do. Far more than if you were a lawyer!

Am soooo pissed off though because I spend alot of my time being in the camp that does get the blame and is carped on at when things go wrong. Even though sometimes we tried and did our best. So yes now I'd like someone to blame, who can I carp on at - me! Should have done law!

Thanks Ico and friendless.

I was just thinking the other day WHY didn't I put down midwifery or nursing on my UCAS form, I ended up doing Microbiology, interesting but sod all career prospects where I lived so had to move to SE England, have now moved back to Scotland and have no chance of going back to that career now.

Grass is always greener isn't it?

I do realise Law is no easy ride - have had dealings with family lawyers through work and the stuff they deal with is exceptionally challenging and upsetting.

I'd def have gone for the less human contact branches of law. Who no doubt still have stresses and earn their money like th erest of us.

Treedelivery I had an absolutely fantastic midwife at the birth of my DD and I'd just like to say a genuine thank you to you for the wonderful work you do.

treeelivery, I am also in a caring profession

I am intelligent, articulate, educated

sometimes I get treated like shit

yesterday I saved a life (literally and truly)

I won't get thanks for it

I will watch my back daily for my slightest mistake will be pounced on from a great height

such is, working in the NHS

am the opposite, wished i'd done midwifery not law.

but i am a doula now and aim to study midwifery in teh future

being a lawyer is not a bed of roses, lawyers often vilified, long hours, not always a lot of money and a huge amount of stress

grass is always greener, isn;t it?

treedelivery - because you do what you do you are there in the moments when peoples whole lives change, when a new life and a new love enters their world. There's rubbish stuff to and you are woefully underpaid and underappreciated (I'm NHS management - tell me about it!) but it's still a wonderful career path. You will get over this blip and at the end of your working life you will be able to look back and say that yes you didn't make a fortune but you helped goodness knows how many lives into the world and you will have been there when some lives ended as well and that is an awesome job. Be proud of yourself - you are amazing.

I am a criminal barrister and often wish i was in a more caring profession.I just wanted to say admire your work.

I am just so,so glad I got out of it when I did. I am so much happier now.

treedelivery, my ds was born two years ago and I still regularly think about the midwife who delivered ds and two of the midwives who looked after us during our week in hospital. They were amazing and I wish I did something half as worthwhile. FWIW I often htink about careers I could have had, I think it's pretty normal

OP I really feel for you and I often carp on about NHS and bad midwives etc but I know there are some wonderful people working their hardest for the NHS and I think you should def be paid more and have better working conditions. I know when I complain that the faults lie within the system and not the individuals, you all have too much to do. I seriously considered training as a mw but decided I couldn't hack it. But you know maybe when things pick up financially you could retrain as something else. I don't know if that is practical.

God thank you everyone - didn't really expect the sympathy more of a YUABU!!!

Thank you. I do deep down know many appreciate any efforts I make- and actually I never went into it to be thanked if you see what I mean. Just to tryand help.

Is it normal for the OP to think they are being unreasonable, and come to conclusion they are just spitting their dummy out?

My midwife for DS2 was lovely, and my midwife for DS1 was such a hero I can still remember her name and face.... she was lovely. Midwives are amazing and you can make such a difference!

Like chequers - I want to say thank you. Birth of ds might well have been classed as a nightmare but in fact it was beautiful - because of the wonderful, amazing woman who was the midwife. I still think of her at odd moments and at every birthday.
I never managed to say thank you - a general thank you card to the ward was all I was up to immediately afterwards and when I sent hunting for her later, she had left and I wasn't able to thank her in person.
Sadly, you're not in a profession where those who are most grateful are in a position to tell you how wonderful you are.
But you are.
The money thing really sucks.

cleaning staff, ward clerks and secreteries - only ones who know what the bejesus is going on generally.

Oh Lord bawling now!! Thank you so much everyone. Would get drunk but pregnant.

I know what you mean. I have a law degree but am a teacher. I sometimes think 'what if' -I would probably now be earning about 3 times my current salary...but at least I get summer holidays!

FWIW, i think most people think the lack of midwives is shocking, not midwives themselves. The ones at DD's birth were amazing.

treedelivery, you'd have other bad stuff to put up with as a lawyer and people would really hate you, instead of taking out their (sometimes understandable) frustrations on you. Be glad of your choice!

Ignore stupid people who carp at you for not answering the phone in 2 rings.

I used to say to rellies who where obnoxious that I was just caring for their son/daughter/mum/dad/ etc but had to stop what I was doing to answer the phone.

Remember, it says on your badge registered midwife, not registered telephonist/receptionist.

Working for the nhs is crap. People think they have the right to treat us like shit. But the one person in 100 who is pleased with the care and takes time to say thanks is worth the 99 others who are rude.

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