Wishing I'd done Law instead of trying to help mums via the NHS

[treedelivery]

So this will be the only negativity I ever post, but GRRRRRRRRR

I crossed Law out and put Midwifery on my ucas form 10 years ago.
Now I am in a loving marriage with a wonderful man who was today made redundant after 13 years, who is a blue collar worker and therefore we are fairly knackered financially.

If only I'd gone for the career with prospects and earning potential, instead of thinking I could be nice to people and it would in some way feed my family. I've had 4 hours sleep after a night shift, been treated mainly with sarcasm and rudeness by all I've been in contact with through work [qoute - 'I've been on this phone for 23 rings trying to find out how my granddaughter is doing and it's a disgrace' - never mind that I couldn't answer the phone as was breaking my very pregnant back trying to get said granddaughter's baby to breastfeed - trying to support her in her choices] and if only I'd done law my earnings would mean we aren't trying to work out if we can save the car.

AIBU to think it isn't worth it for little thanks and rubbish working conditions and shouldn't I have chased the money and comfort and respect and lifestyle.

Am feeling like I need to duck - I know there are many worse off, I know many midwives/maternity services have really pissed off a lot of people on mumsnet and rightly so in many cases, but today I think I will allow myself an hour of letting the bile out.

well you could have gone into law, into the 'less human contact' branches

and you could be on the last train home now, having spent yet another evening at work after starting at 8am, because the client wants this or that

and not seeing your kids (if you had time to have any)

and loathing and despising your boss and yourself

and worrying every morning that it's you who will get the redundancy notice

so it could have been like that

but instead you have done a job which is truly, wonderfully worthwhile and valuable

you have given strength and care to so many people and been in at the most important moment of so many little people's lives

so maybe it wasn't such a bad choice?

Bless you dilemma. I am being unreasonable. I must try harder to not let life interfere with how I feel about work. It's just a killer of a hard job to do when your not 100%

Anyway my spelling would have meant I could have never ever done law and been a sucess.

Grammer not great either.

My midwife was lovely I prayed for everyone who helped me through very difficult labour and made the effort to buy all of them presents.(I Prayed they all had good lives,i know this sounds ott but thats how much it meant.)

treedelivery, thank god for people like you who put other things than earning pots of money higher in their "reasons for doing a job" - someone has to do it or we'd all be screwed.

You wait until your DH gets another job and your finances settle down again; and you get a lovely thank you card from a new mum you helped with her baby; and you'll be so glad that you joined the caring profession as that is the sort of person you are.

At least no one makes bad jokes about 200 MWs at the bottom of the sea being a good start (sorry legal types!)

Big hugs to you - let the rants of the ignorant ones wash past you - they couldn't do your job in a million years, I bet.

Well iheartdusty - I have all you list, including the great bit at the bottom. I have commuted to work 1 1/2 hours each way for 4 years, many midwives around me have been rationalised, redeployed, given reduced hours, reduced pay, and redundancy.

And today my DH too. It's like the pitfalls of professionalism without the kick ass salary!

Midwifery salaries aren't bad don't get me wrong. But before the brain rot of childbirth I was of law/medicine standard - but I don't seem to be getting the financial payback in terms that help my poor family so I do wonder - wrong choice?

Hearing some positive vibes is a huge help though - there was a reason to all this when I chose it. Thank you.

Y'know, I always try to kepp secret I'm a midwife until I know people well. Especially places like this or if meeting new people. I've had people just let loose on me or looked utterly disgusted, keep their distance or just stop talking to me, or walk away. I've had many say 'Oh I wish you'd been mine instead of the...' you can imagine the rest. That's the most hard to hear as No dount someone is saying that to someother midwife with me in mind!!!

I can't believe I've outed myself!!

Maybe lawyers/doctors/nurses and other feel a bit liek this too?

keep

doubt

like

tut .

Only read your OP, tree, but chin up. At least you know you are doing a job where you can look yourself in the eye every morning and think to yourself, "At least what I do matters. I'm not a waste of a human skin like some bloody hedge fund manager".

And there are a lot of lawyers - even in the City - being quietly eased out of their jobs at the moment - without even redundancy pay to cushion the blow. Some of them at least will have partners and families to support.

YANBU Thats rubbish i really feel for you, i'm a nurse and know what a shit day feels like in he NHS. I have wished i'd done something else so often but i have managed to set up my own business but only because through the shit times and there has been many, i've kept my job in the nhs as well and its paid me a regular wage. I can thank the NHS for one thing and that is the drive to do something else. The thing is if your anything like me you'll go in tomorrow and someone will thank you and it'll be all worthwhile again.

If its any consolation my best friend chose law, she was made redundant last week 1 month after getting married so theres no guarentees. I hope everything gets better for you, hopefully something good will come out of he bad times xx

I did law, started working for a law firm and I really hated it so ended up training as a paeds nurse.

You are missing nothing. Law looks fun but it's form filling, making money for partners. If you care about people then the NHS was a wise choice. The grass isn't always greener.

yes, I am mostly a secret nhs worker

You could always name change....

But think it's H/Vs who tend to get battered on MN. Usually for good reason, and tends to be specific.

But don't think I've seen much midwife complaining as a general rule.

As you can see my spelling also held me back, god dammit.

I haven't read the rest of the thread but wanted to add that the midwives who looked after me during and after the births of my 2 dc (and there were quite a few of them)were all wonderful, very supportive and caring.

This is especially true of the midwife who was with me as my ds was delivered by c-section and who I still see from time to time. It actually gives me shivers to think she was there at that most amazing time.

All the midwives who looked after me in the weeks I was in hospital before dd was born were great too.

I think you do an amazing job and hope things improve for your dh and his work.

Thanks ilovemydog - hadn't thought of name change. I don't have any reason to resent a bit of midwife complaining really though, do I. It's fair enough if people feel like they have a complaint against the services.

And be no point to mumsnet if we couldn't say things for fear of offending whoever.

I always feel a bit sheepish though, probably silly.

I think people can sometimes forget health workers are human though, they might have hangovers, PMT, dh might have left them night before - just can't always be the perfect professional. Much as I'd like to say I go to work everyday like Mary Poppins, somedays I can be grumpy like anyone.

Heh heh, just borrowed this from another thread for you, treedelivery:
Don't push me cause I'm close to the edge
I'm trying not to lose my head, ah huh-huh-huh
[2nd and 5th: ah huh-huh-huh]
[4th: say what?]
It's like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder
How I keep from going under
It's like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder
How I keep from going under

Repeat as necessary.

But will try not to be having recieved all this amazing karma!!

thumbwitch that's one of my mantras - I walk around muttering it under my breath

Midwives are angels. There are some grumpy ones(there are!) but they are few and far between. Your job must be very long hours, unrewarding at times etc more than a lot of jobs I can think of. But on every shift you are changing someones life forever. Are you my midwife? She's pregnant......

Until the day dd2 delivers, and I've weaned off the boob I will make it my mantra.

Then I'll hit the gin. Woo Hoo!

mumof2andabit - maybe! If so sorry for being grumpy to your Grandmother on the phone!

Lots of miserable lawyers out there. I have a few friends retraining at the moment, overworked, not that well paid, treated like by partners, see job as pointless.

At least with midwifery you know if we didn't have them, mothers and children would definitely die.

With lawyers we could all represent ourselves at the end of the day (and increasingly many are doing so because they are too bloody expensive).

Keep on saving lives ... more people are utterly grateful for your services than you would ever, ever know.

Really feel for you treedelivery, not a nice situation to be in. I really hope things come together quickly for your DH.

But for what it's worth I want to praise you for the fantastic job I'm sure you do. You sound like one of the good ones! I too am a midwife, but am ashamed to admit that I left my last job as a midwife three years ago. (Funny, ashamed isn't something I've felt about the decision before. Your post and your obvious determination to carry on, and all the praise from MNers has made me think! Though also very happy with what I do now!)

You do a fantastic job, I KNOW that! It is thankless and the managers are generally rubbish and inflexible and often downright rude. The sisters are intensely irritating, and as for the visitors, people on the pnone etc...!

But just remember the last card you got from a patient, or the last woman who said she wanted (or even actually tried!) to hug you. It IS worth it. You ARE appreciated. Those are the bits that get forgotten in the heat of a busy shift. But they're the bits that matter and they're why you went in to the job.

Keep up the good work. (And enjoy your maternity leave when it comes! )

PS
Koonjul, 1987
Alice, 1998
Gillian, 2001

These were my midwives, I know their names. I do not know the names of anyone I have dealt with about legal matters. What does that say??