Wishing I'd done Law instead of trying to help mums via the NHS

[treedelivery]

So this will be the only negativity I ever post, but GRRRRRRRRR

I crossed Law out and put Midwifery on my ucas form 10 years ago.
Now I am in a loving marriage with a wonderful man who was today made redundant after 13 years, who is a blue collar worker and therefore we are fairly knackered financially.

If only I'd gone for the career with prospects and earning potential, instead of thinking I could be nice to people and it would in some way feed my family. I've had 4 hours sleep after a night shift, been treated mainly with sarcasm and rudeness by all I've been in contact with through work [qoute - 'I've been on this phone for 23 rings trying to find out how my granddaughter is doing and it's a disgrace' - never mind that I couldn't answer the phone as was breaking my very pregnant back trying to get said granddaughter's baby to breastfeed - trying to support her in her choices] and if only I'd done law my earnings would mean we aren't trying to work out if we can save the car.

AIBU to think it isn't worth it for little thanks and rubbish working conditions and shouldn't I have chased the money and comfort and respect and lifestyle.

Am feeling like I need to duck - I know there are many worse off, I know many midwives/maternity services have really pissed off a lot of people on mumsnet and rightly so in many cases, but today I think I will allow myself an hour of letting the bile out.

I think what gets members of all the caring professions and jobs - is that

1 - We cannpt constantly be Florence Nightengales happy just to help and able to cope with no food or fluid for 12 hours in the real knowledge we are angels. Actually I am no angel, I have PMT and arguments with my husband and money worries and all the things that stop people in any job being less than perfect everyday.

Except the difference is if I fall below par for any amount of time I might do some one or some baby some serious damage.

At best I'll be remebered and slated by that person for life as all the horrible things we hear the public calling us, ruiner of birthing experience, spoiler of bonding and so on.

2 - If I have a run in with a call centre, I can expect to be cut off should I get seriously abusive. Dentists, lawyers, tradesmen have the ultimate say so in being able to remove their services and demand payment. I am expected to thank people for drawing my failings to the fore and admit that all their issues regarding any expeience they had are probably down to the service provided by me or 'us'. Fact that, for exmple, had an individual lived in developing Africa they and their child wouldn't have survived the labour God sent them doesn't seem to factor into it. 1 in 26 die in Africa just because they get pregnant.

3 - It is rare indeed for any patient or client in my world to be able to say, I hate what your doing to me or my baby but I can see that ultimatley it may be in my best interest. People generally seem to take the view we are trying to spoil things for them and they need to fight for their wishes. Even after explaining how their wishes, whilst valid, may be less than appropriate management because of A,B or C - they then seem to regard that as MY fault. Yet it is not my fault someone has raised BP or their baby is Jauniced or their labour is slow etc etc etc

So not only do I need to operate at level perfect, I am held responsible if the journey someone in my care experiences is less than perfect. And every one has a different idea of what perfect is, so imagine that!!

End of Rant.

On the origional reason for this thread - basically I don't earn enough and wish I'd done something better paid for the amount of putting my arse on the line that I do, I'll start a new thread soon along the lines of 'can a family live on £30 a week, that's used to having £100' as it looks like this is what we are facing.

This charity deal with some of the most depressing child birth outcomes and when I first saw one of their poster campaigns I cried and cried.
I tried to put one on our ward - figured it was a great time to advertise what women go through and make us all gratefull we can [hopefully] say we and our babies are well.

Told I couldn't obviously, it might upset people. Presumambly by showing us how lucky we are to have a safe country to live in?

www.worldwidefistulafund.org

People still get fistulas here too - not all medical staff are as on the ball as you must be!

But I do admit most of the time we get a brilliant deal from NHS maternity services these days.

Thankfully rare though, from my experience anyway, due to unavoidable circumstances - when people have trauma due to fgm maybe? or blatent mis managment [most must be management related surely].

happily not something we just have to accept as a by product of birthing, and walk days to have diagnosed before heading into the wilderness because our village won't have us back.

Unlike my by product of birthing piles which are blooming agony!!

Thanks Habbibu, I'll bear this advice in mind perhaps 2010 when Mat leave over and have satisfied contract by going back to work. Live 50 miles from nearest Uni not helpfull but would commute for the experience alone.

Triple post - sorry.

OOOHHHHH I don't want to face tommorrow!!
DH has to ring the jobcentre to make appointments to 'sign on', we have to speak to the mortgage insurance people [dear GOD hear me and let us be covered the 75% of mortgage I think we are], we have to ring all the companies around to see if any vaccancies, I'll be child tax credit queen and sussing out if can get surestart grant and free milk, ring liquidators to push for copy of contract and notice of redundancy and to clarify if dh getting a november paycheck, ring my payroll as I've paid emergency tax in new job, ring old payroll as they haven't paid my holiday pay, ring plumber to negotiate repayment of bill,

oh Lordy!!

TD - good luck with all your phonecalls, and specially good luck to your DH with finding something else.
keeping my fingers crossed for you...

Thank you Thumbwitch.

Bit ashamed of my rant now

Makes it sound like I think patients are the enemy, I don't. Am just fragile and sensitive to everything at moment. Even noise and touch!! Clearly overstimulated.

Havne't even got dressed today.

We need a lip wobble face!!

VERY ashamed of rant now! Will turn into the midwife from hell and be horrible to everyone at this rate!

Will have got over myself and be a nice person by Wed [longday delivery suite]

Yes I am being unreasonable

treedelivery - don't be ashamed of your rant. Many of us know the feeling. And it is rubbish at times. I find it easier in a smaller unit but as said above, you can only make the best decisions you can at the time. I hope your DH finds another job and things become less stressful and soon.

hell its better oot than in

One of my friends gave up law to become a dog walker - apparently there is more money there...

treedelivery.....
chin up...and you rant away!

another woman here who just wants to give you some much needed support.... please know that for everyone who has openly thanked you, you have undoubtedly touched a whole lot more who were unable to express their grattitude at the time....

i had a horrific birth first time around and was cared for by the most AMAZING midwife who really touched me with her kindness and caring....it was only about 3 weeks ago that i literally bumped into her and was able to thank her....my ds is 8 next week! i have thought about her on many many occasions, but was too messed up to do anything about it...

i really hope your dh gets a new job soon....whatever it is. hopefully, this may bring a turning point for you and your family, and could even result in a new and exciting opportunity for you all!

good luck. x

being a lawyer can really suck.

Working 60 hour weeks.

almost ALL your clients are troublemakers (who are suing someone after all)and often are not nice people.

Clients will shout at you.

not a dream job.

treedelivery - just a quickie to say that I think midwives rock ! We had the most fantastic care all the way through pregnancy, labour and beyond. I couldn't believe how the midwives used to be running up and down the ward from deliveries to answer the phone and open the door when the ward clerk wasn't there - what a waste of resources and it was no wonder some of them looked so demented at times !
On the alternative career side - My DH worked in the NHS and re trained as a lawyer from scratch. It took years and years and when he finally got a job as a laywer he seriously hated it and left !!!

awww you poor thing....
hope things start looking up for you!

If you'd trained as a lawyer you might not have met your dh and having the loving relationship you've got now.

Thank you everyone!!

It's amazing just how much a thread like this can help, thank you thank you thank you.

Will read it all through Tuesday night before long day Wed!!

Can I just say, that whilst I have had my hicups with midwifes...I do realise they have a vry important and also very difficvult job to do....especially when working for the NHS as tehy are bound by so many legislations and what not....
some are definietely a bit crap (midwives that is) but I think most are brilliant, but are limited by working in the NHS without any better alternatives, and doable alternatives, available to them....
we need more midwives and they should be better paid...just as we need more nurses, with better pay...possibly need many ledss managers/ and possibly a few less doctors...not sure about the latter, tbh....but anyway less chiefs and more indians...

I understand.
Was on a thread the other day where someone (a lawyer) said that they could 'easily' become a nurse.
I could have cried!
Have done paediatric nusing for 20 yrs,through thick and thin.
Sometimes love it,sometimes hate it.
But I always feel proud to tell people that I am a nurse.You should too.
We should be proud to work for the NHS
We studied long and hard,easily to degree level,but many people just see us as (excuse me) bum wipers or the like.
It really pi**es me off.
Tree,you are great.

ah Chandon, I don't think anyone thinks being a lawyer is a dream job - just that you generally get paid less in the NHS and still have to take the abuse.

my midwife was amazing

The midwives who delivered DC4 5 months ago gave me the most magical day of my life. If I could re-live any day, it would be that one. I'm a lawyer and I bet none of my clients can say that about me.

Sorry you're having a crap time though