Wishing I'd done Law instead of trying to help mums via the NHS

[treedelivery]

So this will be the only negativity I ever post, but GRRRRRRRRR

I crossed Law out and put Midwifery on my ucas form 10 years ago.
Now I am in a loving marriage with a wonderful man who was today made redundant after 13 years, who is a blue collar worker and therefore we are fairly knackered financially.

If only I'd gone for the career with prospects and earning potential, instead of thinking I could be nice to people and it would in some way feed my family. I've had 4 hours sleep after a night shift, been treated mainly with sarcasm and rudeness by all I've been in contact with through work [qoute - 'I've been on this phone for 23 rings trying to find out how my granddaughter is doing and it's a disgrace' - never mind that I couldn't answer the phone as was breaking my very pregnant back trying to get said granddaughter's baby to breastfeed - trying to support her in her choices] and if only I'd done law my earnings would mean we aren't trying to work out if we can save the car.

AIBU to think it isn't worth it for little thanks and rubbish working conditions and shouldn't I have chased the money and comfort and respect and lifestyle.

Am feeling like I need to duck - I know there are many worse off, I know many midwives/maternity services have really pissed off a lot of people on mumsnet and rightly so in many cases, but today I think I will allow myself an hour of letting the bile out.

My Mw literally saved my life after I told her I "felt strange" a few hours after a 28 hour labour and emergency CS, instead of thinking silly woman she's knackered, she spotted signs that I had HELPP, got the docs and I was in ITU within 1 hour. I think of her every year on my DS1's birthday. Your job makes a real difference and people will be truly grateful for something you did today whether it was a big thing like my MW or a small thing like making a brand new mum that post delivery piece of toast. I guess lawyers make a difference too but surely not in such a direct way?

Lawyers can make a difference but my argument was that we probably wouldn't die without them, or certainly not so often, anyway.

You are so right about the toast. I remember after a horrifically bad m/c being carefully nursed back to health and sanity on a p/n ward by a team of midwives who brought me tea and toast all the time as I lay cossetted in a side room. No five star hotel could have been better. No nursing could have been more effective.

Good point Boffinmum - for me it's:
Ann 1997
Joan 2001
Kate 2007
I will never forget their faces and what they did for me and mine.

although apparently I can forget my own daughters year of birth it was 1998!!!!!!

NorthernLurker - You've got age gaps similar to what my kids will have - how did the older ones get on?

TD I do know how you feel...I was going to do medicine, but changed my mind at the last minute and went for a nursing degree instead (long story..but it WAS the right thing for me)
However I still occassionally struggle with the lack of status, perceived lack of knowledge/brains and the money!! (and the flippant remarks that many would never let their DC become nurses...

But what I do now gives me a fantastic work/life balance and with caring comes huge rewards that money absolutely cannot buy.

Hang in there and good luck to your DH job searching!

sorry you are having a tough time at mo.grass always looks greener on bad days doesn't it.

maybe also recall the wonderful moments you have had too.times you have really made a difference

congratulations on your pg,are you well

The NHS can seem very bleak at times (I work for them too). I think most MW seem to be lauded on MN with good reason. Try being a HV - we get blasted on MN (but with good reason from what I read).

Just remember that some people out there remember you with delight - take a look at the thank you cards. I get less of these as a HV than I did as a MW but the ones I have had are treasured as they remind me that I went into the NHS to support people and these people feel I did a good job.

It can seem a thankless task sometimes - and remember - some people will ALWAYS be unreasonable for their own reasons - not your fault.

Oh, I know the feeling, treedelivery. Am utterly exhausted after a 13-hour shift with not so much as a cup of tea yesterday, which ended in being snarled at by a woman whom I'd just spent the last two hours talking with, negotiating for with the doctors and generally being the best support I possibly could be to her, so she could have something resembling the delivery she hoped for, despite massive (and genuine) contraindications for everything she wanted to do... I have never been so pleased to end a shift and get the hell out of there. Add to that a deeply unsupportive co-ordinator for whom you can do nothing right... you know the deal.

But...but... I still don't think I could do anything else, and believe me I'm more than capable of loads of other stuff! I had a conversation with a colleague just an hour ago, saying why on earth did we choose this profession - but neither of us would really change it. I don't think those outside the NHS have a clue how hard it is - and actually many inside don't either. The acute nature of childbirth makes it a lot more 'full-on' almost all the time - I don't think there is anything to compare with the pressures of working on a labour or postnatal ward (but perhaps I would say that!) That's not to dismiss anyone else, any nurse or doctor or whatever, but simply to say I know exactly where you're coming from in your 'grass is greener' feeling.

We make a difference. It's really tough, but it is worth it, in the end. You will have helped thousands of women in your career, you will have changed their lives forever. There is no other profession that can say that - and especially not a lawyer!

Chin up, and best of luck to you and your dh

I worked in the legal profession, made quite a bit of money, but there are a lot of tossers in the job - people who aren't hugely bright but have an inflated opinion of themself. I enjoyed the cut and thrust, and did it as long as I continued to enjoy it, but eventually I started thinking 'Does this really have integrity? Do I believe in what I'm doing?'. And then I changed direction!!

We all have these moments though dont we.

I was asualted a couple of weeks ago, while at work doing a 14 hour double shift, caring for a patient.
(am in critical care) After finding out that i have to work on Christmas day non negotiable.

So....wtf am i doing here did cross my mind.

But i couldnt do any thing else, truly. not every day is like that, not every patient and relative is like that. Ive often had to stay up after night shifts and felt like eath walking.

Just the day before i tripped over a TV cable, flat on my face spead eagled on the floor.

From behind some closed curtains came a little voice that said
"is some one hurt? Did some one fall?"
I can do mouth to mouth you know, i will do it if you need me??"
Twas a 92 year old gentleman.
Laugh! I nearly wet myself, twas wonderful and lovely and jsut gorgeous.

chin up chuck

DEATh walking meant to say

Thanks all for words of wisdom and comfort.

Am still pissed at the job and the £14.50 per hour - the lovely goodwill and thank you cards wont stop me having to cut my maternity leave from 9 months to about 10 minutes.

I'm hoping as we let the unemployemnt soak in and get to grips with just what we're up against financially I'll end up being gratefull for ANY job.

Thanks everyone - will store up the thread for when I'm hormone desperate woman.

Ace hearing from other hcp's and midwives who have had the exact shift I had.

£14.50 - lucky you

If its any consolation - i am a Solicitor - it took years of studying, years of training and i was (now SAHM) working in a legal aid practice.

The money was not brilliant, the legal aid paperwork is a joke, you listen to all the jokes about lawyers - all i ever wanted to do was help people and help them get out of a bad situation.

In return i get to deal with women who have dealt with years of abuse, men who dont think they have a problem, ive been counsellor to many, Ive had to sit and listen to parents telling me that there kids arent affected by divorce, arguments or years of violence, ive helped kids that have been treated appallingly. Ive been threatened by charming men at Court when Ive taken injunctions out against them - i had one guy tell me and his ex he was coming to Court with a gun (we both believed him) the police told me to ring them if he turned up!

So although you may have tough days just remember law isnt always the cushy number people think it is.

You are doing a great job as a midwife and i certainly couldnt do it. But despite all of the above - i loved my job - i loved that i could help one person escape a bad home life, i could help children get a fresh start and i miss my job a lot. So the next time you slag of lawyers please remember we are not all money grabbing swines!

wow, yes - £14.50/hr, that's GOOD in comparison with what us poor med lab scientists got - I was earning less than that as a locum!
(mind you it was a few years ago now so they probably have parity by now).
And I know what you mean about the lack of status - it was very demeaning to be referred to as "just a lab tech" as though all we did was push buttons - it is a degree-only entry profession now and a very poorly-paid one at that - and most doctors would not be able to function without the lab services these days.

Ok, off soapbox now, just wanted to point out that I think most of the ground-level workers in the NHS are undervalued, sometimes in different ways though.

I agree thumbwitch, totally.

I know my pay is OK, although I have been at it 10 years so it's taken alot of crawling up the scales. I'm just fuddled as to how it's going to cover unemployment and maternity leave, which starts in a month when I'm 37 weeks. The money will really run out end of Feb I think.

I know that had I done law my hourly rate would be more than £14.50, although I also know that the job would still be hard.

Must no panic must not panic must not panic.

Being a lawyer isnt the high earning profession its assumed to be.

Most of my colleagues who all have law degrees & £1000s of student loans to pay back, earn less than £15k a year.

We also get spoken to like shit on a daily basis. My clients complain if I'm on another call when they rings, object theres no-one in the office when they call on Saturdays, and regularly tell me i dont know what i'm talking about & dont know how to do my job. my junior colleagues get a lot worse than that. all this by people who have paid the £10-15 a year add on to their insurance which pays for our services.

I am very good at my job. (and also extremely modest! ). My clients generally get £1000s more compensation than they would with any other firm. so far this year i have been thanked....once. yesterday in one day i had at least 5 clients complaining about one thing or other (none justified or reasonable).

notwithstanding the above i still love my job. but its not a career i would ever recommend or advise to anyone. in fact if either of my ds's show any interest in being lawyers, i will actively dissuade them.

I agree - the earnings may be there for the big city lawyers but as a high street legal aid lawyer my earnings were in the mid £20's.

racmac - I have utter respect for your branch of the law, have had many experiences of night time court hearings for at risk babies and all the rest of it. I have no idea how you could do it and would never ever imagine that side of the job to be anything than 100% heroics. If only for facing the paperwork alone!!!

Lots of the population will never have imagined the stories you and I and 'people who work with people' have heard. I've knowingly seen women accessing the maternity services because of/whilst in the midst of incest, rape, attempted murder, sex with a minor, suffered the crime of sex with a vulnerable adult, sex with a vulnerable child, known transmition of disease through intercourse, domestic violence, domestic bullying, who have attempted suicide, have commited suicide, imprisonment of a woman by family/husband ,female genital mutilation, war crimes incl. gang rape resulting in unknown parentage - also resulting in incontinenece of urine and faeces, the list just goes on - and thats the obvious cases. I can hardly imagine myself the things I've seen but didn't know I was seeing.

And I am privilidged [sp?] to be able to try and help.

But at the moment, it just isn't going to pay our plumber! Let of bile yesterday, self pity and fuming rage at this world today. Wonder what tommorow will bring?????

Hey listen, if I'd gone into law I think I'd have chased the money. I realise it 'aint all LA LAW - God remember that!

I don't know if it would have made me happy - but the plumber might have been happier!!
HAven't even started on the student Loans - I did a 4 year degree at Newcastle. Back in the 90's. So old.

Sorry - didn't mean to patronise. Lots of people know all about how hard the world can be. It can feel a bit like they don't when they are complaining no one let them on the ward the SECOND time they rang the bell but I know that was patronising.

GOd in FIERCE mood today

totally agree with glitterball. Having been a lawyer for over 10 years I could probably count on one hand the number of times I've been thanked for doing a good job (like to think I always did a good job!) but most clients are quick enough to complain if you are on the phone/in a conference/at Court. A lot of them also seemed to think that I personally was paid the 150 ph that I charged. In my dreams! My DS aged 15 has decided he wants to become a lawyer and I'm trying hard to get him to give this serious consideration (particularly after watching barristers last night) I spoke last week to a colleague at my old firm and she said that she and 4 other lawyers have been cut down to 4 days a week and that is a lot of money to lose if you have a mortgage and other bills. I'm on a career break at the moment and am seriously thinking of retraining. The grass isn't always greener!
I think you do a fabulous and essential job (ok, I'm 7 months pregnant with DC4 so may be biased!) Don't be down, be proud.

Sucks, doesn't it? Sometimes there's nothing else to say but 'Bollocks to it all'... I've got no advice - just that you're not alone. And it won't be like this forever - trite but true.

Thanks mumoverseas - good luck with bubs. We must be about the same - I'm 33 weeks Monday.

Wish were 23 I'd have loads more wages to come! Arghhhhhhh!!!