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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want an August baby?

360 replies

DodgyApostrophe · 19/11/2008 20:49

I'm not ttc this month.

I don't want a baby in August as I feel they are definitely at a disadvantage throughout school.

I do want a baby, desperately. Have been ttc for 2 years and have had 2 mc since ds1.

Is it really that bad to be born in August?

OP posts:
pumpkinsoup · 21/11/2008 10:02

a close friend, born 31st of august, and always the youngest in his year, acheived 12 grade A (mostly A*) GCSEs, and was significantly more 'emotionally mature' than his peers. taking his A-levels now. So it can be Ok.

But I worry about my late july daughter, she is bright enough, but I think is struggling socially.

if there is a next time, I would also avoid july, august and december. would love september, march and april.

I don't think thats crazy. I also think its sometimes good to have a rest from ttc.

stickybeaker · 21/11/2008 10:19

I was born in August, and so was my brother. We were both fine in school - not at a disadvantage at all. It would never occur to me that I could have been behind academically. I have 9 good GCSEs, 3 A levels, a degree and was no way disadvantaged socially.

ssouthall · 21/11/2008 11:19

I can do two angles on this...

Firstly, I am a July birthday. I love having pressies twice a year and a summer birthday. It hasn't held me back, I am a teacher and am doing very well for myself thank you very much!

Secondly, I have just had my first son a fortnight ago and I am more than happy that he is an Autumn birthday. Having a summer birthday does make a difference at school. I taught a Yr 2 top set maths group and 99% of the children were Autumn birthdays. I am sure they catch up eventually but in my experience it doesn't happen until they are at least at junior school. Obviously there are exceptions to every rule. I know some very intelligent summer children! Likewise when starting school the expectation of autumn born children is far higher and they are at home for the year longer.

Pros and cons I think...

FantasticMissFox · 21/11/2008 11:23

Dodgy, you say you are desperate for a baby but you don't want one in August?

I am an August baby and love it. I wasn't disadvantaged at school and always had sunny birthdays!

thefortbuilder · 21/11/2008 12:09

DH is a december baby and in NZ the year runs jan - dec. He was one of the youngest and has 2 degrees, and is a law partner.

doesn't seem to have disadvantaged him at all.

If you are as desperate as you say you are I rally don't think the month of august should be a factor.

And besides, ds1 was due on 5th september, 8 weeks early out he came on 14 july, so now one of the youngest. so it might not go to plan anyway

good luck with ttc

jazzandh · 21/11/2008 12:29

Actually I am in a similar situation to OP. I too am not going to actively ttc this month. The August birthday does concern me although I am aware that DC generally do catch up.

I actually think the physical side is much harder - boys that are nearly a year younger than some of their peers can be smaller and struggle to compete in sports activities etc. Probably less of an issue with girls!

At least I can enjoy any pre-christmas festivities without any guilt!

...who knows it may do the trick anyway - did for us last time

blithedance · 21/11/2008 12:43

I failed to conceive for years, I would have been happy to have a baby born on any day of the year, Christmas, Halloween...31st August, 1st September. If I was the OP I'd keep trying. BUT there are times when a month off TTC is a bit of a rest from the stress of it all, so if that's your reason, fine.

My younger son is a late August birthday, he's 3 now and already can read, count and I can see he will breeze school when the time comes. I'm sure that any differences due to birthdate will even out and be outweighed by personality/environment/ability very soon.

I have to confess to a bit of a relief that I will be able to hand him on to the 5-days-a-week free childcare of school a whole year sooner too than i might have.

stuffitllama · 21/11/2008 12:45

I think there is definitely potential for an August born boy in particular to be at a "disadvantage" shall I put like that? compared to a September born girl in the same class. And they will be compared.

DaisySparkle · 21/11/2008 12:49

I was born in August and did not find it an educational disadvantage as my mum made sure she heped with things like holding a pencil (fine motor control skills were a little behind others!). She did say that as time went on she started to treat me as my 'school year' not my age as my friends could do things when they were 7 that otherwise I would have missed out on.
My DD1 was born 31st August and is definitely the youngest in her class! She is a fabulous reader, keeps up well in class and I can't say I really notice the difference apart from:
1)she is a head smaller than most of the others!
2)she was tearful at the start because she was very tired (but aren't they all!!)

As a teacher, I can say that the support given to the child at home is much more important than what month they are born in.

gabygirl · 21/11/2008 12:55

YANBU There's good evidence that August born children AS A GROUP do less well than autumn born children.

Obviously there are lots of things you can do that can make a difference to their achievement, but they'll always be disadvantaged to a certain extent by being much younger than the other children in their class. Doesn't mean they won't achieve, but they won't achieve as much as they could have done had they been older. My dd is August born. She's in the top set at school, but I reckon she'd be TOP of the top set if she was September born! My middle one is September birthday. He's the oldest in his class. When I think of where he was emotionally and developmentally last year compared to now - well, I'm glad he's started school at 5 rather than 4. My youngest is July birthday and I'm dreading him starting school. He's bright but very hyper - he'll really struggle to control his behaviour.

stuffitllama · 21/11/2008 13:12

My August born was one of the best readers in his class etc etc. Lots of support at home yes yes yes.

But let's face it -they are three, then within a month they start full-time school. Lucky for those who don't find it hard. It's complacent to think it's going to be just as easy as for those who are just about five years old. ON AVERAGE that is -- there are always exceptions.

My son's teachers knew this, they didn't pretend any different to me. They tried to help all the summer kids to adjust as successfully as the older ones. Why would they pretend they didn't have to?

disneystar · 21/11/2008 13:26

i had an august baby he wasnt ready for school so i kept him home another year it was great for us both
cant see a problem myself to be born in august
another son of mine was due late august and arrived early july

earlyriser · 21/11/2008 13:58

not read the whole thread so apologies if i'm repeating, but you could always move to scotland! Cut off is somewhere in feb so aug babies are right in the middle of their year group age wise.

TooMuchMakkaPakka · 21/11/2008 14:00

Sorry to disagree with everyone, but I am with the ops orignal post on this. This time last year, we stopped TTC for a month, although i was desperate for a baby. Research has shown that children born in the last two months of the academic year are more likely to be referred to specialist learning support services, more likely to go to special school and less likely to do as well in their academic exams than their counterparts born earlier in the school year. Teachers do compare them with the 'average' child in their year who is nearly six months older.
Of course, as so many people have pointed out, you can be born in the summer and do just fine, or even very well, the research is just about averages. Gender also plays a role, with boys born at the end of the school year tending in general to find things more difficult than girls who are young for year group (of course, again, this is by no means also true).
It is becoming difficult in many local authorities now to be kept down a year because this means that the child can leave school before completeting GCSEs which LAs are not keen on. This varies from place to place.
But, you can't always plan things that closely. Many people would be happy for a baby on any day of the year!
If you have a due date of sept or oct, but then find you are carrying twins you may then give birht in august prematurely (quite likely) and you children will still face the disadvantage. And there are many other reasons why children do poorly in school which you cannot control.
sometimes girls or boys, particularly girls, born in september can get frustrated in school with being the oldest and starting later on.
Having said this, I had a baby girl due in october who was born in september and a baby boy born in june, which proves you can't really plan things that much and should be grateful for the child you get, if you are blessed enough to get one.

hattyyellow · 21/11/2008 15:30

My twins were born in early August 05 and start school next year. They will be by far the youngest in their year at the village school and although they are bright little girls, I can see huge differences in their stages of development/speech/confidence compared to others in their year.

I really do wish they had been born a few weeks later and had got into September and thus the year below, as they struggle at pre-school compared with the other kids and are very much dominated by them.

The year below them at pre-school has a number of children only a month or so younger than them who are so much more similar to them in terms of development/skills/confidence.

We are battling the school to allow them to do mornings only for the first term next year. Schools can be very inflexible when it comes to intake/staggered starts throughout the year and ours certainly is.

xmasfairy · 21/11/2008 15:30

I was born end July, DH end August and DS mid Aug.
Me and DH did great at school and uni and DS doesn't appear to be disadvantaged in any way.

Doobydoo · 21/11/2008 16:03

My ds1 is an August baby.He is now 9.When he has been at school[and was youngest in class] and had assessments etc he had a reading age of 14 when he was 7 and about the same for maths and spellings.I had no idea that this month was supposed to be difficult for children tbh.Like others have said you can always keep them back a year.

stuffitllama · 21/11/2008 16:13

actually you can't always Dooby Doo
academic achievement isn't the whole story either

more · 21/11/2008 16:25

Think about it this way, are you really going to love him/her any less or more depending on what month you give birth though?

lingle · 21/11/2008 17:15

YANBU.

My 21st August boy (3.2) has just been assessed very negatively by a speech therapist against his "peers". By "peers" she meant 26 children who are up to a year older than him. He is like a different species to the October born girls.

BUT I live in Bradford LEA and can defer and put him in school at 5. YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!

actually, I think that by the time any August born child born in 2009 is at school then England's school starting age will be recognised as the scandal that it is, and we will have Scottish style flexibility. Or at least we will if I carry on being determined to campaign on the issue...

jennymac · 21/11/2008 17:16

My dd was born on 31 August (she is two now) but I think it is different in N Ireland as 30 June is the cut off date for school so she will probably be one of the eldest in her class as opposed to one of the youngest - means an extra year childcare but there you go!!

LouiseAnn · 21/11/2008 17:29

YANBU
I have an August birthday and did well at school, but I was a girl, was bright and did not have to fit in with the national curriculum.

My youngest son was born on 1st September this year and this was no accident. I had very high blood pressure and they wanted to induce me at 36 weeks. I asked if they could leave it until nearly 37 weeks and they agreed it would be safe. Four year old boys often do not have the social skills to settle in and learn in reception class. If my son gets bored before he goes to school I will get him in a nursery.

Original poster
DodgyApostrophe · 21/11/2008 18:24

Another thought... the schools in my area do a staggered intake, so an August-born child would only have a term in reception before being launched into Year One. A child I childmind has done just that and her mum feels like she is struggling, despite being very bright.

OP posts:
Doobydoo · 21/11/2008 18:49

I do realise academic achievement isn't the whole story...just thought I would mention that.

chequersandchess · 21/11/2008 19:25

August born myself
August born DD