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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want an August baby?

360 replies

DodgyApostrophe · 19/11/2008 20:49

I'm not ttc this month.

I don't want a baby in August as I feel they are definitely at a disadvantage throughout school.

I do want a baby, desperately. Have been ttc for 2 years and have had 2 mc since ds1.

Is it really that bad to be born in August?

OP posts:
OldLadyKnowsNothing · 21/11/2008 19:51

MY DS2 is August-born, but as we live in Scotland the school-year thing was never a worry. DS1, however, is a January baby. He went to nursery at 3.7 (in August, the start of our school year) and started school at 4.7. I had the option to keep him in nursery for another year - this was extended to children born in December, January and February. I decided to send him at 4.7 because he was bright, chatty, used to being around other children etc and I felt he could cope. The nursery presented me with a "discussion document" with a contribution each from a parent, a nursery teacher, a primary teacher and a secondary teacher, every single one negative. (I recall particularly the secondary teacher's comments about discipline problems with 15 year-olds waiting to leave at Christmas - I was affronted by the very notion of my child leaving school before Highers!)I asked them for the other half of the document - there wasn't one, so there's absolutely nothing positive about sending your child to school at four.

Or at any rate, there wasn't 18 years ago. A decade later, funding for schools changed so that there was more money for under-5's. My sister had a child of four, a December baby. He was clingy, had never really settled at nursery, and was young for his age, so she decided not to send him to school at four. Well, the school sent round a "discussion document" - I think it must have been the other half of the one I'd been given, because in this one, starting at four was all good! Oh, how we laughed. And my nephew stayed home.

Btw, my DS is currently in third year at Uni, and has no criminal record, so he hasn't been disadvantaged so far.

S'all bollox, innit.

kookykid · 21/11/2008 20:12

This thread caught my attention...

Just got my BFP today so baby due end July/early Aug. I have been ttc for nearly a year and for a few very short seconds thought about holding off this month as I'm a teacher and know that occasionally there is some truth in the summer-born children thing. BUT thank god I didn't or else I wouldn't have my BFP right now!!!

TBH if a child has supportive parents and all the right things going on at home being summer born won't make a big difference. For God's sake woman, if you want a baby you want a baby no matter what month it's born in.

brimfull · 21/11/2008 20:16

ds was due near the end of august..I didn't even click about the school thing as had been waiting 10 yrs to get pregnant.
I was quite shocked when someone said ..well keep you legs crossed until september when I told them the due date.
In the end he was born sept 11th so I am quite relieved tbh.

nooka · 21/11/2008 20:31

Statistically there are disadvantages to being born in August. There have been studies liking summer babies to later depression, and certainly there are advantages in being older when starting school. However whether an individual child will thrive or struggle is of course much more complicated. I would suspect it is more of an issue for boys than girls in the early years. Personally one of the first things I did on discovering I was unexpectedly pregnant with dd was to count the months. She was conceived on Christmas Day and born on Sept 7th. I was pleased that she would be two school years from ds, and not in the same year as her cousin (competition concerns). However now we have moved to North America she's been bumped up a year as they use the calender year instead. This means school is easier for ds (May baby) and harder for dd, and they narrowly escaped being in the same class but they both seem to be doing just fine.

I don't think it is a reason to stop TTC, but you may find having a month off refreshing, and that could be a very good thing.

blackrock · 21/11/2008 20:32

Isn't it sad that our education systems cut off date has such a dramatic effect on TTC. I can understand why it may be considered a disadvantage, but really think it is very child dependent.

You get mature and immature children in every month of the year...if a child is less mature and summer born I guess that could be disadvantageous...

Please can someone direct this thread to a link where date of brith is correlated against future adulthood success. Is there a real correlation??

kiltycoldbum · 21/11/2008 20:40

Well i was born on the last day of August so talk about late! I also have every single school report i have ever had from the age of 4.
Without wanting to sound like a cheeky smarty pants allow me to blow my own trumpet as well i never get to in RL!

When i started school i could already read and write and do some maths. I was always near or at the top of my class in school, i never ever felt at a disadvantage, i loved the challenge. I did well in my gcse's, alevels and have a degree from oxford.

Now, i may have spent the last god knows how many years of my life being vomited down, pooed on and talking incoherently while putting butter in the sink, pans in the fridge and my keys in the oven but i suspect this has less to do with my time of birth and more to do with allowing my mind to fester.

Disadvantaged by being born in August? Er thats a big fat NOPE.

silver28 · 21/11/2008 20:42

Congratulations Kookykid!!

btw i was born in july and never had any problems. even got a degree in economics from Oxford (though ten years on i can't remember a thing of what i studied - don't think i can blame my birthday though!)

silver28 · 21/11/2008 20:45

Reading Kitty's post reminded me - i could also read, write etc pretty well before i started school, all thanks to my mum's dedication to making sure i wasn't disadvantaged i guess.

BarcodeZebra · 21/11/2008 20:47

Move to Scotland. Cut off is end of Feb. You can defer a year if your kid is born Sept to Feb depending on whether you think they are ready for School yet.

Much better system.

Of course DD1 was born 1st March....

olivo · 22/11/2008 12:52

I'm intrigued by this. i have a late august dd myself and am not concerned about how she will fare academically because of her age. i too endured the 'oh dears' when we gave my edd. As a teacher, I can honestly say that I have never noticed that summer babies do less well .
and I agree that you cant plan it - an acquaitnace of mine was so pleased that she was having a sept baby becasue of the old in year thing, but now she is just delighted that her 3 months early baby is healthy and well.
good luck to you though dodgy.

SomeKindofWonderful · 22/11/2008 12:54

But what if this was the month that you would concieve?

kyrasmummy · 22/11/2008 13:43

I was born in August and so were my 2 Sisters and Brother, we all did fine and school, my DD is a 28th July baby and is also doing very well at school, so if i were you i would just carry on ttc though having said that my DS is a november baby and i am glad he will be starting school at 4.10 instead of 4.1.

edam · 22/11/2008 13:55

If I was ttc, I wouldn't let what could well be groundless fears about school stop me. Yes, statistically August-born children are disadvantaged, but that's not necessarily the case for your own child - it's the difference between looking at a population and an individual.

FWIW ds's birthday is late July and he's doing really well at school, with a January start for both nursery and reception.

disneystar · 22/11/2008 15:52

i had a thought on this they say a woman is fertile only at certain times well it was true for me as i had 3 of my dc due in august and the others were due in march i have never concieved any other time

WifeandMotherof4 · 22/11/2008 16:05

My dd is September 6th and is already very advanced (just 2) and so I know I will wish that she was an August baby by the time preschool arrives, a year late!!
I was a late June baby and did very well at school, it completely depends on the child.

DodgyApostrophe · 22/11/2008 16:10

Well... er... following some hormonal urges at 6am it may not be in my hands anymore.

Will keep you posted.

OP posts:
TheButterflyEffect · 22/11/2008 21:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TopBitch · 23/11/2008 08:39

My dd (sn) is mid august. She was held back a year. She just wasn't ready for school.

SuperSillyus · 23/11/2008 08:45

My eldest is an August boy. Here in NI it wasn't an issue- he started school when he was 5 and he definately benefitted from that.

lumpsdumps · 23/11/2008 13:18

My eldest boy is a late August born and he was held back a term due to speech problems and dyspraxia, but his brother who was born the day after him and was born on the last day of August and so is the youngest in his year, has done fantastic in full time school. He started 4 days after his 4th birthday and to be honest I was really worried about how he would cope. He is now YR 3 and is top in every subject. Being August born hasn't held back any of them, my eldest is doing really well and is in YR 9, he's on target for getting his grades and we have seen a massive improvement in his work in the last 3 months! I am so proud of my boys, the only problem they see with being August born is that they have to wait so long for their birthdays!

MadMarg · 23/11/2008 13:41

I hadn't even given any consideration to this issue, and have just got my BFP result, so believe I am due 2 August next year. Hmm, something to think about.

My DS1 is quite large for his size, so hopefully 2nd child will also be so size probably not so much of an issue. I guess I will have to just make sure I continue to do all the extra activities with No 2 like reading, to make sure there's no problem!

kkey21 · 23/11/2008 18:50

My ds1 aged 3 is very bright-he was born august 16th but is ahead than some of his friends in same class who are already 4.

My ds2 was also an august baby as we decided to aim for two of the youngest.....he decided to arrive 7 hours late to join September! So we have an oldest in the class (well will do he is only 12wks old now!) and a youngest but honestly its all about the child not the date of birth!

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 25/11/2008 18:02

Sorry, I've been away for a few days, but pmsl at:

"By DodgyApostrophe on Sat 22-Nov-08 16:10:58
Well... er... following some hormonal urges at 6am it may not be in my hands anymore.

Will keep you posted."

duckyfuzz · 25/11/2008 18:04

I'm an august baby and was top of the class for most subjects throughout school, never saw it as a problem really - if you want a baby that badly surely that is the important thing?

Jenbot · 25/11/2008 18:08

My baby was due at the end of September and came at the end of July, you can't plan everything in life, especially when kids are involved, I reckon!

She might be a bit behind now as she'll be really teeny and in the year before she should have been, but heck, I'll read to her and play with her, and I'm not bothered what grades she gets as long as she's happy and healthy.

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