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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want an August baby?

360 replies

DodgyApostrophe · 19/11/2008 20:49

I'm not ttc this month.

I don't want a baby in August as I feel they are definitely at a disadvantage throughout school.

I do want a baby, desperately. Have been ttc for 2 years and have had 2 mc since ds1.

Is it really that bad to be born in August?

OP posts:
piscesmoon · 22/01/2009 19:11

It can be an advantage if your DC is bright and picks things up quickly. My DH is born right near the end of August and got a scholarship to a private school at 11, without being tutored or doing practise papers. My DS with an August birthday could have done with being a year behind. It all depends on the DC.

PerfectEm · 22/01/2009 19:28

I just want to be a great mum to a baby, I don't mind what month their born in.
TTC is hard enough without worrying about that! Some of smartest people I know were born in August.

MrsMagooo · 22/01/2009 19:58

When I was TTC my DC I didn't give a fig what month they were born in as long as they were happy & healthy

DS was very nearly a June baby but with (huge massive) thanks to the latest modern medicine & wonderful staff DS is an August baby (as he should have been) & I'm just thankful he is here safe & well!

Having a birthday in the summer is fab (DD is end of June & I'm beginning of July) as lots of fun parties out in the sunshine

I was always one of the youngest in my year at school but it never bothered me & I went on to do A levels & get a place at Uni

clam · 22/01/2009 20:09

lingle, that's an entirely different issue. In any class, there will be children who are not ready for school, but it's not necessarily the summer-borns. Of course, many believe that we start them all too young in this country. And for the record, it's all the "my child might be behind at school so I'd better avoid getting pregnant" stuff that I was thinking is nonsense.
Anyway, the OP is now pregnant, so it's a moot point. Congratulations, and here's to years of summer parties in the garden!

MrsMagooo · 22/01/2009 20:15

DodgyApostrophe many congratulations on your BFP - welcome to the lovely world of summer babies & birthday parties in the sunny garden

meandjoe · 22/01/2009 20:58

my dh was born august 30th so always youngest in the school year yet he was never behind and has acheived loads both academically and in employment. if you think about it, there is only 2 months between being born in august and bein born in june, yet no one worries that june babies will be behind children born in february or whenever.

it all depends on personality of child not the month they were born. my ds is an august baby and i'm so glad that he won't be at school ever on his birthday and that it'll be summer. if he's thick, it's cos he's thick, not cos he's born in august!

tryingtobemarypoppins · 22/01/2009 21:17

As a primary teacher I do believe there is a clear gap between the summer and winter born children. This is more marked in boys. The gap becomes smaller by Year 3 and seems to have levelled out by year 4.

Having said this every child is different. I think the type of nursery prior to school also has an effect and where the child is within the family.

Darkmere · 22/01/2009 21:28

My brother is an August babe and did have a few issues very early on and had to get help with his reading and writing. However by the time he was in juniors he had caught up and went on to do very well at A-Level and got a first at uni. Agree with previous posters the most important factor in how well your child does academically is the attitude to learning that is fostered at home.

SlartyBartFast · 22/01/2009 21:33

i am the same, purposefully didnt have an august baby,
or september, cos they would the oldest!

notsoteenagemum · 22/01/2009 21:36

Ds was born 30th of August and started reception last sept, I was so worried especially as he's the youngest but also the tallest!
Although he does get tired and we had to cancel pretty much all after school activity because of this, he's settled in really well and actually came in the top 5 in the baseline assessments. Considering he never even picked up a pencil (despite my best efforts) before he started he can write well has learned to read all the high frequency words. I know this sounds a bit braggy but I'm honestly amazed and feel a bit guilty for under-estimating him.

SlartyBartFast · 22/01/2009 21:36

barack obama's birthday is august 4th.

SlartyBartFast · 22/01/2009 21:42

congrats to the op btw
how funny.

ja9 · 22/01/2009 21:46

Haven't read whole thread but find it amusing that ds as an aug birthday is bang in the middle (age wise) in scotland, whereas dd was born on cut off date for a school yr(end feb).

if i still lived in NI, we would have the same issues but the other way round iyswim (ds would be youngest and dd bang in middle).

blether blether!

snorkle · 22/01/2009 23:54

I think given that we take folic acid in pregancy to reduce the (already very small) risk of neural tube defects, then it's not really an unreasonable thing to try to protect against the (small, but not as small as NTD) risk of educational disadvantage in being summer born. But I don't think I'd do it if I was struggling to conceive - you do have to remember that there are many other far bigger things that affect educational outcomes too.

Somehow though, timing pregnancy does seem a bit premeditated & to smack a little of social engineering, but I don't really see why not.

VinegarTits · 23/01/2009 00:08

Ds1 was born in August, He was always the youngest at school, but always the brightest (gets that from me )

Such an odd thing to worry about imo

clam · 23/01/2009 09:30

Also speaking as a primary school teacher, I would agree that there are differences in development between children, as you would expect when some are almost a year apart in age in the early stages of KS1. But, they are developmental and the foundation curriculum is aimed at teaching them all the social, physical etc.. skills they will need by the time they start the more formal stuff. Some will pick these things up quicker than others, regardless of when their birthday is. And anyway, the teachers are very aware of these things and try not to compare in a negative way. By end of KS1 and into early KS2, the differences are ability-based, not age-related.
Would anyone consider not TTC in a given month because it might mean that the baby learnt to walk later than a child nearly a year older? No, you'd just put it down to the other child being older. Surely the same applies in a reception class. The younger one is not "behind" or disadvantaged. They all learn to do it eventually.

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 23/01/2009 09:49

I'm an Augus baby.

Only child in my year at my school to pass 11+.

Was in top sets at Grammer school.
Got 10 GCSEs.

Have 2 degrees and will be starting Masters soon.

I don't think I was disadvantaged by my age.

lingle · 23/01/2009 10:32

"Such an odd thing to worry about imo"

Yes, many people do find it odd when they either don't understand principles of statistics or are unaware of the detailed statistical studies carried out in relation to this issue. Presumably those on this thread are all in the second category as you are all quick to point out your intelligence and that of your children.

Your posts show what a long way there is to go before we can achieve change. Please read a report called "When you are Born Matters". It is published by the IFS.

expatinscotland · 23/01/2009 10:34

'Please read a report called "When you are Born Matters". It is published by the IFS. '

I'm glad te IFS never had to deal with infertility or miscarriage and so is priviledged enough to actually worry over something so trivial as being born in August.

Some of us are just grateful to have a healthy baby born at all.

lingle · 23/01/2009 11:27

What's it got to do with miscarriage? Oh I see, the OP was considering not TTC for fear of the August birth. OK I get you now.

Yep - two issues - one is whether you'd stop TTC - and to you the August birth thing seems very trivial in comparison - ok I can respect your feelings on that.

The other issue though is the August birth penalty itself. That's not life or death but it's very upsetting to me that people think it is trivial. It's not trivial in terms of the education system in England - it's a problem that lies right at the heart of it. Is it trivial compared with what's been happening in Gaza? Sure. Doesn't stop it beign important though.

snorkle · 23/01/2009 11:57

I agree with lingle here. Presumably those of you think it doesn't matter because you or your dc were August born & did very well educationally, don't bother with folic acid either because your mother didn't & you don't have neural tube defects? Or perhaps you don't feel the need to wear a seatbelt because you've never had a car accident? We live in a society where increasingly we take preventative measures to protect ourselves and our children from small risks (small individually, but not small when looking at a population) and season of birth is just another of these.

clam · 23/01/2009 12:08

Risk?! Are you serious? We're talking about an arbitrary grouping of children at school. Your child is not "disadvantaged" because they are younger than the other kids in the class. Most of the tasks they do will be differentiated according to their developmental stage, anyway. It's the parents who have the problem if they're fearing some sort of stigma due to their child, shock horror, being in a 'lower' group than they'd like - to the extent that they'd actively stop TTC, even following fertility problems.

frankie3 · 23/01/2009 12:14

It still seems trivial to me. My Feb born DS is struggling at school whereas my June born DS is very bright. I have no idea what careers they will have, my brighter son may well get better grades in his exams which will give him more choice of careers, but this is not something to be worrying about at the moment. I guess I fell lucky enough to be having these type of issues when a lot of people around me have much bigger worries in their life and would love to have such problems! There is more to life than academic qualifications, and maybe the younger children in each class benefit socially from mixing with older children their whole school life, whereas the oldest in each class spend all of their time with younger less mature children.

lingle · 23/01/2009 12:14

There are so many emotions connected with TTC that it's a bit hard to talk about the August birth penalty without the two getting muddled up.

I'm sure you're right Clam. I'm sure many parents want their kids born in Sept. so they will be "ahead". But it's absolute readiness rather than relative academic placing that concerns me. Please read the report.

duchesse · 23/01/2009 12:16

Having had two summer babies (one early July, one late July) and seen them struggle immensely in their first three years of school (vs my spring born child), I can anecdotally confirm that at least in my family, summer birthdays are a bad idea. (Incidentally, both are fine now, at 15 and 11, but there were a few difficult years...)

I have struggled to get pregnant again for over five years, and am finally up the duff again. This one is due in....August and will certainly not be looking it in the mouth for having the wrong birth month! I am immensely grateful to be pregnant at all, and will I will just have to deal with whatever problems it may or may not have at school. At least I know how now.

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