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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want an August baby?

360 replies

DodgyApostrophe · 19/11/2008 20:49

I'm not ttc this month.

I don't want a baby in August as I feel they are definitely at a disadvantage throughout school.

I do want a baby, desperately. Have been ttc for 2 years and have had 2 mc since ds1.

Is it really that bad to be born in August?

OP posts:
Rindercella · 23/01/2009 23:42

tsk, trouble is we won't be moving to Scotland anytime soon

FairLadyRantALot · 24/01/2009 00:07

Rindercella....a friend has a dd that was born first september, and she than was 5...but she was so ready to go to school at 4...
It is, simply, stupid to have birthdates decide this....it should be childs developement and readyness etc....sigh....maybe there should be a top age range...but otherwise it should be individually assessed to some extent.
And, any child being started late should still be allowed to go to reception if that would be more appropriate then year one....

mumof2monsters · 24/01/2009 02:13

My due date for my ds was 29th August and i remember the Doc saying "oh dear youngest in the class"
My ds came on his due date and started school one week after his fourth birthday.
He is now 7 and as bright as a button.
His teacher (he is in year 3) spoke to my husband yesterday and said he had written a story in class and the language and dialogue was amazing for someone of his age.
She was staggered when I told her he is the youngest in his year. She said intellecutally he is right on the mark.
The only thing I would say is that initially he struggled physically with tiredness and PE as he is quite short and obviously was only just 4 when starting school.
I would say to you that having an August baby is not really an issue. My advice is that if you have been trying for a long time go with the flow and be happy that you fall pregnant and stop worrying about which month it will be born. Good luck

JodieO · 24/01/2009 02:26

I've had 5 mc's and 3 dc's and I wouldn't mind when they were born as long as they were healthy; dd was born prem and spent time in scbu. I certainly wouldn't stop ttc just for some reason like school years.

Rindercella · 24/01/2009 12:39

Absolutely agree with you FairLady. A child really should be assessed as an individual - so on physical, intellectual and emotional readiness, rather than purely on birth date.

MargeSimpsonMyAlterEgo · 24/01/2009 13:00

I've enjoyed reading this thread but sure would make more sense if I knew what TTC is. Anyone enlighten me? Thanks!!

Picante · 24/01/2009 13:24

Trying To Conceive

Cake · 24/01/2009 13:30

I can understand your concerns, OP. But to put it blunty, I think it comes down to what do you want more -

A child
OR
Your child not being born in August.

If you've been TTC to conceive for 2 years - sorry to hear that - then then you need all the chances you can get.

Not a contest, surely?

kettlechip · 24/01/2009 18:58

I have two August born ds', the elder is 3.5 and has a language delay of approximately 10 months. I would give anything to delay his start into primary school by a year, his language issues mean he is way behind his peers socially. If you compare him with a September born girl in his year, for example, the difference is staggering.

There should be flexibility within the system to allow for children like my ds, who simply won't be ready to enter reception at 4.0. Unfortunately the area in which I live is non negotiable on starting age, and I'm forced to go with the flow and see how he copes.

It is an important issue to those of us who have dc's who may struggle as a result of the combination of individual difficulties plus being the youngest in their year. I never anticipated having a dc with SN (who does?!) and when I got pregnant I naively figured that as both DH and I were academically able, our dc's would probably be too and would be fine being young in the year. With the benefit of hindight I would never make such an arrogant assumption again.

Tbh I wouldn't blame anyone who, if they are able to, chose to plan an autumn or winter baby under the current school entry system. The system needs to change and I will be supporting any initiative which makes that happen.

anatomyofasmile · 22/08/2011 20:43

I was overjoyed to be told I was expecting dd on my birthday - 7 Aug - as I'd been waiting for ages and was only bothered about summer baby thing when other people started mentioning it. The only thing I remember being a real problem was being the smallest in my year, but I was always fairly bolshie so I wasn't going to get left behind and my teacher parents made sure I could read before I started school at 5 - which I believe helped enormously, however...

...my EDD changed to 22 Aug (today!) so I'm faced with the possibility that I could give birth in Sep and get her into the new school year - so I really sympathise with this dilemma right now, particularly as I reckon she's not keen on arriving just yet. So I plan to resist any induction efforts until I'm safely in Sep... so I guess my answer is YANBU, but, at the end of the day, a person's natural ability does even things out no matter when in the school year they are born.

Pamplemoussse · 22/08/2011 20:51

ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT

EuphemiaMcGonagall · 22/08/2011 20:52

Where on the name of fuck did this thread get dug up from?

AgentZigzag · 23/08/2011 01:23

I wonder how she got on, the baby will be 2 YO now.

Bet the OP will be right chuffed to see her thread resurrected if she's still about...or possibly not Grin

AgentZigzag · 23/08/2011 01:24

Love the Grin

TillyIpswitch · 23/08/2011 01:30

I read the OP thing, 'cor, you plan to be pregnant for a year??' Confused

anatomy - you're a great person to have around 2-3 years after a situation presents itself. Grin

AgentZigzag · 23/08/2011 01:32

''cor, you plan to be pregnant for a year??''

I was wondering why she wasn't being given a rundown of basic pregnancy facts as well Grin

Whatmeworry · 23/08/2011 08:06

It's definitely harder in the 1st few years of school academically so I think its something to consider for 11+ but not an issue by GCSE.

Makes a bigger difference for boys in sport especially around adolescence, where team selection is often done deal in effect as older kids picked at 12/13 into higher teams get better training for next few years. Not sure it impacts girls as much.

Engelsmeisje · 23/08/2011 08:14

I think you're being ridiculous.

We were ttc for 18mo when I had a mc - our baby would have been born last week. I got pg only a few months later and am due in October, but would have been delighted to have had a baby in August.

My birthday's during the Christmas holiday so I was also never at school/work, everyone always forgot, everyone always too poor/hungover/overindulged from Christmas and New Year - but I survivied just fine! Is there ever an ideal time to have your birthday?!

Surely the only important thing is that you get pregnant and have a healthy baby?

Lunabelly · 23/08/2011 08:28

It's my birthday this week and I bloody love being an 'August baby'. Never had to go to school on my birthday, and quite liked the cachet of being in the youngest three of the school year. Is even better now I am ancient, as it means I am one of the last to hit certain milestones. My birthday being where it is also means it generally falls around the carnival and funfair and various fetes, so I really rather really love it :o

OnEdge · 23/08/2011 08:33

Mine was due in September but arrived 3 weeks early, HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHLOE ! I don't think you can plan it as accurately as you think.

Himalayanbalsam · 23/08/2011 08:34

old, old thread ladies Smile

joric · 23/08/2011 08:36

DD born right at the end of August and started school the day after she turned 4!! DH and I are also August born...DD doesn't struggle to keep up and neither did we.
Only disadvantage- b'day falls in summer when A lot of schoolfriends are away.

porcamiseria · 23/08/2011 08:36

hmm, I am august baby

I WAS always behind in things, the last to do everything. and I failed a year at Uni. So YANBU

SmethwickBelle · 23/08/2011 08:59

I have a summer baby and a winter baby and given a third (and no middle ground) I'd go for the summer baby.

If they're bright then being amongst older children will spur them on, if they're not so bright well, it will be not such a big deal as they're known to be younger.

My son is just four (July baby) and starts school in September and it is a wrench, I won't say it isn't, BUT I can not imagine him at home, getting underfoot and bored for a further year even with activities, preschool and groups etc... Maybe as he is fairly ahem, dynamic.

I was a winter baby and I can see in retrospect that being one of the oldest meant I was bored and understretched for a lot of my primary schooling.

The summer party thing is a benefit, as is spreading the pressies out, whereas my November baby has a glut of presents and then a month later has another.

MilaMae · 23/08/2011 09:24

There has been research that shows some children can be as old as 8 before they catch up. Summer born boys can often find school quite hard to begin with and also the switch to Year 1.You will obviously get some exceptions.I also think bright kids do well whatever their bday.

In our school the summer borns start in a different class and then the 2 are muddled up to ensure a fair distribution.As a teacher I always kept in mind that those born earlier had an advantage and some pupils often just needed a little more time to mature.

I was so concerned I delayed my frozen embryo transfer by a month and I'd been ttc for the best part of 7 years Grin.My consultant was the one who suggested it actually so clearly it's something many take into account.My twin boys were born after said FET in September as a result!!!!!!!Grin Grin

You get very few perks with IVF so I was quite glad to use the IVF rollercoaster to my dc's future advantage.

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