To put my 6 week old baby in to nursery for 1 half day a week so i can have a break?

[babylovesmilk]

I am pregnant with my 3rd child and am planning to put my new baby in nursery from 9 -1, 1 day a week. My other DC will be at school. I had PND with my last child, have no family nearby and think the break will be a life line. AIBU?

Another thought- have you looked at homestart? They're not everywhere and do have waiting lists but they might be able to send someone to help you (chatting, coffee whatever) for 4 hours a week? As a new mum with a history of PND you'd qqualify adn they really do make a big difference.

have a look on their website or ask your HV

Peachy is wonderful, did I mention that?

I honestly think you'd get better value for money (so to speak!) from a couple of child free hours every few days. Knowing that you'll always have (say) 10am - 12 to yourself each week day would be far more beneficial to your well-being than holding out for 4 hours once a week.

Agree with soupdragon. Also would worry about the looking-forward-to-4hours-peace, only for that to be scuppered by the baby being ill (which will happen a lot initially because of the viruses picked up at nursery). Feel that there would eb too much invested in that one chunk of time a week.

Sorry if this appears to be sitting on the fence but I think everyone's situation is different and you should do exactly what you feel is right for you.

I suffered with mild PND and found the early days a real struggle. Whether you get PND or not, any kind of break for a short time can only be good for you and the baby (and your other DCs). I got slated by so called friends when I sent DS as an 8 week old to a CM for 2 hours twice a week so I could pick DD up from school and spend some time with her.

ATEOTD some people don't agree with nursery, some people don;t agree with CMs, some people don't agree with spending every moment with your baby.

Nobody is wrong, if that's what suits them. Having said that. I don't disagree with people giving their opinions, of course that is the whole point of posting in the first place.

(Slinks off back to camp neutral)

I think it's very different putting a small baby in a nursery if you already know the nursery well. My dd3 went to nursery 3 days a week from 3 months, we already knew and loved the nursery, it was a fantastic place. I've used childminders as well but this particular nursery was the best childcare we ever found.

It was a very different experience from trying to find childcare for my first child when we hadn't got a clue.

Hi ya. Sorry I haven't read all the replies but thought I would add my opinion.

I was thinking that maybe a mothers help would be better? They come to you, much cheaper than a Nanny, they can help with the kids, and do little things like light housework (probably more cleaning up after the kids rather than cleaning the bathroom, but still less for you to do). It would probably work out a bit more expensive than the nursery but your baby would get one on one care, while you can control what goes on and still get some rest/time for yourself.

It would probably be a lot nicer for you and baby as there is just one person for baby to get used to, and she will do pretty much what you want her to do (within reason obviously). A nursery will have their own set ways of doing things and you won't have much control over what happens with your baby. Also I haven't heard of a nursery taking (or being experienced with) a 6 week old baby. The Nurseries I have worked in took babies from 3 months but to be honest, never really had any much younger than 6 months so staff would be doing something new with a newborn, they would have to learn what to do etc.

haveing worked in a nursery, as a mothers help, babysitter, nanny and childminder, I could never put such a young baby in the nurery (although understand why you would - not being funny at all, just me) but if we had the money I would be more than happy to have a mothers help - in fact I would love it.

I think the OP is absolutely right to think about how she'll cope when the new baby arrives, and it is so difficult if you haven't got family nearby.

Is there a Home-Start scheme near you? You can self-refer and they will send a trained volunteer, who has parenting experience, to your home once or twice a week to help out with looking after the baby while you get some rest, play with your other child etc. That might be an easier and more effective way of getting some support than a nursery - Home-Start will support any family with a child under five years old, and can help out for a few months or longer.

My own view is six weeks is very young for a nursery and you might find that the noise and activity results in an over-stimulated and fractious baby being delivered back to you.

my ds2(3rd dc)goes to a cm for 2 half days a week.i had pnd with the others but not with him.maybe coincedence.i get all the bits done i cant/dont want to do when hes around or i just chill.it takes the pressure off a bit.at first he only did one half day-it cost £10 for 4 hours.a small price to pay for a relaxed mummy!

do it if you think you need to.

just thought he didnt start till he was 6 or 8 months old i think.maybe bit older.when tiny we used a sling to make it easier.walked daily to get out the house and danced to make us giggle.

When I gave birth to DS we were living in New York away from friends and family, and it was the most miserable time of my life.

I only got 12 weeks maternity from my company so had arranged to take 3 months unpaid - by the time he was 6 weeks old I was dying to get back to work and away from the depression that had taken me over.

If I'd been near grandparents then I'm sure that they would have taken him off my hands for the odd morning, but I wish I'd looked into getting some short-term childcare as it might have helped to have some time to myself.

So no, YANBU to do whatever you need to do to hang onto your sanity.

ds1 was with a carer (m Mum admittedly) for 8 hours a day from 9 weeks, as was ds2 (they had shite amternity provision back then comared to now). I can't say it has afected our bond at all.

No. I couldnt and wouldnt. This is from someone who had pnd first time around and didn't feel normal until ds was nearly 18 months.

Frankly I am quite shocked by the "Do what YOU need to do" attitude on this thread. A six week old baby with strangers because Mum needs a break? Don't think so.

yanbu

I think you may feel differently when your baby arrives. I also think it will be hard to find a nursery that will accept such a tiny baby for half a day a week. I also STRONGLY recommend a mother's help. If you have an FE college nearish you check to see if they have any childcare courses. If they do, the students have to do placements, and you may be able to get free childcare help from a student several days a week. I think that or a mother's help in your home would be much more helpful, esp re depression as you would get friendly company and support around the house as well as someone to share the work with the baby. A childcare student can't be left alone with the baby, but you can have a bath or nap while they are there and they can come with you, eg to the hairdresser and take care of the baby, take hte baby for a walk and give him a bottle etc

You could advertise for a mother's help three mornings a week or something in a local shop. When is your baby due?

No YANBU, and I am surprised at the number of people wondering about starting ages for nursery, 6 wks is standard in all 5 nurseries in our town.
Let's be reasonable here - it is a few hours a week that may help the OP avoid PND. Baby will not have any issue as long as it is held/fed/changed etc. (I would advise expressing over formula so baby does not have different milk in a different environment but that is another issue).
I had to put dd in part time at 7.5 weeks old,(not my ideal choice at all, but until I can pay a mortgage on maternity pay or give my mat leave to dh... )and she was fine, never had any tantrums about going at a later age either as it was what she grew up with. I did choose a very small nursery with only 2 people in the baby room so not lots of new people to deal with.
Agree you should wait and see how you feel once baby is born but nothing wrong with having this on the back burner as an option

I think it is a good idea to check out a variety of options, so that you feel you can choose what you think will work best for you, and have some standby options in case things work out other than you expected. I remember with dd my mother coming around and saying she would look after ds (then 16mths) so I could go for a walk with dd. I felt very upset because I wanted her to take dd instead! It is quite possible not to want to spend 24/7 with a tiny baby. I wouldn't have felt the same way about ds because he was much easier and because I didn't have the added complication of a toddler. I remember all that advice about sleeping when the baby sleeps etc - fine when you have a predictable baby, but dd only slept when she was being jiggled around, so no rest possible there either. Having said that she was a lovely toddler and is generally a very delightful little girl. Just a difficult baby!

We had a nanny when dd was born, and she had ds three days a week during my maternity leave, which made a huge difference. If you can get help then do!

i'm laughing out loud at the posters who are saying the baby will sleep for most of the time - thats what i thought till i actually had a baby and mine didn't even have colic.

I don't think YABU but i would also feel happier with a childminder or nanny personally but as you know the nursery well then thats your decision. I also think that people have such wildly different experiences of having a baby that you won't really get the answer you need for your own circumstances.

Quote: "I am planning to BF but am thinking about baby having formula on that half day only."
(Excuse my lack of technical knowledge and the fact I have not read all replies!)

I support your decision to use childcare to give yourself a much needed break. I am glad to hear that you plan to breastfeed, (obviously a personal decision but one on which I have strong views.) What does concern me is that you thoroughly research the options before using formula. Expressing breastmilk does not always mean pumps and sterilisers etc. I hand expressed when I went back to work. Expressed milk is safe for 8 days if refrigerated and you wouldn't need large quantities. Expressing when away from your baby also helps to prevent your milk supply tailing off.

Go for it. I dont work at the min and my eldest whos 2 goes for 1 half day each week and my youngest whos just turned 1 is on the waiting list. You have to remember that mothers are human too and everyone desrves a little me time.

Some nurseries won't take babes that young because of bonding issues, feeding and also immunisations (they don't have their jabs till 3 mths)