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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put my 6 week old baby in to nursery for 1 half day a week so i can have a break?

173 replies

babylovesmilk · 16/11/2008 14:54

I am pregnant with my 3rd child and am planning to put my new baby in nursery from 9 -1, 1 day a week. My other DC will be at school. I had PND with my last child, have no family nearby and think the break will be a life line. AIBU?

OP posts:
FiveGoMadInDorset · 16/11/2008 18:40

NO

compo · 16/11/2008 18:41

I don't think a nursery is the right environment for a 6 week old

Anna8888 · 16/11/2008 18:41

It's not worth the logistics of getting a tiny baby to nursery for half a day. Stay at home in your pyjamas and get someone to come in and keep an eye on the baby while doing some chores - far, far better value for money.

KatieDD · 16/11/2008 18:42

Apart from anything else by the time you've sorted out the bottles, nappies, got you and the baby to nursery I'd be more stressed than if I hadn't bothered.
As the others have said get a cleaner/ironing lady/take away's/online shopping and chill with your baba.

Reallytired · 16/11/2008 19:00

Its worth exploring options. Honestly some of you react as if she is suggesting abusing a baby. If its a good nursery then the baby will not suffer.

I am planing to use the sports centre creche when my bump is 6 weeks old so that I can take my six year old son swimming. Does that make me an evil mother? If not, then what is the difference between a nursery and a sports centre creche?

pucca · 16/11/2008 19:24

I actually do agree with Moondog, but was wary of saying it as i couldn't be doing with everyone attacking me.

BoffinMum · 16/11/2008 19:25

I think Moondog would do well to remember that whereas throughout history women had relatives and friends on hand to help when women had new babies, now many people are effectively on their own, and therefore need to use formal childcare, for all sorts of personal family reasons.

Families come up with their own solutions which suit them, according to their circumstances. OP already knows this nursery well, and presumably is friendly with the staff, and parking the baby here for a morning a week is a very straightforward solution in this context. It will be asleep most of the time, or having a ball watching the other children come and go happily. When it's older it could probably cope with a coupel of extra mornings, which might help it settle a bit. In the meantime its mum is getting a well-earned rest and saving her sanity. What the hell is wrong with that????

duckyfuzz · 16/11/2008 19:30

Too young imo and at 6 weeks you will still get alot of time to yourself whilst baby sleeps, if I remember anything about the early days of motherhood (it is a bit of a blur, i have to admit, I've only done it once, but had twins) the early days are not when you need the break, wait til later when the daytime naps have gone, s/he is on the move and you really need the peace

chipmonkey · 16/11/2008 19:31

Anna, why would she want to do chores? If she is going to do it she should go shoppoing, have hair done etc, not fecking chores!

blm, YANBU but I do think getting someone in for a few hours would probably be better than a nursery.

electra · 16/11/2008 19:33

Haven't read the whole thread, but in your shoes I would do the same thing blm... Don't feel like you have to justify yourself either

BoffinMum · 16/11/2008 19:41

My tactic was to make sure the youngest and I slept every day for two hours after lunch and a bf, so I didn't need to have help then because the sleep deprivation wasn't too bad, but every mother is different.

I certainly didn't have PND. If I had I probably would have done the same thing as her because we had a lovely nursery up the road with friendly and cuddly nursery nurses I knew well from when ds1 was little, and who would have done anything for us if there was a need. It was basically our own little community, very personal, very responsive.

In the event ds2 went there at 6 months and had a brilliant time. We miss it a lot now the boys are at school. If you ask me, the boys seem much better balanced than some of the kids who stayed at home until the age of rising 5, frankly. Self-sacrifice does not necessarily lead to better parenting, although it may feel virtuous at the time.

asdmumandteacher · 16/11/2008 19:41

YANBU

izyboy · 16/11/2008 19:45

I havent read the thread properly but just realised your baby is 6 weeks old and you are preggers again! Good lord lovely you must take all the help you can get! Good Luck to you all.

ruty · 16/11/2008 19:56

i think it is too young. I'm not even sue if a nursery will take your dc that young. get some home help maybe?

Gillyan · 16/11/2008 20:01

If it means you cope better with your other child and your current PG then it's totally fine a no-one should criticize you - it is only a few hours and it must be hard having no family to help

Original poster
babylovesmilk · 16/11/2008 20:12

izyboy - I haven't got a 6 week old baby, I'm talking about the one I'm pregnant with!

I am frankly shocked an Moondog and Pucca! Should people who book maternity nurses not have more children because they can't cope and I havementioned it before - what about people who's mum or sister takes the baby for an hour or two - are they not coping.

Both my DC went to nursery (they were over 1 until school age) even when i did'nt work, partly for me so I could have a break.

To be a good parent does not mean being all self sacraficing!

OP posts:
claireyBANG · 16/11/2008 20:13

I am confused...do you already have a 6 week old and are pregnant again? Or are you pregnant and planning to put that baby into nursery once it is 6 weeks old?

claireyBANG · 16/11/2008 20:13

Cross posted!

pucca · 16/11/2008 20:19

Well for starters 6 week old babies do not much other than sleep anyway. I got by myself by sleeping when the baby slept with my first, i had a 2.5 yr gap between my 2 dc so i had 2 children at home all the time to look after when i had ds, my dd started preschool at 3.

I had PND with my ds pretty badly so i do know what it is like to have it, and i had little help off anyone really, i just had to get on with it.

My friend had VERY bad PND and actually yes on that fact alone she decided she couldn't go through that again so will not have anymore dc.

All i am saying is from my point of view, there is no way if i had chosen to get pregnant etc could i put my tiny baby in a nursery so i could get some rest.

lovelysongbirdfliesaway · 16/11/2008 20:25

longbird nods in respect of

By BabiesEverywhere on Sun 16-Nov-08 18:24:50
Personally I would rather spend the money on online shopping, ironing service and/or a cleaner. This would give you much more of a break from the boring rubbish stuff and more time with your children. Hence nap time could be 'YOU' time and 6 week old babies sleep a lot

excellent advice.

if you can't do that get a doula in to help you or ask for help from surestart

well done for being proactive

lovelysongbirdfliesaway · 16/11/2008 20:26

pucca i totally disagree with your comments of

Well for starters 6 week old babies do not much other than sleep anyway

not always true my dd did not sleep in the day until she was 6 months and eatting food, she was non stop bf.

BoffinMum · 16/11/2008 20:31

Had a brilliant idea!!

Forget spending ££ on the nursery. How about contacting a local FE college where they train nursery nurses, and offering your family as a placement?

They are always keen to have families for students to go to.

ThePregnantHedgeWitch · 16/11/2008 20:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

StealthPolarBear · 16/11/2008 20:35

well yanbu
but i personally couldn't do it BabiesEverywhere has good advice
plus do you have any sensible teenage neighbours who would take the baby on an hour's walk twice a week for a fiver?

StealthPolarBear · 16/11/2008 20:36

nursery near me had a 10 week old recently - i didn't realise there was a lower limit usually

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