To feel a bit sad for children in nurseries 8-6 every day?

[SlightlySad]

It struck me yesterday as I took DS2 to the aquarium then for a walk along the seafront that he was very lucky to be doing this. He'd had a few hours chilling out in the morning, taken his big brother to school, had a fun trip out, then back home for a nap.

If he had been in nursery since 12 weeks, then he wouldn't be doing half the things that he does - mother and toddlers, soft play, baby classes, singing classes, trips to the park, pre-school sessions... I know that some nurseries do these things, but it's not every day, and these are the better nurseries. Some children must spend most of their week in one room. I think this would drive DS2 mad.

I'm very lucky in not working, but this isn't a SAHM vs WOHM issue. I just think if I had to go out to work, that I would choose a childminder to care for my children rather than sending them to a nursery.

If you chose a nursery, does yours do lots of extra stuff? Do the children leave the nursery building/garden often? Why did you go with a nursery and not a CM?

Yes, there is EYFS, and a lot of paperwork, etc. CM do have to follow this too. All this doesn't affect kids too much at nursery age, it's when they get to school and have more formal lessons, tests and targets that they become aware of it.

My feeling is just that it isn't necessary. Well, for nurseries and schools, it is necessary to have a curriculum, targets, paperwork, files on each child, etc, because they are dealing with a massive group. But a good parent who knows their child well, can follow that individual child's interests and needs and they can have much better individualised care.

DISCLAIMER Just my feelings, not all parents are able/willing to SAH, nursery has benefits for many kids etc etc.

Teeny. OFSTED want structure and 'proof' (in the form of photos and artwork) of activities as there are a lot of CMs and nurseries who say 'Oh yes, of course we take the children out to local places/let them get messy with paint/cornflour etc.....and don't.

So, yes. We do have to 'tick boxes'

That said, it doesn't take up too much of our time (an advantage of a multi-staffed nursery over a CM)

I can honestly say that I know all of the children at our nursery. I know what they like and don't like to eat. I know what makes them smile. I know when they are tired or want a cuddle.

Paperwork? Shmaperwork! We get it out of the way and get on with the real thing.

Sorry, I'm not juking out of the debate, just off to watch X-Factor

I can't understand the Britush reservations for nurseries either. I'm Italian.

Also, a work day for me is at least a 12 hour day, makes me really knackered and stressed, I find when I have time off I am a much calmer happier and more relaxed person than when I am constantly working to deadlimes and timeframes. By the time I sit down and relax it's usually bedtime on a working day. Plus it means I have housework to catch up on on my days off, I'm usually behind on everything and have piles of things to do. My SAHM friend are just so chilled in contrast.

You're a very drunk Italian, no?

Blueshoes, Thanks! Yes, I am probably the only one on MN I know of who have personal experience of FT nursery so I guess I am the poster-girl

Mildly drunk, yes, and typing on a not so familiar laptop

so what is the verdict fairymum? Are you very aggressive? Can you make significant bonds with other people? Is your IQ lower than it should be? do you know your colours?

Lol, franca.

Fairymum, I expect you to weigh in on nursery threads, you know . Too many prejudices out there.

LOL francagoestohollywood, I have difficulties maintaining eye contact, I am a biter and I still do not know the name of my mother.

Ive never felt such an urge to sit on my hands rather than explain why my dd was at nursery from 9 - 6.

Moves away...tries to.....

Fairymum - I blame your mother - whoever she is. Feckless, selfish and inconsiderate - don't you know you should have been taken to aquariums!

Ooooh! I can weigh in, too as a nursery owner and worker.

My two youngest are at our nursery which, IMO, says it all. I wouldn't want my children to be anywhere that I thought they wouldn't be happy.

And I'm a gleamy-motherf*r-of-a-mother, thankyou very much.

those evil scandinavians
Here Fairymum, have a glass of Barbera.

That's fab, bubble. I know you own and run a good nursery but I did not know you sent your dcs there too - which makes sense. Yes, do weigh in. Too many times, I read from ex-nursery workers who say even their nursery manager does not send their dcs there. Well, my nursery manager does and now you too. Great!!

Quote from DS1 after 5 days at home due to chicken pox:

"Mummy, I really think I should go back to nursery soon to get a proper meal"

but should probably

Yes, the nursery manager in my dc's nursery sent her children there as well (that is when we were in the UK. And yes I'm an evil sahm who sent her dc to nursery on PURPOSE)

pmsl, fairymum!

I get bored and irratable when i sah, ds does too, i find my day becomes unstructured and lax, it is much better for ds that i stay focused and go to work, otherwise i would be addicted to Jezza kyle and sart to rot in my dressing gown

Fairymum my dd2 left nursery nearly four years ago but still waxes lyrical about the food they had there. It's very isn't it!

It all comes down to staffing, IMO.

Nurseries need a good mix of ages.

Young 'uns for the jumping/chasing around the garden stuff. Older, and often mothers (like me) for the 'that child needs to sleep/ a cuddle and teddy/calm-down look.

The bad nurseries I've seen have been staffed by all young (not to be ageist) girls.

I was a young woman once, back in the mists of time - and, although I liked children I had never experienced them, IYSWIM.

We were in Menorca this summer and ds was having (a rather disgusting) spashetti bolognaise and said enthusiastically "dd these spaghetti are delicious, just like those we had at nursery in the UK"

Mine left nursery longer ago than that, and still reminisce about the food, the lovely gardens, the friends they made there......

Oh I hear you vinegar. I could happily rot in my dressing gown to jezza