To feel a bit sad for children in nurseries 8-6 every day?

[SlightlySad]

It struck me yesterday as I took DS2 to the aquarium then for a walk along the seafront that he was very lucky to be doing this. He'd had a few hours chilling out in the morning, taken his big brother to school, had a fun trip out, then back home for a nap.

If he had been in nursery since 12 weeks, then he wouldn't be doing half the things that he does - mother and toddlers, soft play, baby classes, singing classes, trips to the park, pre-school sessions... I know that some nurseries do these things, but it's not every day, and these are the better nurseries. Some children must spend most of their week in one room. I think this would drive DS2 mad.

I'm very lucky in not working, but this isn't a SAHM vs WOHM issue. I just think if I had to go out to work, that I would choose a childminder to care for my children rather than sending them to a nursery.

If you chose a nursery, does yours do lots of extra stuff? Do the children leave the nursery building/garden often? Why did you go with a nursery and not a CM?

I don't give a flying fart how other poeple raise their kids but I do get tired of poeple thinking stay at home mums are stupid or boring or thick or whatever. There is a lot of nastiness towards us.
I also don't understand the 'lucky' comment.

Maybe she is not clever enough to be employed by anyone?

'the use of phrases like "I am lucky" and "feel sad for" (children in nusery) is just incredible arrogance, not to mention ignorance.'

Oh i so agree with that

why can't people express an opinion like 'I feel sad...'?
Maybe she is beanspout. Quite a few sah have qualifications you know.

'I stand by my belief that no child under three (at the earliest) should be in a nursery all day, every day.'

Well shoot me, because mine does, as do a lot of other peoples dc. Another arrogant, ignorant statement by a sahm.

So which sahm has actually said to a specific poster on here, " I pity your dc's etc etc??? I don't recall any. I do recall working mothers generalising about sahm's being smug and thinking their children are going to turn out more balanced and other such shit. Which sahm said that? You don't know the op. She might be smug and thick for all I know (I know I'm certainly not)but you have no right to say that when she was stating her opinion ffs.

needmorecoffee - SAHMs aren't stupid etc but I can't help feeling the OPs comments/question is incredibly stupid - i.e. breathtakingly ignorant and the use o the work "lucky" implies a superiority to Mums who work. That feeling of superiority is juxtaposed by her ignorant comments. She may feel superior but quiet clearly is not LOL!!

either that or she is a Troll

Thing is, if you don't say 'I am lucky to be a SAHM', (some) people jump on you and say 'well, not everyone can afford to be a SAHM, you know'.

Agree the OP is insensitive and ignorant though (and I am sure dd would do way more exciting things at nursery than with me - though I hope she is happy).

why it is ignorant/arrogant to make a statement of what you believe?
I believe everyone should be vegan, so shoot me. But I am also aware other poeple have different beliefs. Dunt make anyone ignorant/arrogant for having beliefs.
Seems to me some WOH mums get very defensive very quickly.

helsbels the op posted this 'To feel a bit sad for children in nurseries 8-6 every day?' as her opening title

Then proceeded to say

'It struck me yesterday as I took DS2 to the aquarium then for a walk along the seafront that he was very lucky to be doing this. He'd had a few hours chilling out in the morning, taken his big brother to school, had a fun trip out, then back home for a nap.

If he had been in nursery since 12 weeks, then he wouldn't be doing half the things that he does - mother and toddlers, soft play, baby classes, singing classes, trips to the park, pre-school sessions... I know that some nurseries do these things, but it's not every day, and these are the better nurseries. Some children must spend most of their week in one room. I think this would drive DS2 mad.'

Very smug imvho

excuse typos - very dodgy keyboard

Can I reiterate my point above: feel sad by all means. Weep into your muesli. But for heaven's sake don't start an AIBU thread and not expect people to interpret your expression of personal woe as a criticism of their choices.

There is a very valid debate to be had about childcare; its quality, its cost, and the variations within it. But that doesn't seem to be SS's point. She just feels Sad. Buy a packet of tissues, love, and keep it to yourself.

LOL Motherinferior

at MI. Actually I'm feeling a bit sad about someone feeling lucky to stay at home. It suggests an experience of work that is neither fulfilling nor rewarding.

Well put MI, (as always!).

it just sounded like an opinion to me. She felt sad for babies. She felt they were missing out.

Its just her opinion. Why the vitriol?
I sometimes feel for kids in school who don't want to be there.

MotherInferior i heart you

Yes I agree she sounds very smug but I don't know her or what she is like and neither do you or anybody else! She thinks that she is lucky to be doing these things with her dc's, whilst "you" think that your dc's are lucky to be in a secure, well liked nursery. So who's to say that you're right and she's wrong???? They are OPINIONS! That's what's bugging me. Fine if you need/want to work and your dc is happy in nursery - I'm not judging you - but why are people being so venomous to sahm's? Just because they're not clever enough to work doesn't mean to say they aren't entitled to their opinions. Sorry, rant over

Needmorecoffee she felt sad for 'children' ans in her opinion dc in nurseres spend most of their week in one room, that is just not true

As I said before I am a SAHM but can see that children may benefit from being in childcare (my children went to nursery).

It is easy for anybody to judge without looking aththere own situtation closely! I can't judge anyone as I am not perfect infact at the moment far from it!

I spend a lot of time in bed or lying about (am pregnant and constantly knackered)
Luckily my DH is around alot and my older Dc are at school/pre-school. If they were younger I think F/T childcare may be a good option at present.

As for comments about SAHM being lucky, I agree that I am lucky that I don't HAVE to work to pay the bills BUT I can't afford childcare anyway!

It sometimes is though. I worked in one.

I do actually feel sad that my employment choices are very limited!

I agree that I find it bizarre when people talk about being 'lucky'! I suppose I see myself as fortunate that I have the choice to work or to depend solely on my DH's income- but it's the choice that's the fortunate thing. I think it's great that I have the choice of an interesting career. It doesn't stop me from being a parent any more than it stops my husband from being a parent.

The only thing that I think is really un fortunate is when people don't have a choice - ie: when they are unskilled/unqualified and can't actually earn enough to pay for decent childcare, or ill and unable to work, or when they have to go out to work to keep a roof over their head but are in a depressing job which they don't enjoy and then have to listen to idiots telling them that if they turned the heating down a bit or got rid of a few TV channels then everything would be sorted!!

some nurseries are rubbish and some are great. There's no pretending otherwise. Just like some kids who stay home have a shit time and are ignored whilst some have lots of fun.
There's no right or wrong. But I do find the venemous attacks on sah's upsetting. Especially as all of us have been sah even if for just a short while.
I chose to sah when the kids were under 5 despite the massive drop in income but planned to do something when they were off to school. 2 weeks after ds2 started I had to home educate cos ds1 was so unhappy and wanted to die (at 6). Not what I planed at all.
Now dd2 is in reception and going FT after crimbo I plan to do something although am aware my choices are limited.
I don't consider myself either sah or woh or anyone else for that matter. Just a mum.

findtheriver

"I agree that I find it bizarre when people talk about being 'lucky'"

People have different opinions.