To think BIL is insensitive for proposing to SIL at my wedding?

[RagingHormone]

Obviously they're not actually in laws yet, but I'll call them BIL and SIL for the sake of this story.

Anyway, SIL is going to be my bridesmaid and she informs me that BIL was planning to propose to her at my wedding! She said she'd told him not to as it would be mean and I agreed and said if she steals my thunder I'll beat her with my bouquet! He's always doing things like this and he called another family member fat to her face and really upset her, she's only 17!

Grrrr.

YANBU. But how did she know he was going to propose?

I think a bit of bouquet beating would be completly justified.

YANBU.. i cant believe anyone would actuproposing to someone at someone else wedding

half my sentance has evaporated !

I cant believe anyone would actully conider proposing to someone at someone else wedding

I know! Sickening isn't it. He told her that he was planning to do so and she told me when we went to a bridesmaid dress fitting. I think she was testing my reaction.

I think its really wierd that he's told her when he's going to propose!

that's just weird. why would he do that?

actually, if you could organise it so that she catches your bouquet and he then proposes, that would be a lovely touch to the day.

But if you still don't want to then YANBU - however, you've told him and he insists on doing it so I don't see a way out of it.

FWIW, people will think he's an arse.

Oh shit it, you know what i mean.

Think I must be missing the 'proposal gene' or something.

If your B and SIL are planning to get married, why is a 'proposal' required?

I don't get this at all. My BF basically told her DP that he had to propose to her or else it would be over between them. So he proposed.

And she acted all 'OMG HE WANTS TO MARRY MEEEEE!!'.

And then got annoyed with me for not appearing to be 'happy for her' etc etc.

Apologies, total hijack. Is he planning to propose in a speech or something?

Get SIL to tell BIL that if he does propose at your wedding, she will say "No"

Ugh, is there anything more stomach-turning than the man who tells you that he is 'going to propose' at some point? Do you think she actually wants to marry him, or is he Going To Propose in such a setting that she will feel obliged to accept - or is he the sort of man who holds the promise of a Proposal over a woman's head like a doggy treat indefinitely?

Am not sure I would mind really, if it was at the evening do, would be quite a romantic thing to do. It would never take the limelight off you guys, it couldn't! (and you could announce your pregancy or your new dog or whatever at their wedding!!)

(I do agree it seems odd that she should know all about it though )

YANBU.

I'm confused by the whole "going to propose" tthing too.

My cousin told me in October that apparently her DP is going to propose before the year is out, and that he's discussed it with her parents.

I don't get it either.

YANBU, my sister announced her engagement at my wedding (funnily enough there is still no sign of a wedding or even an engagement ring for that matter... definate case of wanting to be centre of attention?)

Second the bouquet beating as very justified if not compulsary.

YANBU, it's your day, tell 'em to do it on their own time.

My sister did something a bit similar, she'd been engaged for a while but they hadn't set a date, had no immediate plans etc etc. Anyway, I get engaged on holiday and call home to tell my mum and dad, very excited etc, we even agreed on a weekend for the wedding. I got back from hols to find out my sister had booked her wedding two months before the weekend we'd planned. Great timing eh? She had to out do me didn't she?

Part of me says 'aw, that's quite lovely' but part of me does think 'it's YOUR day'. Um.

And I agree the 'let's get married but you have to wait for a formal proposal' is quite odd. Dh did it, though. I'd got really fed up by the time he FINALLY produced a ring - he claimed he wanted to surprise me. Like I'd forget about the 'ooh, I've got a good idea' conversation'. Made for quite a grumpy few months before he got it over with.

Ooo I don't know, I'd not thought how weird it was that he told he when he's going to propose.

DP proposed to me totally out of the blue on our first holiday and it was all romantic so maybe he's a little jealous and wants to do the same thing (we're getting married abroad). SIL has been decent and told him it would be wrong. So I'm praying he won't do it. I reckon he's planning to do it in a big speech at the reception.

I know I'll be all 'well here, just have my fecking thunder you insensitive pig' all Bridezilla stylee

Headfairy my BIL and SIL did the same thing after saying they were happy just being engaged.

YANBU - very rude stealing your thunder, methinks.

OMG I cross posted. This has actually happened to people??!! [Disgusted bleurgh face emoticon] so for you!!

Oo Ellie I can beat that... not only did my brother announce his engagement at our wedding, DH's brother announced during his Best Man speech that their other brother's wife had just had their DS2. I was not amused.

Next part... how do I make sure he doesn't propose on the day? Maybe sellotape to the big fat gob!!

my bil and sil did this. Not at someone's wedding but at someone's 25th wedding anniversary party.

They'd discussed it between themselves, then went and spoke to the people whose party it was, then he got up on the dance floor and got down on one knee and proposed to her and she acted all surprised and emotional. Fil was absolutely livid and had to be physically restrained from going anywhere near either of them until he calmed down.

10 years later they have been married for 5 years (they got engaged basically to prove a point as both were going away to uni and everyone said it wouldn't last), but I just couldn't see the point of planning the whole event. and to do it at someone else's party is just wrong imo.

wannabe- laughed my head off at 'FIL had to be physically restrained'.