To think BIL is insensitive for proposing to SIL at my wedding?

[RagingHormone]

Obviously they're not actually in laws yet, but I'll call them BIL and SIL for the sake of this story.

Anyway, SIL is going to be my bridesmaid and she informs me that BIL was planning to propose to her at my wedding! She said she'd told him not to as it would be mean and I agreed and said if she steals my thunder I'll beat her with my bouquet! He's always doing things like this and he called another family member fat to her face and really upset her, she's only 17!

Grrrr.

I admit to being puzzled by the getting engaged thing even though we did it ourselves.

But I don't understand the "stealing the brides thunder" thing. I know I am alone in htis but I would have been delighted if someone had done this at my wedding. Similarly if the birth of a baby had been announced.

There is more than enough joy to go around at a celebration (sorry if that sounds twee). Your guests wont tell their workmates that they were at an engagement at the weekend, they will talk about the wedding.

My SIL-to-be is having the baby christened the day after their wedding as otherwise the christening would take away from her limelight.

I would say it would be the icing on the cake to have my baby accepted into the church on the day of my wedding, but fine.

At least I get to buy a 2nd outfit

It is bizarre Sally, and it makes me even more cynical about marriage!

I just wonder how many people (not on this thread obv) get married becuase they think it'll solve a problem in their relationship.

Anyway, they seem happy now so fingers crossed it all works out. It's amazing the power of that tiny rock

I like the guy, he's not horrible or anything. And at our age (37) you're standing in the 'last chance saloon', oh I am awful, I'm nice in RL, honestly...

That is well out of order YANBU! If someone stole my thunder at my wedding I would make my revenge cold cold cold by ruining their wedding day. My BF now DH proposed to her at his aunties funeral with a ring from his divorced cousin, very Jerry Springer, nice! They are still married though and very happy

I've been to three engagement parties. We didn't have one though - nor did anyone buy us presents when we got engaged.

I think that if I had a wedding that was so lovely and romantic that someone got caught up in it all and popped the question then i'd be really pleased, but this whole proposing to propose thing is absurd.
Never felt that my wedding day was about getting attention from others though, so can't see how my "thunder" could have been "stolen".

MorrisZapp - getting married does change things. It is making a firm commitment to one another and the rock and the public vows and declarations on front of loved ones are part of that as much as the legal stuff. It puts you in a position where you can make long term plans, with a reasonable assumption that you will be doing things together.

In reality, at 37, if you want a family you can't be messing about in a relationship with no future because the other person is unwilling to commit. I have seen friends of that age do the same kind of thing, effectively issuing ultimatums, which do sometimes pay off.

V true upwind. I am hoping it will all work out for my pals.