To have reported these builders ?

[beanieb]

At lunch time I walked to the nearest shops to work and passed a site where there are retirement homes being built. As I walked by a couple of builders whistled and shouted 'oy' . I noticed a sign outside the site saying something about 'considerate construction' so rang it immediately! I wasn't rude but I did point out that shouting at people walking by was hardly considerate.

Why do I feel so guilty then!? MEH!

OH Kerrymum - you really have scraped the barrel there

I'm sorry but the fact that you have been raped is neither here nor there! You have no idea if I have been raped or not. Would I be able to put forward the same argument by saying that because I have then I must be right in my opinion that these builders were out of order?

FFS get a grip.

Okay will copy and paste again. And again and again untill someone answers my bloody questions!! I hate being ignored!!!!

Argh this post is making me feel so irationally angry!!

WHY ARE WE PATRONISING THESE MEN??!! By basically saying 'oh it's okay, they're just builders, let them have their fun' which is what you ARE doing, as you can bet you wouldn't feel the same way if it was a man in a different proff making these remarks/ catcalls.If I may c&p my earlier post which has ben handily ignored as no-one seems able to reply!

Okay all of you, imagine you walk into your new GPs surgery and as you do, the doctor wolf whistles and looks you up and down before giving you your examination? Why should we expect less from builders purely because of the job they do as opposed to an accountant/ teacher/ manager?

Would you feel happy if your husband/ brother/ son was doing the same thing? Honestly?

By using the fact that you have been raped to justify your opinion in this thread.

I also think you have read lfc's post and twisted it to say something it is not saying at all!

"I am answering lfc's post and assumption that women who have been raped would mind builders whistling at them"

That's not an assumption I read into her post KM, her post is more complex than that.

The direct question about the chalky noises, the builder's stereotyping?

Kerry, I know you have been raped and that's why I didn't mention you in my post.

It is NOT 'imagined abuse' because someone feels they have been harassed. That's a shitty thing to say

And I stand by reporting the builder across the road from me because I have a vulnerable previously sexually abused child staying with me who I did not want to be subjected to it while she was with me and my 'tits'.

"I know the difference between real and imagined abuse."

What makes you think anyone else doesn't?

I did not assume or SAY that women who have been raped would mind builders whistling at them. It is much more complex than that.

It is NOT in my post

I said it was the thin end of the wedge.

ARRRGGGHHHHH!!!

Kerrymum... no-one said this...

The stereotypes that builders are leerying leches that can't control themselves and are ignorant and stupid (think those exact words were actually used) and that DOCTORS would never do such a thing because they're intelligent and educated.

and meant it. I believe they were simply showing you that perhaps YOU (and everyone else who agrees this practice is acceptable) are the ones who are sterotyping, as you accept this behaviour from a builder, but you wouldn't from a doctor

KM I'm not sure you've been reading the thread properly.

I think that poster was saying that it is precisely that stereotype that is behind the acceptance of this kind of behaviour. Not that those of us who expect better of builders, have of them.

When you are picked out of a crowd to be leered at, followed, flashed at......it feels fucking real enough.

one person is being targeted in all scenarios and it's definitely real for them.

I have no idea why you're being so bizarre on this thread given your experience with this topic.

I think if all unwanted sexualised behaviour was challenged and we had much less tolerance for it (oh, and we brought our sons up to respect women) then there wouldn't be so many unreported rapes and sexual assaults on women.

I'm amazed how unaware people seem to be of continuum stuff actually.

It's funny how people understand that if you allowe people to call black people the N word and insult them in the street and so on, they are more vulnerable to physical attack becuse you foster the attitudes and conditions that make it more likely. But when it comes to women, they go into quite a vociferous denial about it.

I was replying to you saying that it is at a 'distance' and not 'real'

ONE person is being targeted in all those scenarios - it's bloody real. It's actually cringeworthy cos then everyone else looks at you in the street when someone is drawing attention to you by yelling at you (whatever they say, whether it's 'oy' or 'tits' or whistling)

Stewiesmum- bless you, did not see that initially

But really wanted KM or one of the other 'whats wrong with it?' posters to answer. But clearly they can't as they have no answer. Will try to settle my already high blood pressure by consoling myself that this probably means I have won the whole argument. Hurray!

kerrymum, if a black person didn't feel offended if someone made a "chalky" noise (see post below), would it make the noise less racist?

and - 2shoes - is your dh a builder by any chance?

And I notice kerrymum that you did not respond in any way to my two posts about why I reported these builders (because I did not want my previously sexually abused foster child to hear it or experience it)

There's nothing more REAL than that.

the fact is they made the op feel uncomfortable and she had the power to do something about it, so she did, why the hell should she have to walk down the street having people shout things at her?!

firstontheway what
was your post again?