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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have reported these builders ?

320 replies

beanieb · 03/11/2008 14:43

At lunch time I walked to the nearest shops to work and passed a site where there are retirement homes being built. As I walked by a couple of builders whistled and shouted 'oy' . I noticed a sign outside the site saying something about 'considerate construction' so rang it immediately! I wasn't rude but I did point out that shouting at people walking by was hardly considerate.

Why do I feel so guilty then!? MEH!

OP posts:
2shoeshissbangwhoosh · 03/11/2008 15:30

the blokes who have now most likely been sacked probally feel upset as well,

beanieb · 03/11/2008 15:31

onager - thing is - when you are trying to let a woman know you think she is attractive do you really use these methods to let them know? Surely there are more sophisticated ways to do it?

I once had a guy hassle me all the way home. In the end I politely asked if he thought his mum was proud of him or if it was her who had taught him it was ok to harrass someone all the way to their front door. He was really angry with me for pointing out the flaws in his courting routine.

OP posts:
Kathyis6incheshigh · 03/11/2008 15:31

YANBU Beanie. I agree with Little Bella.

2shoeshissbangwhoosh · 03/11/2008 15:31

"they whistled and shouted oy"
hardly sexual harrasment

ilovemyghds · 03/11/2008 15:32

Well if they do have families I'm sure their wives won't be happy to hear they've been sacked for ogling other women ... though I am pretty sure that they would be told off at most and not sacked.

This kind of behaviour also makes me feel uncomfortable (whether they be smartly dressed or builders or anything), as it is usually done when the men are in a gang. Some builders shouted something at me the other day and I was not impressed as I was with my 3 small DCs- my DS could have understood what they were saying and would have wondered what they meant!

I am a bit of a hypocrite though as the other week a buider type said something to me quite quietly as I walked past. I had not had much sleep (new baby) and have not lost all the weight yet, but had done my hair nicely and put on a little make up. I did feel much better and it made my small effort feel appreciated - that is so not feminist I know! Maybe that is the answer; men should only be allowed to say these things quietly and not holler them across crowded streets!

oopsadaisyangel · 03/11/2008 15:33

Personnally I think there are alot more things to worry at the moment than being whistled at by a builder! I would have been embarrassed yes but not to the extent that I felt I would have to complain about it to their employer!

StewieGriffinsMom · 03/11/2008 15:33

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LittleWhizzingBella · 03/11/2008 15:35

ah poor builders being upset.

a) they didn't get the sack

b) if they did, it's their own fault. If I harrassed passing members of the public, I'd get sacked and I'd deserve it. And I wouldn't blame the person I'd harrassed, because I'm an adult and capable of taking responsibility for my behaviour.

And furthermore, people on a website wouldn't get angry with the passing member of the public I'd harrassed, because I don't have a cock and therefore don't deserve excuses for my own unprofessional behaviour.

d'you feel sorry for all the sacked bankers in the city as well? They were all shit at their jobs too.

LittleWhizzingBella · 03/11/2008 15:37

Er, yes it is.

I doubt if they'd do that to a passing man.

onager · 03/11/2008 15:37

Beanieb, who gets to decide what is sophisticated enough? clearly your opinion overides the builders - because they are men?

You can't compare it to harrassment/stalking. There are laws governing that.

And can I remind everyone that women do this too.

beanieb · 03/11/2008 15:38

yes - but 2shoes. Can't you see that they should beresponsible for the consequences of their actions? If they don't want to get reported then don't stand in front of hoardings proudly showing the company name and make people feel like their space has been invaded, and certainly don't hang about doing nothing while harrassing passers by!

I doubt they will lose their jobs.

OP posts:
beanieb · 03/11/2008 15:38

yes - but 2shoes. Can't you see that they should beresponsible for the consequences of their actions? If they don't want to get reported then don't stand in front of hoardings proudly showing the company name and make people feel like their space has been invaded, and certainly don't hang about doing nothing while harrassing passers by!

I doubt they will lose their jobs.

OP posts:
StewieGriffinsMom · 03/11/2008 15:39

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firstontheway · 03/11/2008 15:39

YANBU at all! Am very surprised that so many people think it's acceptable for someone to act this way tbh, I think it's rude, unprofessional and very degrading. I feel very uncomfortable when it happens to me, and I'd hate to think of my husband, father or son behaving in this way. I find it quite sad that in this culture so many men (and apparently women) think its alright to address a stranger in such an intimidating manner. So there!

((gets off high horse and goes to make a cup of tea))

VineGuyFawkesFeltMyTits · 03/11/2008 15:40

I wouldnt give a feck if they lost their jobs (which is highly unlikely) it would be their own fault, men who work alone, i.e postmen or milkmen, dont go shouting down the road after you, whistling and holering 'oy', so why should it be ok for buidlers, working in groups?

2shoeshissbangwhoosh · 03/11/2008 15:40

good greif you lot take life way to seriously.
your happy if a couple of blokes get the sack for having a laugh.
glad the op only has this little thing to complain about.
as for bankers. I doubt if she would have reported them as their wouldn't have been a big sign up.

Ally90 · 03/11/2008 15:40

YANBU

Dislike builders wolfwhistling and shouting, disliked truck drivers in bloody huge jungernauts tooting at me (was in work clothes, and no I'm not a lady of the night). I found it intimidating and rude and invasive of my personal space as you say.

Don't feel guilty...they should have checked out their sign first before they did it!

onager · 03/11/2008 15:43

StewieGriffinsMom, are you a claivoyent? I ask because when you say "designed to make you feel inferiour" you seem quite sure that was their intent.

Personally I find it sexist and degrading that women believe they are tell men what they are thinking in this day and age and I think we should stand up for our rights and burn our underpants.

StewieGriffinsMom · 03/11/2008 15:44

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Anglepoise · 03/11/2008 15:45

YANBU

bodycolder · 03/11/2008 15:45

I would hate it too not that they would whistle at me now.I probably wouldn't have reported them unless it was persistent but would have thought they were wankers tbh and it would have ruined my day.I am amazed in this day and age that these men still think women will tolerate this crap

LittleWhizzingBella · 03/11/2008 15:45

Oh FGS all you apologists for sexual harrassment, stop pretending that wolf-whistling is OK. I am 40 and when I was a teenager, there was a big debate about whether it was sexist or not.

Anyone under the age of 60, knows for a fact that some women find it offensive. Therefore, why the hell would you do it, unless you actually knew the woman and knew she wouldn't find it offensive?

firstontheway · 03/11/2008 15:45

2shoes- I don't think anyone's saying they'd be happy if the builders lost their jobs... but whose fault exactly would it be if they did. How many other jobs can get away with acting in such a way? I'm a nurse, how long do you think I'd have lasted in my job if I wolf whistled at every man walking in, shouting 'phwoooaar!' across the unit?! These men are giving builders a bad rep, why shouldn't they be expected to act professionally, in the same way as almost every other person in the workforce?

exasperatedmummy · 03/11/2008 15:46

beanie is right, i doubt they will lose their jobs, unless of course they have been complained about before for more serious offensives, and in that case that WOULD be their own fault.

I got cross with you beanie because you said my response made you feel less guilty - i don't understand that.

As i am sure you wont be surprised to hear, my DP is a builder so i am a tad sensitive about this sort of thing. Would he wolf whistle at a nice looking woman walking past - honestly and truthfully, i really don't think he would. Most wouldn't, but you are always going to get the young jack the lads who think its the thing to do. It really IS a compliment.

I walked past a site once where the builders were effin and blinding and bellowing down the street, in full earshot of children, there was no number to ring, if not i would have rung it - i guess it just depends on your perspective i suppose.

I didn't mean to be so harsh beanie, but i really do think you over reacted. Its not the end of the world, i imagine their boss has had a word and that will be an end to it.

The thing is, it doesn't take much for builders to lose their jobs lately. My DP lost a site job because the site was being left in a mess - it was partly due to the site management, but thats a different issue, because my DP and his mate were first in that morning, they got it in the neck and ended up losing their jobs, they were last on so first off.

onager · 03/11/2008 15:46

How about if they had knocked her down and raped her - would that be a laugh too? How about if they had burned the whole town to the ground with explosives - would that be a laugh too? How about if they had launched a nuclear attack on russia - would that be a laugh too?

The point being that saying "but what if" in that way is totally irrelevent and rediculous.