To think all this talk of sex education is patronising to teenage mothers

[roseability]

A lot of teenagers want to start a family and know perfectly well how to use a condom

As a society we have actually created the problem by stigmatising teenage pregnancy. It doesn't conform to socioeconomic norms of educational and economic success thus it is wrong. By making it 'wrong' teenage mothers are marginalised and often receive poor antenatal care and fewer opportunities for themselves and their family.

There were actually more teenage mothers in the 1950s than in the 1990s. Of course in the 1950s it was acceptable to have a baby under the age of 20 (as long as you were married). I am not advocating forced marriage but the fact that society accepted it meant teenage mothers got a better deal (in terms of their image anyway)

Define teenager. There is a big difference between a 13 year old who does fall pregnant accidently through poor knowledge and a 19 year old who chooses to start a family young, but doesn't expect to be judged just because she isn't fulfilling society's expectations.

We are not going to stop teenage pregnancy. There are much wider socioeconomic, psychological and political issues surrounding young motherhood than sex education.

Personally I would be more worried about STDs and the damage to young people's health, this is where sex education should be aimed at.

I am sure teenage motherhood is tough and there are issues about the welfare of young mums and their babies but to conclude my point, it is society that has caused such issues. I am also sure that there are many great young mums doing a better job than older mothers.

I had a school friend who once told me 'I always want to live in ***(my home town'

I was immediatley filled with a sense of wanting to do anything but live in my hometown!

I left home, went to uni, got married, had DS. I ticked all the boxes

She had a baby at 18 and lives on the same council estate as her mother.

Am I better than her?

Hell no! For one she is far closer to her family than I will ever be

But Zippi, will your system involve paying back the benefits they received while playing house?

but zippi, the fadct still remains that the rest of us have to support them to do things that way round.
who pays for teenage mums to have council flats, housing benefits, etc etc etc? we do, and it isn't fair

i guess that's why it is stigmatized?

Although, on reflection, I do think the UK has a terrible track record of trying to disseminate useful information in a way that isn't patronising and offensive... so maybe I'm changing my mind.

I wonder whether its our collective very odd attitude to sexuality that is the issue? Sex seems to be staple fodder for the tabloids yet there seems to be deep resistance to teaching children about contraception.

O yes, and vacinating school girls against cervical cancer is encouraging them to be sluts.

If you are not happier than her, then there might be some other problems in your life than not living on some council estate next to your mum. Sorry.

I think you people take offense a bit too quickly.

Sex education is given in loads of other places and nobody is offended.

if only we could all agree spero

But it wasn't just my education,Zippi.

I wanted to travel, get drunk, sleep with sexy men. I wanted (and am glad I did) have a wide experience of life before settling down.

Woman who goon to uni after having babies are often tied to their closest campus. They miss out on the wider experience.

Why wouldn't the 18 year old mum be happier, I bet she's happier than the woman sat in the clinic waiting for the reults of another failed IVF attempt.

Do you know my situation ? In the past.. its not the past.. its now ..a teen mum = on the scrounge .sorry but I know loads of teen mums that work bloody hard to support their children ..ohh to live in your nice mapped out worlds

Its not a question of who superficially is 'better' but who has made life choices that have genuinely enriched their lives and the lives of those they love.

if your friend is happy and her children are happy then she has done very well, regardless of whether she has travelled the world, got a flash job etc.

But it seems that so many teenager mothers end up trapped, frustrated, poor and miserable. And they pass this on to their families and so the cycle continues.

A family member became pregnant as a teenager in the 60s. She was sent to a mother and baby home and the baby was adopted straight away such was the shame associated with being an unmarried teenage mother then.
I used to work in a hospital for adults with learning difficulties. There was more than one female resident who had been there for decades simply because they had had a child out of wedlock.
It is our welfare system that has considerably contributed to the acceptability of teenage pregnancy. Many young girls do see having a baby as a career choice. As unpalatable as it is if we didn't have the benefits available I can't help thinking that some teenagers might be a little more careful. I can remember seeing a young single mother of three unplanned babies all by different fathers on a JK type tv program. She defended her position saying she didn't believe in abortion. Maybe so but that belief is made much easier to have if the taxpayer is footing the bill.

Oh Katie, isn't that just another stereotype though?
I conceived first night of trying as did many of my friends.

Random, surely you can see it is better to wait until a woman can support herself or be part of a partnership which supports itself.

random,I can appreciate that the Daily Mail type reportage of teenage mothers is simplistic and vile, but you can't dismiss the basic truth that for most teenagers,most of the time, pregancy is a really, really crap idea.

southeastra, it would be lovely but I suspect quite dull and i would have to actually concentrate on crap telly.

Women delaying the start of their families to the point that they are infertile does not justify teenage pregnancy. There are plenty of years where women (and their husbands) are both emotionally ready and fertile.

I agree, SP.

Most women have perfectly good fertility levels between the ages of 25 and 35.

Those who delay longer are more often than not well aware of the risks.

I would say that unmarried teenaged mothers were very much stigmatised in the past - it was a very shameful thing and the young women were often persuaded/forced to give their children up for adoption.

Of course, people in general tended to get married and settle down a lot earlier than they do nowadays. A married teenaged mother - like my own mother - was a different creature entirely.

As for the teenage mothers of today... well, personally I think it isn't something to be encouraged unless the mother has the resources to provide for her child. I think people should be encouraged to take responsibility for themselves and their choices and not see having children as a "right" or lifestyle choice. I think there is very little stigma attached to "teenaged motherhood" these days, IMO.

I know two "teenage mums" quite well. Both are good mothers. One was married at 18 and now has 2 children and is supported by her husband.

The other had her first child at 14, the second at 15 and now, at 22 has 4 children. No partner, lives on benefits in a largish council house. Whilst I like her and her children, I do wonder whether it is right that someone can choose a lifestyle like that. I live in an area where housing is very expensive and I know of many working couples with children who could not possibly afford as big a house as my friend has.

I'm not saying her life is easy...I don't know what I'm saying really other than that people having children and expecting the state to bear the cost .... well, it isn't the state, is it? It's taxpayers. So maybe it shouldn't be apparently so easy and maybe "teenage motherhood" is something to be avoided.

the whole thread is just a big generalisation

You mean like the assumption that parents who use the independent sector are elitist?

Anyway, it is perfectly reasonable to state that, in general, teenagers are neither emotionally mature nor financially stable enough to become parents.

'I think you people take offense a bit too quickly.

Sex education is given in loads of other places and nobody is offended.'

I agree.

FWIW, however, whilst I hope my daughters are not young teens when they have children, I also hope they don't wait as long as I did (mid/late-30s).

Sorry, I know a lot of people on here say, 'Oh, I'm even healthier in my 40s' and such, but I don't have the same energy levels I had when I was younger, despite looking after myself better.

Also, whilst I conceived easily at 37, for every one of me, there's at least one and possibly more for whom that might be too late.

but in the long term, probably contribute more to the economy by studying later and having a worthwhile career.

I don't think that anyone should knowingly have a child they can't support financially.

Contribute more to the economy that who? Mums who pay taxes for 10yrs before having kids and staying at home or mums who pay taxes then have kids then continue to pay taxes and support the economy?

ok what about choice - lets discuss that

what may seem like a choice may actually not be a choice.

if a teenager has had a good education
left school with enough gcse's to go on to a-level and then university

but at that point makes an active decision active not passive - to have a child then we can talk about choice

so there ae two things that need to be discussed
is there really a choice for some young people or are there other factors involved in a teenager activley wanting to get pregnant and have a child

i would suggest the latter

then the second thing, i do not for one moment believe that the majority ( by a long way) of teenagers plan to be pregnant.

it happens
through lack of education, hope, drive ambition through lack of seeing what future there is out there for the

i was a teenage mum. it took me 10 years to get the education i needed to lift myself and my children out of poverty, to forge a career and make sure that my family was financially secure enough. to instil hopes, dreams ambition - i haven't got it all right, but what i hope i have done is given them all a clear choice.

a real choice.

a knowledge of what is out there beyond this false choice - if indeed it is that - activley or passivley