To think all this talk of sex education is patronising to teenage mothers

[roseability]

A lot of teenagers want to start a family and know perfectly well how to use a condom

As a society we have actually created the problem by stigmatising teenage pregnancy. It doesn't conform to socioeconomic norms of educational and economic success thus it is wrong. By making it 'wrong' teenage mothers are marginalised and often receive poor antenatal care and fewer opportunities for themselves and their family.

There were actually more teenage mothers in the 1950s than in the 1990s. Of course in the 1950s it was acceptable to have a baby under the age of 20 (as long as you were married). I am not advocating forced marriage but the fact that society accepted it meant teenage mothers got a better deal (in terms of their image anyway)

Define teenager. There is a big difference between a 13 year old who does fall pregnant accidently through poor knowledge and a 19 year old who chooses to start a family young, but doesn't expect to be judged just because she isn't fulfilling society's expectations.

We are not going to stop teenage pregnancy. There are much wider socioeconomic, psychological and political issues surrounding young motherhood than sex education.

Personally I would be more worried about STDs and the damage to young people's health, this is where sex education should be aimed at.

I am sure teenage motherhood is tough and there are issues about the welfare of young mums and their babies but to conclude my point, it is society that has caused such issues. I am also sure that there are many great young mums doing a better job than older mothers.

None of my children were born in wedlock ..does that make me a worse mother

because, as you say in days gone by teenage girls who fell pregnant tended to be married? thus had a roof over their heads and an income coming in. they supported theirselves? and presumably as such it was planned.

what you're forgetting though is that it wasn't always "ok" if you wren't in the above category. there are hundreds of women in this country who were forced to abort babies, or have them adopted, or give them to family members to bring up because they were young and unmarried.

lol @ sea

I think teenage pregancies were/are 'acceptable' in patriachal societies which do not value educating women and treat them as baby making machines, so they get married off as soon as they hit puberty.

I want more for my daughter.

Agree with thisisyesterday. If there were more implications to having a baby young I am sure many more wouldn't. But then i'd rather pay for it than not because there are young girls out there who fall pregnant really accidentally and need support and I don't feel it should be taken away from those who it was set up for because others are 'abusing' it. But I chose to get married and start a family @ 19. We have our own house, DH works full time (and more!) etc. etc. etc. but had to tick the 'teenage pregnancy' box in the front of my maternity notes like a naughty schoolgirl

But Rose, the reason I am in general against it is because there is so much of life to experience before becoming a mum.

I want my daughters to live their lives before commiting so much time and emotional energy to someone else's.

What about education, travel, work, career, relationships etc?

By the time I was a mother (mid 30s) I felt so ready as I had enjoyed myself so much before becoming a parent. Nobody can deny the effort and dedication required by motherhood.

it is quite interesting that biologically the body is more in favour of teenage parents than older mothers yet socially we stigmatise the other way round

rabndom, I am sorry but I think you are totally misreading this thread! do you actually undertand what people are saying??

In the past, it was considered acceptable for a teenage girl to have a baby if she was married.

fact.

does it mean you're a worse mother? no, of course it doesn't, becaseu you've taken what was said entirely out of context and it's totally unrelated to your situation

It's not really accidental - they have to shag first.

It is the massive generalisations that come with such media terms, without looking at the deeper issues

Cotes - apologies if I misread your post

We should be encouraging people to take responsibility for their own offspring. That means not having children until you are in a stable relationship and can financially provide for your own children.

As someone else said, there will be a few teenage mothers who are independently wealthy and whose teenage loves last into adulthood. The vast majority will find themselves alone with a baby and no money or education while still in their teens.

Patronizing is different than guiding the young, which is what parents and (to a lesser degree) legislation is meant to do. We are hormone fuelled children in adults' bodies in our early teens. I remember what passed for thought in my own little teenage head, and thank God my parents had enough of a hold on me so I didn't go making babies with the first guy who made my heart skip a beat.

but squeakypop, accidents do happen.
I was on the pill when I fell pregnant with ds1. about to start university as well.

Biologically isn't it best to have babies at 18? I thought it was quite damaging to have children much before 16.

This is i think the dilemma for women. it might well be better to have your children in your early twenties and then pursue education, careers etc, but i think the concern is about young teenagers having babies because they can't imagine doing anything else, which is so sad.

myredcardigan - yes and that is why I postponed motherhood until my late twenties

But we don't all have the same aspirations. For some having a baby young seems logical and acceptable

Interesting points Spero

There is only one method that is risk free.

Really SEA? I don't remember any friends having any such urges!

The only urges we had were getting lashed, having sex with inappropriate boys and trying desperately to pass our Alevels to get the hell out of the provincial town we lived in. Actually not getting pregnant was a very strong urge.

But even as a teenage mum I definatly think more education etc etc is the way forward. And I don't find it patonising on the whole.

roseability - i don't think anyone has disagreed that some teenager mothers make veyr sensible choices and are well placed to be good mothers.

But equally I think most people have agreed this refers to a tiny minority of teenage mothers.

Surely we have got to do something to try to stem the tide? The implications are awful for the mothers and children. If that is 'patronising', well, tough.

yes, and having a baby young IS logical AND acceptable providing you are in a good relationshipo and can provide a safe and loving home for your baby and can afford to bring it up.

the problem is that the vast majority of young teenage mums don't have any of these things. this impacts negatively on their life, and more importantly, that of their child.

i have to say again though, that the majority of teen mothers i know that are my age now (39) have had more of a drive to make their careers work

it all depends on the person doesn't it, can't just lump them all together

But it's those very aspirations that we should be giving teenage girls.

"For some having a baby young seems logical and acceptable"

Great, as long as they don't expect the rest of us to pay them for the privilege.

How about these young women then work for a living, if it was so logical and acceptable to pop out a baby before they were able to support one?

Those politically correct thoughts are why we are a the top of the teen mum league table, SEA

maybe you are looking at it the wrong way and instead of concentrating all educational efforts and careers on the period up to 21 the opportun ities for having a family young and then getting into a career should be extended then it wouldnt be such a disaster