To think all this talk of sex education is patronising to teenage mothers

[roseability]

A lot of teenagers want to start a family and know perfectly well how to use a condom

As a society we have actually created the problem by stigmatising teenage pregnancy. It doesn't conform to socioeconomic norms of educational and economic success thus it is wrong. By making it 'wrong' teenage mothers are marginalised and often receive poor antenatal care and fewer opportunities for themselves and their family.

There were actually more teenage mothers in the 1950s than in the 1990s. Of course in the 1950s it was acceptable to have a baby under the age of 20 (as long as you were married). I am not advocating forced marriage but the fact that society accepted it meant teenage mothers got a better deal (in terms of their image anyway)

Define teenager. There is a big difference between a 13 year old who does fall pregnant accidently through poor knowledge and a 19 year old who chooses to start a family young, but doesn't expect to be judged just because she isn't fulfilling society's expectations.

We are not going to stop teenage pregnancy. There are much wider socioeconomic, psychological and political issues surrounding young motherhood than sex education.

Personally I would be more worried about STDs and the damage to young people's health, this is where sex education should be aimed at.

I am sure teenage motherhood is tough and there are issues about the welfare of young mums and their babies but to conclude my point, it is society that has caused such issues. I am also sure that there are many great young mums doing a better job than older mothers.

MMMMM.........isn't the thread now about the mutual responsibility of both consenting sexual partners? and the thread title about teen pregnancy?

fgs
i wish they had included me in it as I got pregnant whilst breast feeding..I'd started moving DD1 to take some bottles...immediately pregnant

I mean immediately

Ultimately the purpose of sex IS reproduction.

We have sexual desires and
it feels nice because otherwise we wouldn't bother.

In days gone by people did "generally" wait until they were married because the consequences of a pregancy outside marriage were pretty dreadful.

In the last 30 years or so, it has become more and more acceptable to shag anyone of our choosing - and on one level that is probably a good thing. Contraception is freely available and mostly highly effective if used correctly.

The last 2 facts mean that people no longer really consider a BABY as the natural consequence of the act - unless you're actively trying of course.

Presumably, returning to the moral standards of say the 50s is not going to happen.

So to me when you have sex you should be entering into an understanding as to the risk of accidental pregnancy:

Either both parties are responsible for upbringing of resulting baby.

Or there is no baby. (abortion/adoption)

If people really had to think about the consequences of a quick shag they might think twice about it.

I agree with you PP

If you sort it all out before then you should both know where you stand.

and I don't mean in the heat of the moment.... If you are not grown up enough to discuss sex beforehand, then you are definitely not grown up enough to be doing it!

Exactly cazboldy!

i have sat and read the comments on here and to be honest im affended im 19 and pregnant wif my first child no he was not planned and yes i did use contraception and it didnt work. i dont regret becoming pregnant i wouldnt change it for the world im lookin forward to meeting my son.i was at college and workin and doin my drvin lessons i had to postpone goin to college this year due to being pregnant but i am goin back i passed my drivin test while i was 21weeks preg.i was still workin untill i had to be signed of work i hate being on benifits as i would rather work. i still live at home with my parents and my son has all he needs and more so. i have strong feelings abowt people judging me just because im young and dont look my age. my son is all i care abowt i want him to have the best in life and im dertermind to make somthing of myself even being a young mum as i want my child to be proud of his mum. all im sayin is think before you judge.

I don't think the UK has stigmatised teenage pregnancy. Actually I think the opposite has happened.

I think the huge amount of support given to girls in many areas has made it an acceptable lifestyle choice.

"Why exactly should those of us who postponed motherhood until we can support our babies be forced to pay for the irresponsible ones who decide to have babies before they can afford to?" -- second that fully!

(never have enough time to actually give my own thoughts and end up quoting others.... but the above is exactly what I would have said ...)

I fell pregnant at 16, right before my 17th birthday. Ds1 is now 3, i also have Ds2 who is 3months. Both DC are fathered by the same man. Im no longer with him now, but when i was with him he provided for us.
I would love to get into some sort of work when DS2 is a bit older. But right now im not ready. I dont really have any qualifications, only got 2 GCSE's at grade E & F as i was unable to attend school for most of year 10 & 11 because of bullying and depression. I've done several entry to employment courses, one when i was pregnant with DS1. Part of the course was to have some work experience. Nobody seemed to want to take on a 17yr old who was pregnant. Everyone else on my course seemed to get work experience though. I even tried to get a job whilst pregnant, but again no luck.
Im not proud that i cant support my kids on my own without I.S. at the moment but it wont always be that way.

youngmumtobe - Why exactly have you resurrected this thread?

I assumed it was an accidental resurrection rather than anything pointed..?

glitterstar - i left school having sat no exams at all!! had a few shit jobs, got pregnant at 18. I went back to college when i was 24 and DD1 started school - i now have a degree and phd. You CAN do it, but you have to really want to. Now is a good time to find out what you want to do and look at what you need to do it. You could do your maths and english GCSE's at home maybe? that gets them out of the way as many jobs and courses want those. Then when the LOs are at school look at retraining or getting a job to train. Good luck, you'll be fine.

youngmumtobe - you know im going to have to put you on the naughty step!! You are going to raise your blood pressure if you carry on!! Please don't feel judged, we all get judged - i mean, heaven help you if you feed your child fruit shoot and greggs sausage rolls . I often feel judged and im 38 but you do just have to learn to say, you know what, fuck em, i dont care what anyone thinks - believe me, you really really have to. I have been through serious post natal depression and worrying about what others think of me played a big part - like i had to be perfect all the time - it dragged me down bigtime - dont go there!