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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think its unfair that my DD will probably not get into the state school I can see from my window

455 replies

dilemma456 · 22/10/2008 15:58

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Thomcat · 23/10/2008 13:48

Well if the local school is a catholic school and you're not catholic and don't want her bought up in the catholic ethos of course she can't go there.

If the local school happened to be a boys only school she wouldn't be able to go there either.

Or if the local school you could see from your window was a private school and you didn't want to pay, or coouldn't afford to pay she couldn't go ther either.

It's not anyone's fault that the school you can see is one she can't go to, it's just the way it is. You'll have a bit further to travel every day.

I could easily walk to my local state school but choose not to send my Dd there as we want her to go the local catholic school so we drive there.

I am looking at a private school for my older 2 daughters so will have to do 2 seperate school runs. My DD1 won't be able to attend the private school, or any private scholl because she has SN's so they wouldn't accept her. Eventually she'll end up being educated in a school just for people who have SN's.

There are several types of schools

state
private
all boys
all girls
faith schools
steiner etc etc etc.

Get used to it. It's not going to change and it'll mean that sometimes our most local school isn't one that our children will be able to attend.

I can't bear the 'oh Catholic schools should let anyone in' shit. They are CATHOLIC schools, for people who want their children to bought up in the Catholic ethos. An all boys school wouldn't let in a girl just becasue it was nearer than any other school.

Anna8888 · 23/10/2008 13:50

Thomcat - a voice of reason . Indeed, there are lots of different schools in the UK, we should be thankful that we have a system that supports choice and diversity and realise that the "downside" of that choice is that we might just have to move house to be nearer the school we really want for our children.

nolongeraworriedmummy · 23/10/2008 13:51

I have just read the article and dds school did ask me about her fathers occupation and mine and also addresses, but seeing I wrote that we were seperated, that I wasnt working (at the time) and in big letters that dds father was not to pick her up from school I dont think they discriminated do you?

The thing is when our local church school was getting crap results, all these people that lived near enough to see the school yard werent interested and went to schools further away while those who simply wanted a Christian ethos still attended, now its achieving well those that scorned it want to push everyone else out of the way to go again

soultaken · 23/10/2008 13:51

Me too tomcat. The amount of times you hear "but my nearest school is a catholic school". Er, no it's not, the catholic school is for catholics, and your nearest schools is the nearest LEA one.

darkpunk · 23/10/2008 13:51

there's lots of things i see from my window that i can't have...(this was done to death a few weeks ago anyway)....but yes, yabu..you're not catholic. end of.

SqueakyPop · 23/10/2008 13:53

Wise words, Thomcat.

nolongeraworriedmummy · 23/10/2008 13:54

but DARKPUNK it is not fair, from my window I can see a brandnew Bentley sports model each day and a very expensive top achieving private school so just because I cant afford them whyyy cant I have them

spicemonster · 23/10/2008 13:55

The only people who have spoken out in favour of faith schools are those of you who believe in god. I think that says everything we need to know really.

blueskyandsunshine · 23/10/2008 13:55

Edam, many would put the better results of faith schools down to greater parental involvement rather than bank balance.

Ironically the evidence often cited for greater parental involvement is: well they took the trouble to look up the policy and go to church for three years!

However, of course greater parental involvement may be a consequence of a higher bank balance, or a higher bank balance may be a consequence of a better education. None of these are a given, and it is more complex than you suggest.

Often perhaps always C of E schools (at least) have a policy of putting families of any faith above those of no faith. That is quite hard for atheists.

Has anyone said the house price crash may have an interesting effect on faith schools? The mix could be much improved, not a bad thing at all.

spicemonster · 23/10/2008 13:56

eta - as far as I can see and now I'm going to stop arguing with you because this discussion is irritating me. One day, it will change

Anna8888 · 23/10/2008 13:56

spicemonster - rubbish, I certainly don't believe in God and I am very clear that I support the existence of faith schools.

spicemonster · 23/10/2008 13:57

You also don't live in England anna

SqueakyPop · 23/10/2008 13:58

Not so, Spicemonster.

Those people who whinge about the admissions policies (ie being on the wrong side of them) are giving backhanded compliments to the faith schools.

If the schools were rubbish, they wouldn't be worthy of discussion at all.

Anna8888 · 23/10/2008 13:58

And so?

pingping · 23/10/2008 14:02

YABU Catholic schools are for Catholic children.

Catholic's do pay taxes as well so we are also paying for your state schools and not using them.

I don't think we should aboilish faith schools espeically because RE is few and far between in State schools because of the many different religions some people don't want there children taught about other religions

Lauriefairycake · 23/10/2008 14:05

I am not in favour of faith schools, I think the ethos is divisive and I do not think they should be paid for by the state. (applies to all faith schools)

And I believe in God, and am a Christian.

I just happen to be a liberal Christian who thinks church and state should be separate.

Thomcat · 23/10/2008 14:05

As far as I can remember I was never asked my occupation, nor was my partner. If they had asked they wouldn't have been impressed!!! They would be less impressed by our unhealthy ban balance. I was however asked to have my form signed by my local priest who must state that he knew me, which obviously he did. And I was asked for my DD's baptism certificate, and perhaps mine, I can't remember.

There are many children in DD1's school whose parents are not well off and the school is always offering to help subsidise trips etc etc etc. The school is a registered charity and is constantly fundrasing to help subsidie trips and buy new things for the school.

Lauriefairycake · 23/10/2008 14:06

I think all children should be taught about all types of religion - it's the only way to encourage tolerance, and reduce bigotry and extremism. Particularly now, in this climate of fear and hatred.

Thomcat · 23/10/2008 14:11

Ummm - important note - The children in my local catholic school are taught about all sorts of religion. They study RE like everyone else. Just need to point that out.

singersgirl · 23/10/2008 14:11

I don't think there should be publicly funded schools with religious affiliation. I think it's divisive and outmoded.

Recent figures suggest that every Sunday approximately 1 million people go to both Catholic and Protestant churches in this country, with approximately 1.7 million attending Anglican churches over the course of a month. Given that the population is about 61 million, why are there so many schools for so few active worshippers? Within a mile of my house there are 4 primary schools, and 2 are Catholic. No way is the population here 50% Catholic.

It's not that the schools are good that is the issue. It's that they exist at all.

Spidermama · 23/10/2008 14:12

pingping says 'Catholic's do pay taxes as well so we are also paying for your state schools and not using them'.

However Ping you are not barred from them are you? That's the difference. Non Catholics are paying taxes for a school they are not allowed to go to.

Anna8888 · 23/10/2008 14:13

Forcing all children to attend secular school unless parents wish and are able to pay school fees is rather totalitarian, however...

Miffyinsurrey · 23/10/2008 14:16

Well it would be nice if there were more active worshippers wouldn't it? And good if parents took their children to sunday school rather than Bluewater..
I'm sure church schools teach about all religions.

Spidermama · 23/10/2008 14:17

Yes I totally agree and while we're at it, where's my nearest Taoist school because I'm very keen for my children to have a Taoist education.

Surely the religeous bit should be confined to the home or at least let in others who aren't of the religeon as they are paying. It's indefensible.

singersgirl · 23/10/2008 14:20

But why do children need to go to a faith school? Why can't they go to church on Sunday with their parents, read their bibles, say their prayers and live a Catholic life, taking their values with them into school?

I can't believe that the basic useful tenets of the major religions are not principles that we would strive for all human beings to follow: the ten commandments put them rather nicely.