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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask my Mum to miss my nephew's birthday party so she can look after my dd while I have a hangover?

138 replies

Sushipaws · 20/10/2008 18:03

It's my 30th Birthday in 3 weeks and my Mum was meant to come down and look after my 19mo dd so dh and I could go out and get a bit drunk. She was meant to stay at my house and dh and I were to get a hotel and get back about dd's dinner time, so we could have hangover's in peace. I've had one night out with dh since my dd was born and that was only for about 3 hours in the evening. I've had a couple of nights out without dh since dd was born and I find having a hangover around my dd really hard.

The thing is, my Mum lives about 3 hours drive away and she's told me she'll have to leave early the day after my birthday to get home for my nephew's birthday party. My nephew is going to be 6 and he has to have his party on the Saturday because he's going to his Dad's on the Sunday.

My sister lives near both my parents and relies heavily on them. She has mental and physical health issues so allot of the time I have to change my plans to suit her. I always bow down to what she wants because I know things are hard for her.

I have asked my Mum to miss my nephew's birthday party so she can look after my dd while I have a hangover. It sounds to me like I'm being unreasonable, but I never ask my parents for anything, I never ask my sister for anything and I do many many things for them. My Dad will go to nephew's party, he wouldn't be able to go if my Mum was going (they don't speak).

I know my sister is going to have a fit.

AIBU??????

OP posts:
needmorecoffee · 20/10/2008 18:04

ummm, why drink so much you get a hangover? You could go out and have a great time without drinking that much!

CarGirl · 20/10/2008 18:06

Why on earth would anyone every WANT a hangover?

MadameCastafiore · 20/10/2008 18:06

YABU

wheresthehamster · 20/10/2008 18:06

Do people actually PLAN to have a hangover????

MadameCastafiore · 20/10/2008 18:06

This isn't about your sister or your mother this is about a 6 year old boy.

SmileandWave · 20/10/2008 18:07

Don't get so bladdered that you have a hangover.

Notalone · 20/10/2008 18:07

I was about to say YABVU but then I can kind of see were you are coming from too. Your 30th is a special occasion but your DN birthday is too and he is likely to be gutted if he can't hve his grandmother there with him.

Could your mother take your DD to the party too then you arrange to pick her up later. Not ideal I know but at least you can enjoy your night too

lazarou · 20/10/2008 18:08

Change the date, your mum will be knackered babysitting for you and then having to drive back and then go to a kids manic party. It's a lot to expect. It's not your fault, but would it be difficult to re-arrange your mum to come another time?

MinkyBorage · 20/10/2008 18:08

you know yabu! of course she shouldn't miss your nephew's b'day party just because you've got a hangover!

FattipuffsandThinnifers · 20/10/2008 18:09

Can't DH get up in the morning while you have a 30th birthday lie-in?

Understand the desire to go out and get hammered have fun after months of being pregnant/young baby etc, but think YABU.

SheherazadetheGoat · 20/10/2008 18:09

lazarou is the voice of reason do what she says.

brimfull · 20/10/2008 18:09

yabu

just don't drink so much

you sound like a teenager not a 30yr old tbh

lazarou · 20/10/2008 18:09

You may suddenly develop amazing drinking abilities and be fine the next day.

dizzywitches · 20/10/2008 18:10

she's made a rare commitment to you which I think she should keep BUT there should really be a compromise in there for the sake of your 6yr old nephew

what time is his party? how early would she have to leave? I don't know about you but even getting a lie in to 9/10am these days would be bliss!!

NotDoingTheHousework · 20/10/2008 18:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

sallystrawberry · 20/10/2008 18:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

compo · 20/10/2008 18:11

why don't you leave dd wherever at your mum's house, stay in a hotel somewhere and then pick dd up later. Your mum can take her to her cousin's birthday party
A fab idea, even if I do say so myself

dizzywitches · 20/10/2008 18:12

ooohhh, well done compo!

lazarou · 20/10/2008 18:12

Or do what I would do and let your dh get up with your dd. He may moan about it but you'll be pretending to be asleep so who cares!

Weegle · 20/10/2008 18:12

YABU - I can't believe you go out planning to have a hangover! Also it puts your mum in a very awkward position. DS is 2.5 and we don't have the luxury of such full on babysitting - I knew this when I had him so we haven't allowed ourselves to have horrific hangovers since having him as someone has to deal with him the next day - and that includes my 30th birthday. Go out, have a lovely night toghether, meal, hotel etc but feel bright enough to take over DD again in the morning. Problem solved.

Mandelbrot · 20/10/2008 18:12

Your nephew's birthday is more important than yours.

You Are Blardy Unhinged.

compo · 20/10/2008 18:12

yes I am the best

ScummyMummy · 20/10/2008 18:16

Yes- could you change the date?

I don't think you are being at all unreasonable in wanting a nice drunken celebration for your 30th at all, btw. Would your mum mind missing the party? Or would your nephew be devastated? If not, I don't really see a problem.

hifi · 20/10/2008 18:17

what compo said.yabu.

soultaken · 20/10/2008 18:20

Compo you really are the best. And fiendishly clever too