Okay, so my mac keeps freezing and I'm a bit pre-menstral so I'm getting a bit miffed and I'm going to rant.......
I'm turning 30, not claiming my pension, I'm aloud to go out and have a few drinks. I repeat I'm turning 30, therefore I will not act like at 18yo and get so wrecked I'm falling all over the place. I get a hangover if I have more than 2 glasses of wine, I only gave up breast feeding 6 weeks ago so my tolerance if pretty low.
I haven't lived in my home town for over 10 years and I don't know anyone who lives locally, it's also a tiny village with only a few pubs. So NO I don't want to spend my 30th there because my sister would probably want to come and every night out with her in the last 15 years has ended up with her vomiting or trying to beat me up.
My mother is the only person who can babysit, my Dad does'nt feel comfortable babysitting and has only been to visit me 3 times in the 10 years I've lived down here. My MIL is a full time carer for my FIL who has advanced MS. My BIL would love to babysit but he's in Canada for the next 2 years.
For whoever said "Get a grip woman and act like a resonsible adult and mother and not like a spoilt child."
I have got a grip after dealing with PND and I am acting like a responsible adult by not wanting to be around my dd when I'm not at my best. I am not acting like a spoilt child, my sister has changed the day of my nephews party and I suspect it was because my mother had told her she was babysitting for me. On my dd's first birthday, my mother had to leave because sister was having a miscarraige when she was actually having a period. A few weeks ago when I went up to visit my family my mother had to end our birthday shopping because my sister kept screaming down the phone about my mother loving me more and how she should go home to look after her, blah blah blah...the usual crap you have to put up with if you care for someone who is BiPolar and has OCD. Every significant day in my life that involves my Mum or my sister gets hijacked in some way, including my wedding day.
And for those who said I should count myslef lucky for not being pregnant, I think thats just being silly. Had it not been for my second miscarraige 4 weeks ago, I would have been pregnant and over-bloody-joyed about it. I obviously would not have been drinking, but thats not the case, is it?
My big plan was to go out for dinner with dh, dd, mum, stepdad and a few friends. Then parents would take dd home, I would have a few cocktails and maybe even..........go.....to.....a nightclub There may even have been some..................dancing. Then dh and I would have stayed in a hotel, had a day together the next day then spent the evening with parents, the next day they would drive home.
I have already spoken to my Mum who asked my nephew if he minded if she wasn't there. He said no as long as they went to the Wildlife Park the weekend before. But he told my sister and she has already called me 4 times to call me a selfish bitch and has threatened to cancel my nephews birthday. So I have given in and told my Mum not to bother, my nephew is more important.