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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask my Mum to miss my nephew's birthday party so she can look after my dd while I have a hangover?

138 replies

Sushipaws · 20/10/2008 18:03

It's my 30th Birthday in 3 weeks and my Mum was meant to come down and look after my 19mo dd so dh and I could go out and get a bit drunk. She was meant to stay at my house and dh and I were to get a hotel and get back about dd's dinner time, so we could have hangover's in peace. I've had one night out with dh since my dd was born and that was only for about 3 hours in the evening. I've had a couple of nights out without dh since dd was born and I find having a hangover around my dd really hard.

The thing is, my Mum lives about 3 hours drive away and she's told me she'll have to leave early the day after my birthday to get home for my nephew's birthday party. My nephew is going to be 6 and he has to have his party on the Saturday because he's going to his Dad's on the Sunday.

My sister lives near both my parents and relies heavily on them. She has mental and physical health issues so allot of the time I have to change my plans to suit her. I always bow down to what she wants because I know things are hard for her.

I have asked my Mum to miss my nephew's birthday party so she can look after my dd while I have a hangover. It sounds to me like I'm being unreasonable, but I never ask my parents for anything, I never ask my sister for anything and I do many many things for them. My Dad will go to nephew's party, he wouldn't be able to go if my Mum was going (they don't speak).

I know my sister is going to have a fit.

AIBU??????

OP posts:
MrsSnape · 20/10/2008 19:06

Do people actually PLAN to get drunk?? I thought the idea was to avoid drinking so much that you feel drunk?

Being drunk is your body telling you you have had too much! yabu!

needmorecoffee · 20/10/2008 19:09

and who would want a hangover?

NorthernLurker · 20/10/2008 19:10

A hangover is not a sign that you've had a really good time. It's a sign that you've drunk too much. It's not something you should be planning for or rejoicing in! Get a grip woman and act like a resonsible adult and mother and not like a spoilt child.

myredcardigan · 20/10/2008 19:40

But the OP wouldn't need to do the 6hour trip in one day either. Drive to her mothers. Go out/stay out close to mothers. Pick up daughter from mother's late afternoon after the party.

MorningTownRide · 20/10/2008 19:47

YANBU - I also drink to get drunk. I like it.

There's nothing like nursing a stonking hangover with coca cola and a fry up!

I never had my grandma at my b'days. i doubt a 6 year old will notice.

Sounds like you need to be selfish.

Have a great time.

pamelat · 20/10/2008 19:49

I get a hangover after 2 glasses of wine

What if your DS spent the night at your mums instead? You could go up mid afternoon and he could go to the party.

spicemonster · 20/10/2008 19:51

God you really are a po-faced lot. Some of you might be in your 20s but it sounds like you're going on 60s!

Do you really believe you should never drink to excess again once you've had kids? Blimey. I find that quite depressing

pamelat · 20/10/2008 19:53

chequersandchess - know the feeling. I was 8 months pregnant and had promised myself a glass of fizz. However I smugly decided(!) that if I had not drank for 8 months I could damn well do 1 more!!

I had a glass of champagne when DD was 1 week old instead.

However, am going to make up for it on my 31st next month!

BloodAndMutts · 20/10/2008 19:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

compo · 20/10/2008 19:55

'it's a six hour round trip which you are not prepared to undertake but are quite happy for your Mum to.'
well exactly
my idea was you all go up to your mum's Friday night, have nice night in with your dd and your mum, sat night / birthday night you and dh go out somewhere local to your mum, get taxi back, have lie in while yoour mum gets up with dd and then you all go to nephews party

I mean really is that so hard to do?

NotDoingTheHousework · 20/10/2008 19:55

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harleyd · 20/10/2008 19:55

lol
i havent had a hangover in peace for 10 years
yabu tho

pamelat · 20/10/2008 19:56

Hangovers are not necessarily about excess.

I have sometimes wondered whether I am allergic to booze? Is that possible?! I was once sick after 2 glasses of wine. My mum is worse than me. She once had to call in work ill as she was being sick after 1 half a cider the night before.

compo · 20/10/2008 19:56

spicemonster - we're not po faced but there is such a simple way for the OP to have a wild night out and not upset the rest of the family into the bargain

FiveGoMadInDorset · 20/10/2008 19:57

YABU

DS's christening this weekend, tired and hungover and just got on with it, it is the joy of being parents.

compo · 20/10/2008 19:57

it seems so logical to be as all my family and dh's live away so we never have babysitters on tap

AbbeyA · 20/10/2008 19:58

YABU -why would you want to spoil your birthday with a hangover! Have a nice time and drink less and then your mother can get off early.

AbbeyA · 20/10/2008 19:58

If you want a hangover get a different babysitter.

spicemonster · 20/10/2008 20:02

Sounds like my Sunday NDTH

mmelody · 20/10/2008 20:03

I dont think you are being unreasonable at all. Its a special birthday and of course a lie in and leisurely breakfast are all part of the fun! sorry you are going to miss out.. Get new years eve in the bag though for sure.

thatsnotmymonster · 20/10/2008 20:05

I don't see why the OP is getting such a hard time?

It is her 30th- quite a big birthday. I get drunk after 2 glasses of wine these days and if I'm in bed later than 11pm I feel like I'm hungover all the next day. Even if she isn't hungover, I bet she deserves a litte bit of 'me' time with her dh- just like most of us do. Her nephew is 6 and sees his grandma a lot so I'm sure he'll be just fine if she's not there.

Peachy · 20/10/2008 20:07

Hmm, I think yabu but I can understand why, I know what its like not to have nights out (our first in 2 years went tits up and now baby is coming too)

The Grandad thing- would sister be happy with him?

RubyRioja · 20/10/2008 20:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Peachy · 20/10/2008 20:10

I don't think this is exploitation? I mean if you ask they can say no? I'd do it for my kids one day- my Mum always says just ask if and if yabu i shall tell you

Hulababy · 20/10/2008 20:11

YABU.

You should make sure you stay in a state that you are able to come back ad look after your DD, so your mum can get back to her nephew's birthday party.

I think you should be grateful enough that she is prepared to come and babysit with a 6 hour round trip as it is, let alone add new restrictions on her time!