To ask my Mum to miss my nephew's birthday party so she can look after my dd while I have a hangover?

[Sushipaws]

It's my 30th Birthday in 3 weeks and my Mum was meant to come down and look after my 19mo dd so dh and I could go out and get a bit drunk. She was meant to stay at my house and dh and I were to get a hotel and get back about dd's dinner time, so we could have hangover's in peace. I've had one night out with dh since my dd was born and that was only for about 3 hours in the evening. I've had a couple of nights out without dh since dd was born and I find having a hangover around my dd really hard.

The thing is, my Mum lives about 3 hours drive away and she's told me she'll have to leave early the day after my birthday to get home for my nephew's birthday party. My nephew is going to be 6 and he has to have his party on the Saturday because he's going to his Dad's on the Sunday.

My sister lives near both my parents and relies heavily on them. She has mental and physical health issues so allot of the time I have to change my plans to suit her. I always bow down to what she wants because I know things are hard for her.

I have asked my Mum to miss my nephew's birthday party so she can look after my dd while I have a hangover. It sounds to me like I'm being unreasonable, but I never ask my parents for anything, I never ask my sister for anything and I do many many things for them. My Dad will go to nephew's party, he wouldn't be able to go if my Mum was going (they don't speak).

I know my sister is going to have a fit.

AIBU??????

But if you have kids and want to go out then you need a babysitter, which means you have to rely on other people to provide that babysitting, doesn't matter who it is.
So I suppose you're right, every single one of us is overly reliant.

Scottishmummy - aren't there more alcoholics in Scotland than anywhere else in UK?

Bloodandmutts - I'm a single parent and my mum looks after my DS every week. Like a lot of people. You have a very strange idea of what it's acceptable to ask a parent to do. And FWIW my mum really is the only person who could babysit for him - he would freak out if there was a stranger there when he woke up. I think that's normal for 18months isn't it?

compo - the OP has already said her FIL has MS so her MIL can't look after her DD

EW how would i know?are you making an inference or just being cheeky

Elasticmummy- aren't there more killjoys made out of elastic than any other fabric?

what about having a few glasses and fabulous sex instead of getting smashed and having a hangover? just a suggestion.....

Scottish - I'm implying you have an unhealthy attitude to alcohol which could lead to a drink problem if you don't already have one. Aren't your dc going to be with you on Xmas day? And you're planning to get drunk with them there?

Sushi - your sister is definitely trying to manipulate and by the sounds of it doing a good job. I don't think there is any outcome here where you can all be happy. Is it at all possible that you could drop your DD at your mum's and then find a nice hotel an hour os so away from her. That way, you can pick have a lie in with your DH and breakfast in bed and then DD up after the party the next day and sleep whilst DH drives you home.

Getting drunk is by definition taking an overdose. Alcohol taken in quantity is a poison.

Getting drunk is by definition taking an overdose

What dictionary do you have, girlfriend?

oh unclench,no i plan to go out with my work get drunk,do karaoke,have a laugh.called fun

My dc well last time i looked i had a boyfriend, some very responsible friends and the desire to occasionally have a blow out

i am not in any way a role model or responsible for the Scottish nation alcohol consumption,or for my wanton ways 2 a year

however if Mr Salmond asks nicely i will consider it an honour

make sure you dont get gastric discomfort all dat bile elasticwoman.

pmsl @ oh unclench, scottishmummy.

Back at the house
A bottle is found
And opened in honour of those who have drowned,
While we who have not are stricken with guilt
And dutifully see that not one drop is spilt;
We're drinking to life,
We're drinking to death -
We're drinking 'til none of our livers are left!
We're wending our way down to the spirit store,
We'll drink 'til we just can't drink anymore!
Raise your glasses high,
Drink the cellar dry!
Well, bloody my nose
And blacken my eye!
If it ain't some young Turk in search of a fight -
And Chanticleer's chest is sagging with pride,
For honour has yet to be satisfied.
Well, heaven be thanked
We live in an age
When no man need bother
(Except on the stage)
With 'Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori' -
And definitely not tonight!
I can still remember
When I was just a kid -
I was free to do what I wanted to,
But I never, ever did...
So now with years of discretion reached,
May we not forget
Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité
For there's life in the old world yet!
There'll always be an England (oh yes there will),
An Ireland and a France (indubitably),
A Liechtenstein and Finland (absolutely right, completely undeniable),
And we have only one chance...
Earnest young man with an unhealthy tan
Puts a drink in my hand and says:
"I understand
You're in search of the place
To continue the chase
Of the heavenly taste?
I suggest in that case
You all come with me
To my place by the sea
Where the glasses shall be overflowing with free
Alcoholic delights -
And free love if you like -
For what point has this life
If you can't realise you're dreams?!"
Oh, raise your glasses high,
And drink the town dry!
We'll drink beyond the boundaries of sense!
We'll drink 'til we start to see lovely pink elephants
Inside our heads, inside our beds -
Inside the threads of our pyjama legs -
So don't shoot til you see the reds of our eyes
And an army of elephants marching behind!

From the day I was born 'til the night I will die
All my lovers will be pink and elephantine!

B&M - You said she was reliant on her mum and implied that was a negative thing. I was just pointing out that lots of us are reliant on our mums. If there's nothing wrong with that and actually you're having a go because her sister has moved the goalposts then that's got bugger all to do with reliance has it?

And I mentioned being a single parent simply because most women on the board have a DP to be 'reliant' on and no one has a pop at them for it.

yanbu. if its already arranged.
my friends mum is like this. shel arrange something with her mum months in advance and as soon as her sister snaps her fingers her mum goes running and drops all her plans..
yabu if it was every week but its obviously not.
i know everyone says you shouldnt plan a hangover but at least your being realistic..roll on the sambuca

Ooooh there's some miserable sods on here tonight! An arrangement was made that has got changed. I'd be very disappointed if it was me. Even though we are parents surely we are allowed to let it all go ONCE in a while? I'm abroad and have no-one who could have dd overnight ever. I totally rely on my fabulous babysitter but always have to be home before the witching hour and face the fact that SOMEONE has to get up in the morning and be a parent.

YANBU

I read it that you are a concerned and loving mum who wants to be able to have a few drinks without feeling that you're on parenting duty first thing in the morning.

Sounds fine and healthy to me. If I know I'm on duty the next morning I only have a glass of wine and I have booked my ten year old to go away for the weekend of my wedding anniversary so we can get a bit tipsy and shag loudly.

I'm sure you're dad will love the opportunity to be there without his ex-wife and she can get there later.

That's a ludicrous argument B&M. If someone agrees to care for your child(ren) and then lets you down, then you're going to be pissed off surely? How can it be a 'negative thing' to expect someone to do what they've agreed?

You're not her sister are you?

ScottishMummy if you become secratary for Scottish nation alcohol consumption, give me a call, I'm only 5 minutes drive from the Parliament. We can chat about it over a pint of Buckfast or 2?????

heehee still waiting on lexie phoning me.but aye you an me can get stoccious the gither