not wanting DS away for 3 weeks over Christmas?

[LornaESMurray]

Hi,

My ex Patner is plannign a trip to Australia over Christmas to visit his Mother and brother, he wants to take our son. It's for 3 weeks and I'm worried this is too long for a 3 year old to be away from home?
Can I have your opinions/reasurance of him going away for so long.

TIA

You can say no, you know that.

You keep saying you want a comprimise. Do you ever get one?

He wont help you with childcare yet makes you give up your home when he sees fit.

He has had your son for 2 out of three xmas'

He could go alone.

You will be alone again.

You need to stop feeling so guilty about splitting with him.

I think you are worrying too much about being fair, and he is hugely taking advantage of the fact.

"he does have what he believes to be Georges best interests in his heart, I do know that."

Yes he seems to especially the part where he can't be bothered to get a job and flat to support and provide a stable environment for him.

Incidently why will this holiday be the one to sort out all his woes when all the others you have mentioned haven't?

Ok i'm done now, i wish i hadn't read this thread.

Lorna, Due to no fauly of my own I was seperate from my mum and family at 3 years of age.
I had whooping cough and had to seperateed from my sister who at the time was only a baby, the doctor was concerned tht if she caught it it would be so much worse to fight off. so off I went to stay with my aunty and uncle (mums sister no kids), for 3 weeks mum did visit as much as she could. When i got better I didnt want to go home and screamed by head of literally until aunty had come and get me, this went on for several night and 24 years later I moved out to buy my own home.
I love my Mum but my Aunty is my world.
What I am trying tosay is how do you know how it is going to effect your boy and will he want to come back to you. Yes I had a fabulous life, but i didnt havemy mum or siblings growning up in the same house.

Sorry for being harsh, but reality.

But my view is that he's going to be with his Dad, it's not an Aunt or Uncle it's his parent.
He doesn't pay childcare no, which I dissagree with, but he does buy George things when he needs them. He has bought his Winter JAcket, new shoes, trousers and jumpers.
His Mother has said she is going to help him out in going to Uni to get a digree.

He is trying to make steps to improve his life, it's just sadly come too late.

Lorna its your choice, you seem to have made your mind up. I haope George has a lovely time and you to.

Thanks for all your opinions. I'm sure he will have a lovely time too.

fathers are as much of a parent as mothers, so i dont understand where all these small minded sexist views are coming from. shame on the lot of ya vultures jus trying to put people down to make yaself look betta.

Absolutely Dittany.

Mrsbobito, have you actually read the thread?

well the mother seems to think that he is treating the boy very well. if he is a bit of a bastard to the mother is not the issue because he isnt taking the mother away to australia but only the son

It is not a crime for being relitivly new to this site and although sceptical about it because of the court cases for bullying and so on that have been linked and other things i decided to give it a go as i am currently housebound in a wheelchair.
Anyway my brother had a very hard time with his ex partner over custody and she claimed in court that he took drugs when he smoked a bit of pot on weekends, well he failed a test and she passed one. but the thing is that the mother used to freebase on weekends and this could not be detected after a couple of days but the cannibis stayed in his system for months. in the end he was paying for her drug habit and it was a year later that he got custody after she was arrested for possesion of pcp.
he is now an activist fot fathers for children and i am very proud of him. i think if anyone is trying to manipulate any one then it is dittany. people like you make me sick and if i wasnt in a wheelchair at the moment then i most certainly wouldnt be spending most of my time on the computer. i would be playing with and looking after my children. maybe i should start a thread about is it bad for mothers to sit on there ass all day bitching about other people that they dont know anything about instead of looking after or giving attention to there children. now i would love to hear your reply dittany but i doubt it will hold any clout.

Well my son is in bed and I am mumsnetting in between ironing. I don't think I should wake my son up to play with him at this time of night, do you?

Do you really think a pot smoking thief is a suitable person to look after a 3 year old? DO you honestly think Lorna is getting a good deal? She is the only person earning money, working yet she gets to spend hardly any quality time with her son. Not quite balanced, eh?

Court cases? Bullying?

Lorna i'm pleased you have said you DS can go and i'm sure he will have a fab time.I can honestly say if i was in your situation i would let my DS go.

mrsbobito you are being OTT.

Thanks. I think we are actually going to discuss a compromise now that he and I have calmed down a bit. I'm not going to stop George going and in return I'm hoping he will agree to go for a lesser time and just after Christmas. I shall keep you all posted. Again, thank you for all your views and advise.

That's great news Lorna.

that's really good news. Hope you reach a compromise.